Tag Archives: Gentleman

Style & Substance – Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter – Every Man Jack

May 24, 2026 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Cliche, yes, but Christmas gifts for fathers generally arrive with an array of curiously patterned neckties, the manliest of power tools, and an adorable assortment of socks. Well, this past Christmas, my children broke from that time-honored tradition and decided upon the gift of grooming. And what hid beneath colored tissue paper in my holiday gift bag was a jar of Every Man Jack Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter. The beard butter is a leave-in conditioner marketed for its promise to tame flyaway hairs, soften your beard, and moisturize your skin. I have spent time with this product for some months now. So, I wanted to share my overall thoughts and experience, and the reader can decide whether it is worth the investment.

  • Straight away, I must recognize the product’s pleasant fragrance profile. Product application will obviously land in close proximity to one’s nostrils, so the scent cannot be unnecessarily cloying. Infused with a mellow sweetness, the subtle hints of vanilla do not betray the masculine marketing and presentation. Now, while the warm vanilla is prominent, I do not pick up any obvious traces of cedar. So, if you are a gentleman who prefers woodsy fragrances, this may not be as earthy as advertised to the public.
  • Bolstered by shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, and glycerin, the beard butter has a creamy texture that softens both skin and hair. My beard can quickly dry out and flake. It is important that I keep my face moisturized. Every Man Jack Beard Butter leaves my skin supple and my beard fluffy. Do not be alarmed if your beard appears slightly white after massaging a dime-sized amount into your facial hair. It takes a few minutes to be fully absorbed. A quick glance in the mirror, and you will think you have aged a full decade. Do not fear, the appearance is temporary.
  • Now, the wheat protein in the ingredients holds the promise to tame disorderly hair strands. My beard is of medium length; I can confidently say this beard butter keeps my beard neat and tidy. However, it is a lightweight product, so thicker beards may require a product with more robust holding power.
  • Every Man Jack Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter is best suited for the gentleman with a short to medium-length beard who prefers a pleasant, unintrusive scented beard conditioner to maintain a neat appearance without breaking the bank. I have tried other beard conditioners, and some are too watery with no scent at all. This product feels like it is working – if that makes sense. This beard conditioner offers excellent entry-level value for the average gentleman.
  • Every Man Jack Vanilla + Cedar Beard Butter retails for approximately $12.00 at 4.0 oz. (114g), and available at Amazon, Target, Walmart, and Every Man Jack website.
  • Ingredients: Water/ Eau, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Glycerin, Theobroma Cacao (Cocoa) Seed Butter, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Panthenol, Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Eugenia Caryophyllus (Clove) Leaf Oil, Tocopheryl Acetate, Cetyl Esters, Glyceryl Dilaurate, Cetearyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate Citrate, Cetrimonium Chloride, Dehydroacetic Acid, Benzyl Alcohol, Citric Acid, Sodium Lauroyl Glutamate, Glyceryl Caprylate, Fragrance/ Parfum, Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone, Hydroxycitronellal

Daddy Diary – If You Play Your (Basketball) Cards Right, Everything Will Be Alright – The Life & Times of Raising a Young Boy

May 14, 2026 By in Daddy Diary Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Unsurprisingly, I am wholly confident that my current challenges of rearing a young boy is not exclusive to my parental timeline. If you are an involved father, and your rambunctious offspring is prone to boneheaded, impulsive behavior – well – you understand the struggle is agonizingly real. Trust, the anxiety induced when one receives an e-mail or phone call from the school is steeped with other worldly levels of stress. Moreover, subsequent frustration is heightened due to how wildly dissimilar our personalities seemingly appear from my perspective. I am extremely quiet and reserved. My son, not so much. And so, perhaps as many other parents such as myself, I searched for activities that would constructively redirect his energy, sharpen his focus while instilling discipline, and awarding him a few victories along the way for his hard work.

Two years ago, I identified an opportunity. Now, I am an avid basketball fan, and with the NBA season approaching, I decided to resurrect a hobby that I enjoyed as a child with my boy – sports card collecting. I absolutely loved ripping open packs and collecting my favorite players. Back then, it was not the corporate business it is now, with specialty cards pricing out the average collector – especially if that collector is just a kid. I had two binders: one blue and the other brown. I had some great rookie cards that I cherished: Grant Hill, Chris Webber, and Dikembe Mutombo just to name a few. Through years of a few changes in residence, my binders were unfortunately lost. It is my hope that they will be rediscovered in a miscellaneous box one day. I digress; I hoped basketball would be the activity to get my son together.

Now, along with collecting basketball cards, I sought an opportunity to introduce a sport (basketball) that could capture and channel his energy for the court – definitely not the classroom. Basketball themed birthday cakes, a portable hoop in the backyard, designated basketball sneakers, basketball camps, and the aforementioned trading cards were all a part of the master plan to course correct my son. The years (yes, years) had been rough. Sometimes, it felt that all the emotional and mental support I expended did not yield any positive returns. It was painfully exhausting, mind-numbingly aggravating, and many times saddening. Doubting myself as a father was not uncommon. Humbly, as a gentleman that generally dispenses what I believe is wise counsel, my words were not landing with my boy. What was I doing wrong?

For the multitude of advice books on the market, fatherhood truly does not have an instructional manual that addresses every scenario. It is very much trial and error – sometimes heavy on the error. I have regrets, many situations I wished I handled differently. Nevertheless, we are dutifully staying the course, and the tide has shifted in a positive direction. Corrective conversations with teachers, principals, and assistant principals have ceased – knock on wood. Test scores are up. He is getting along better with his peers. Punishments have been replaced with praise. Sure, there are the occasional youthful hiccups that accompany this maturation process. That is to be expected, and we are in a much better space now.

So, as father & on making this journey together against the backdrop of basketball, I am proud of his growth. Sometimes, I use current events from the basketball world to teach lessons about life. Nevertheless, it is not all so serious. Along with youth basketball league, watching NBA games together on the couch, we have secured some serious, prime rookie cards from this generation’s NBA stars. Anthony Edwards, Victