Living Your Best Life – Showing Up for Yourself
Tag Archives: Inspiration
Bawdy Beard Behavior – Do Not Try This at Home (Even If the Internet Tries to Convince You Otherwise)
It is certainly a curious time in history as we navigate the ever-changing world of social media. To be sure, the inventors of the Internet could not have imagined the massive amount of misinformation that can spread almost instantaneously across the world. Indeed, some of the information disseminated can be harmful and sketchy, but some content leans into the comedic and unserious side of the World Wide Web. The latest trending tomfoolery touted as truth arrives in the form of an elder statesman and the playful application of his cologne. His over-the-top theatrics have deluged my social media timeline for the greater part of the past week. So, what is it that has spawned thousands of followers, social media challenges, and satirical spinoffs?
Effortlessly employing a saucy, seductive sleight of hand, he dispenses a mist of cologne before swiftly snatching the molecules out of midair and applying the scented notes to his manly beard. Alas, this was merely a form of frolicsome foreplay before he passionately, provocatively pelvic pumps either the air or the nearest furniture in the area whilst referring to his “big” engine. Honestly, it is quite entertaining and hilarious. However, I have to be that guy and pour a little cold water on this steamy, scented ritual. Unfortunately, many individuals will believe that applying cologne to their beard is the new preferred method. Now, I am not going to write a lengthy opposition piece here; rather, I will just present some honest facts.
Cologne is generally 70-90% alcohol. That being said, knockoff colognes tend to use higher concentrations of alcohol and synthetics than some reputable brands. The skin on your face is delicate; some faces are more sensitive than others. Therefore, it would be wise not to apply cologne to your beard and face. There is a risk of irritating and drying out your skin. Your beard may become dry and scraggly. Seriously, who wants a dry, brittle beard that looks like hay on the face? As a gentleman nearing 50 years of age, and probably rocking a beard for 30 years, I have never seen a recommendation for cologne being rubbed into one’s beard.
Sure, his performative piece on the Internet is perhaps not inflicting any damage on his beard. However, trust me, there will be that one guy who will take this act as gospel, and he will proceed to spray cologne directly into his beard. I have even seen gentlemen with no beard rubbing cologne mist on their bare face. Again, the short videos are funny. However, can we please recognize and acknowledge beard care basics? Drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. Maintain beard health with a dedicated beard wash, conditioner, balm, and oil. Comb and brush your beard to detangle hair and stimulate growth. Besides, no way am I spraying my good cologne in the air to “snatch” it and then dry hump the air for an Internet flex. I’m too old for all that jazz.
Black Thought
“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Failure. To be absolutely certain, the possibility of failure sometimes negates the action of risk. But without risk, albeit intelligent and calculated risk, the beauty of success cannot be viewed from above if one willfully settles into deep valley of fear. Now fear, of course, can be a powerful and intense emotion that dictates behavior and conduct. A myriad of promising dreams and aspirations have collapsed under the immense weight of fear. Fortunately, your broad shoulders are blessed with the strength to not only bear the doubt, the trepidation, the uneasiness; they are also strong enough to press its worrisome mass high and toss it aside with relative ease. Why? Well, because friend, your character is constructed with a firm confidence and fortified with unwavering faith. Even when others cannot see the entire picture, your vision is broadened by belief, hope, and trust – in yourself. And you understand that your vision is a vision of success. The path is set, the destination is clear, all you have to do is take the first step. And don’t fear, we’re all walking this road together.
The Standard #66
Sometimes a gentleman will unexpectedly discover himself in an unfamiliar, perhaps unwelcoming environment. It is easier said than done, but do not burden yourself with debilitating worry. Undoubtedly, the immediate surroundings and circumstances present new challenges. Moreover, a gentleman’s growth and development may be temporarily stunted; you may have even regressed to some degree. Nevertheless, the gentleman retains the core qualities that define his character and resolve. To be certain, an unanticipated arrival of adverse conditions should never erase the blueprint responsible for personal prosperity and earned excellence. Smartly leaning into the attributes and purpose that guided you to success, trust, and you will flourish once again.
Pictured is a black-eyed Susan that I transplanted from my sister-in-law’s yard to my own. The first picture I snapped was shortly after planting. The voyage was quite rough for her; she was in bad shape. Nevertheless, with an attentive hand and measured care, she has been able to bounce back after a few short weeks. Black-eyed Susans are said to symbolize endurance and resilience. It can thrive in harsh soil, tolerate scorching heat, and resist early frost. You may find yourself in a new situation. You may find yourself weathering harsh new conditions. You may find yourself wilting under the weight of weariness and woe. However, your purpose calls upon you to survive, revive, and thrive in any environment. Never forget your identity. Never forget your foundation. Never forget your greatness.
The Standard #57
To be absolutely certain, with the steady passage of time, a gentleman will experience quiet periods of emotional and mental fatigue. His spirit will be disquieted. His mood will be wrought with irregular swings of melancholy and anxiety. Desperately he attempts to summon the requisite energy necessary for addressing the everyday grind of life. And to be sure, without a doubt, life will present an array of adversity that will whittle away your spirit – if allowed. Please understand, you do not exist on an island despite your current circumstances appearing that way. Trust and believe, your current tribulations are another individual’s testimony. You will make it through your time of distress. Because, despite what feels insurmountable, you possess the resolute will and strength to prevail.
Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him; who have been called according to his purpose.” All things – even the most painful ones. And so, faith must dictate that even the most distressing circumstances must be molded to achieve a greater good aligned with His word. I won’t lie to you; it is challenging and I struggle daily. Nevertheless, today, I encourage and challenge you to seek assistance from professionals that are trained to address mental wellness. If you are reading this and you feel trapped in an uncomfortable mental, emotional space; I am with you. If you notice, I have not posted material here since November 2020. We all find ourselves in a rut. I am not immune. However, every earnest attempt must be made to escape the seemingly perpetual prison of pain that binds us. And escape we will – together.
Living Your Best Life – Gratification
Sure, it has been a cool commencement to the 2026 summer season, but that has not halted my adventures in the garden. As per usual, I generally opt to assemble my own potted plants. As a rule of thumb, I studiously follow the true thriller, filler, and spiller formula. The formula is a simple one. It is a method that employs the services of three plants in one pot. The thriller plant functions as the showy, focal point of the arrangement. The filler is, well, self-explanatory, as you would be correct in assuming this plant selection adds volume and fullness to the pot. The spiller plant adds a cascading effect as it pours over the sides. Now, I have experimented with a few plants over the past summers. The resulting pots have been quite nice.
This summer, I decided on the trio of begonia, coleus, and vinca vine. I got to work on a Sunday afternoon, and by the next Sunday, my pot was filling out beautifully. I am very pleased with its progress. Putting the pot together itself is a relaxing, soothing mental exercise. And I am grateful for the results born from my work. Whatever the task, I humbly suggest you identify a labor of love and leisure that elicits personal fulfillment. Most definitely, life will stress you to the point that it may leave you broken. I have learned that my gratitude must be greater than my grief. I am thankful I have found an activity that provides but a moment of reward, peace, and mental clarity. I pray you do as well.
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Style & Scents – L’Homme Idéal Parfum – Guerlain Paris
There are some fragrances on the market that, when smartly paired with proper gentlemanly attire, the gentleman fully understands he is going to be a problem – in a spicy sort of way. Now, let us assume you are that rakish gentleman, and your presentation is sartorially immaculate. Well, Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum wholly understands the assignment. This is a fine fragrance formulated specifically for you. This is elegance, confidence, and masculinity all secured within one bottle. Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum is a 2024 release created by perfumer Delphine Jelk for Guerlain Paris. Guerlain scents are widely recognized for its mature and sophisticated approach to fragrances. And as an older gentleman, I am leaning more towards colognes that project maturity without smelling woefully dated. Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum checks all the right boxes. Let’s tap in.
- Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum arrives with a modest, minimalist presentation. Straight out of the box, you will be handling a densely constructed glass bottle with a moderate bit of heft. Do not drop this beauty on your foot. The bottle is a beautiful geometric square, with the cologne housed within a smaller, square-shaped compartment inside. A simple dark grey label with the fragrance name is centered. The black cap snaps securely in place with the Guerlain emblem, two intertwined cursive letter Gs, etched on the top. The design is indeed very basic, but tasteful. Nonetheless, the bottle takes cues from the scent itself, clean and bold without the desperate need to be loud. I like it a lot.
- Now, let’s dive into the note breakdown. Top Notes: bergamot, orange blossom, spices, and almond. Middle notes: rose, vanilla, and leather. Base notes: vetiver, sandalwood, and tonka bean.
- Did You Know? The scent of bergamot & cherry are known for reducing stress, quieting anxiety, improving sleep, and balancing one’s mood. Moreover, studies show that vanilla has been associated with to elevating a person’s mood, relaxation, and reducing negative emotions.
- Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum is a smooth, mellow fragrance that sits tightly on the gentleman’s skin. It is warm, rich, and deep. The amaretto delivers a beautifully refined cherry scent, but it is not overly sweet. It starts off with a bit of energy, but quickly tones down into the woody notes. The woody notes are not strong to my nose, so don’t expect an outdoorsy vibe here.
- It is not the type of scent that will jump off a gentleman’s skin and fill a room. If you are looking for a scent that yells its arrival, this is not the fragrance for you. Slightly boozy and balanced, it is designed to pull a person in for closer inspection. Nevertheless, there is a fine line here. A gentleman can quickly go from sensual to suffocating. I made the error of over-spraying, and while it may not have choked out a room, it certainly had me in a stranglehold. Proceed with caution, 3-4 sprays would be a safe bet. And you can expect 6-7 hours of longevity.
- Ideally, this scent is a fall and winter fragrance, but cool evenings in the spring offer the perfect opportunity to extend its service. Michigan is on the cooler side this year, so I have been able to wear it more. Summer heat would be just too much.
- Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum is for the understated, classy gentleman that does not beg for attention, yet he unsurprisingly commands it. Strictly business in nature, and best worn during the evening hours, Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum should be worn when the moment demands a touch sophistication, masculinity, and confidence.
- Guerlain L’Homme Ideal Parfum retails for $199.00 3.4 oz., on the Guerlain website. It is currently on sale at FragranceNet and Jomashop.
Brotherly Love – Jalen Brunson – Believing in Your Greatness
Photography Credit – Brooks Brothers
Apologies. It took me a while to muster the strength to write this post. Nonetheless, I want to congratulate NBA champion and Finals Most Valuable Player Jalen Brunson for winning his first championship. Flowers are indeed deserved – salute. And even though my hometown team – Detroit Pistons – was bounced in the second round this season, surely both teams will see each other on the court in the near future. That is neither here nor there. Today, you are owed all the praise. To be honest, I have always admired your professional, humble demeanor. Seriously – how can I hate on a brother with a Brooks Brothers endorsement deal? Brunson presents as a class act both off the court and on the court. An alleged undersized point guard who was drafted 33rd overall in the second round by the Dallas Mavericks, Brunson was repeatedly lowballed on contracts and ultimately opted not to sign him despite his burgeoning status as a star.
And so, after 8 years in the league, 4 years removed from the Mavericks, and now with the New York Knicks, he put the team on his back to secure the team’s first championship since 1973. Salute. I can’t hate on that at all. Brunson displays a tireless work ethic, incredible resilience, and unwavering mental toughness. He sprinted toward greatness and never shrank from the moment. And winning a championship with your father as an assistant coach on the team? Chef’s kiss. Pure cinema was the outcome. I watch the old clips of Daddy Brunson coaching up Jalen when he was a young kid. I watch them with my own son. The videos are truly inspirational. So, yes, salute to my brother. Wish you nothing more than all the success you deserve – unless you are facing the Pistons on the court!
Living Your Best Life – Perennial Resilience
Approximately 5 years ago, I set out to address my mental health by embracing the practice of gardening. A complete novice to the hobby, I studiously absorbed articles online, diligently watched videos, and consulted with friends who also enjoyed the fulfilling practice. I completely overhauled my front yard, as I carefully selected an array of perennial flowers to reduce the yearly maintenance of replanting. My guiding principles for performing any task are governed by patience and attention to detail. And so, amongst my groups of flowers, I planted some Asiatic Lilies because I loved their vibrant color and blooms.
For years, my lilies flourished every spring and summer unscathed – until this year. To my utter dismay, I discovered my newly budding lilies chomped down to the core. I am not going to lie; it was a punch to the gut. Panicked, I scoured the Internet for possible solutions and reached out to friends for answers. The information I received varied. Depending upon the damage, either the stems would still grow or perhaps a few blooms could be coaxed out of the botanical wreckage.
Well, to my delight, my lilies have showcased their resilience and are fighting to put on their seasonal floral display. It all started 5 years ago in my garden. Meticulously plucking out stubborn weeds, replacing the dirt with new nutritious garden soil & manure, digging holes as the sun beat down on my sun hat, and dropping in my beauties with some plant food. The fountain was solid. The work was detailed and performed with patience. And despite the setback, they will be blooming in all their glory.
Sometimes in life, we will face adversity that will seemingly chew us down to the core. We may believe that we may never recover; we may never be the same person again. Well, allow my Asiatic Lilies to be a meaningful metaphor made for that moment. Because, if we have lived enough life to understand, adversity is all but guaranteed to challenge how we feel about ourselves. Nevertheless, when your foundation is strong, your core principles stout, you will always have the opportunity to reemerge victorious – perhaps even better than before. Sometimes, the setback is the setup for the comeback. I will be sure to check back when my lilies have showed up and showed out – just like you will in your personal journey.
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Style & Substance – Lake House 3-Eye Lug Boat Shoe – Timberland
A few years ago, my family and I traveled to Northern Michigan for a quick weekend getaway. A college friend owns a quaint cabin on a lake that she rents during the spring and summer. And so, we booked some time for the great escape. It was timely, as our metropolitan area was hit by heavy thunderstorms. Subsequently, we lost power at home through that weekend (a lot of discarded food upon our return). Quietly located off the beaten path, the cabin’s rural surroundings, for the most part, do not boast paved walkways that are forgiving on your feet. To navigate the local area, proper footwear was definitely required to traverse the rocky, uneven terrain.
Now, for these circumstances, I prefer to employ footwear that captures a hybrid aesthetic of casual and ever so slightly dressy. I need a shoe that looks good, is comfortable, and is durable. Timberland offers such options in the form of their lug-soled boat shoes. The handsome upper is a sophisticated interpretation of a traditional boat shoe, equipped with a thick rubber lug outsole to handle gently rugged outdoor activities. This is not a traditional “boat shoe”, so practice caution if walking on wet surfaces. I do not like being too close to large bodies of water, so I was safe in that respect.
The marriage of refinement and ruggedness is designed for the gentleman who desires a functional, stylish presentation for indoors and outdoors. I lean into this style of footwear because it departs from the standard sneaker options. It smartly elevates a casual environment without being annoyingly loud. Yet it offers enough fashionable detail to distinguish itself from the crowd. And as an added bonus, the chunky lug outsole provides just a little extra height to my stature. Vanity. Yes, I know. We all have some hang-ups, right?
I have always been a fan of the Timberland brand. I have found them durable and relatively inexpensive, as discounts can be secured year-round with a bit of shopping patience. And if not Timberland, other reputable brands on the market offer a variety of options that check the necessary boxes of masculine appeal, comfort, long-wearing, and class. I highly recommend this style for spring and summer during casual moments that call for relaxed chinos and perhaps a classic polo top.
Product Details
- Upper made with Premium Timberland® Leather
- 3/4-length leather-lined footbed
- 360° functional lacing system
- Leather lining
- Traditional handsewn construction
- Rubber lug outsole
- Imported
- Cost – $170 – currently on sale for Father’s Day
Daddy Diary – My Son Just Wrote to Say He Loves Me – A Note of Sunshine on a Cloudy Day in the Life of Dad
Fresh off a debilitating bout of vertigo, I wanted to share a heartwarming note I received from my thoughtful son. Unexpectedly left for me on the breakfast nook table, it was a pleasant surprise given my current stretch run of fatherhood. I am running on empty – emotionally and mentally. I am knee deep in the trenches of missed school assignments, junky bedrooms, lippy protests, and overall confounding behavior. To be sure, fatherhood is not for the faint of heart. Undoubtedly, it is a laborious undertaking of love, obligation, and sacrifice. At times, a gentleman can feel overwhelmed, frustrated, unappreciated, and lost – floating aimlessly adrift in a sea of chaos. Your voice feels muted and you seemingly appear invisible to everyone around you.
And so, just when a gentleman is drowning in thankless responsibility, a token of love and appreciation provides clarity and perspective to his role as father. To my brethren in the parenting struggle, even if this letter was not penned for you, this letter should speak to you. This note brightened an otherwise gloomy period for me. It acknowledged my value and reinforced my resolve to stay engaged as a father. Children really do pay attention, even when you do not believe they are looking. This continuous journey is a long one. For sure, it is a journey of peaks and valleys. I am becoming wise enough to appreciate both. I think I will frame this note and keep it nearby as a personal, gentle reminder that I am loved and valued – even when I have commanded that a room be cleaned for the thousandth time!
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The Standard #65
A wise gentleman fully understands that success is not precipitated by large, unrealistic swings at achieving desired goals. In reality, rather, the process can be an unexciting and laborious journey. He will face a myriad of challenges and failures that will steel his resolve. Therefore, an intelligent gentleman understands that success owes a portion of its existence to winning on the margins. He recognizes that small, deliberate, and incremental action can result in overall positive outcomes. Do not be mistaken, the small wins definitely count. The value of each peripheral win elicits meaningful reflection and deep gratitude. The gentleman understands that life’s bigger picture is a portrait painted with pain, purpose, and prosperity. Celebrate the small victories because victory is still in fact – victory.
Living Your Best Life – Showing Up
Style & Substance – Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter – Every Man Jack
Cliche, yes, but Christmas gifts for fathers generally arrive with an array of curiously patterned neckties, the manliest of power tools, and an adorable assortment of socks. Well, this past Christmas, my children broke from that time-honored tradition and decided upon the gift of grooming. And what hid beneath colored tissue paper in my holiday gift bag was a jar of Every Man Jack Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter. The beard butter is a leave-in conditioner marketed for its promise to tame flyaway hairs, soften your beard, and moisturize your skin. I have spent time with this product for some months now. So, I wanted to share my overall thoughts and experience, and the reader can decide whether it is worth the investment.
- Straight away, I must recognize the product’s pleasant fragrance profile. Product application will obviously land in close proximity to one’s nostrils, so the scent cannot be unnecessarily cloying. Infused with a mellow sweetness, the subtle hints of vanilla do not betray the masculine marketing and presentation. Now, while the warm vanilla is prominent, I do not pick up any obvious traces of cedar. So, if you are a gentleman who prefers woodsy fragrances, this may not be as earthy as advertised to the public.
- Bolstered by shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, and glycerin, the beard butter has a creamy texture that softens both skin and hair. My beard can quickly dry out and flake. It is important that I keep my face moisturized. Every Man Jack Beard Butter leaves my skin supple and my beard fluffy. Do not be alarmed if your beard appears slightly white after massaging a dime-sized amount into your facial hair. It takes a few minutes to be fully absorbed. A quick glance in the mirror, and you will think you have aged a full decade. Do not fear, the appearance is temporary.
- Now, the wheat protein in the ingredients holds the promise to tame disorderly hair strands. My beard is of medium length; I can confidently say this beard butter keeps my beard neat and tidy. However, it is a lightweight product, so thicker beards may require a product with more robust holding power.
- Every Man Jack Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter is best suited for the gentleman with a short to medium-length beard who prefers a pleasant, unintrusive scented beard conditioner to maintain a neat appearance without breaking the bank. I have tried other beard conditioners, and some are too watery with no scent at all. This product feels like it is working – if that makes sense. This beard conditioner offers excellent entry-level value for the average gentleman.
- Every Man Jack Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter retails for approximately $12.00 at 4.0 oz. (114g), and available at Amazon, Target, Walmart, and Every Man Jack website.
- Ingredients: Water/ Eau, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Glycerin, Theobroma Cacao (Cocoa) Seed Butter, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Panthenol, Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Eugenia Caryophyllus (Clove) Leaf Oil, Tocopheryl Acetate, Cetyl Esters, Glyceryl Dilaurate, Cetearyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate Citrate, Cetrimonium Chloride, Dehydroacetic Acid, Benzyl Alcohol, Citric Acid, Sodium Lauroyl Glutamate, Glyceryl Caprylate, Fragrance/ Parfum, Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone, Hydroxycitronellal
Living Your Best Life – Resilience
Well, it would appear that Old Man Winter has relinquished his seemingly perpetual, frosty grip on the temperatures outside – at least here in Michigan. Sure, every few days, he will stage a futile resurgence with a couple of nippy days thrown into the mix, but the picture is crystal clear; spring is an inevitability. And so, on those warm days that call for appreciation of nature, the seasonal spring yard clean-up is a necessity. Now, sprucing up one’s yard involves a lot of dirty work. Dethatching the lawn, trimming back dead flowers, removing animal waste (we have a ton of deer), and pulling these gangly monstrosities (pictured above) from the surrounding area. Ah, yes, the dandelion weed. I swear, in the event of a nuclear holocaust, I declare that only roaches and these unsightly plant aliens will stubbornly survive.
This invasive weed is undeniably resilient. It can survive in poor soil, tolerate drought, resist disease, and repel pests. Notoriously hard to kill, this perennial weed has deep roots and can regrow just about anywhere with the proper seed dispersal. I hate them. They ruin the appearance of my manicured lawn with gangly tentacles stretching toward the heavens after its white puff of seeds has blown away. Nevertheless, I can’t help but respect their hardy nature. Hardy is defined as the ability to endure extreme conditions and or difficult situations.
We can all learn from this mighty weed. To be sure, life is a complex garden full of unfavorable conditions and challenging environments. However, sometimes the most painful moments and adverse conditions teach the most valuable lessons. We just need the physical, emotional, and mental hardiness to not merely survive, but to thrive. We stay stubbornly rooted in our purpose and greatness. When life seemingly cuts us down, we become renewed in strength and vitality. And lastly, we ensure the seeds of our greatness spread far and near. Well, I guess I have more in common with a weed than I previously thought. They still need to get plucked from my yard, though – no hard feelings.
The Gentlemen's Standard 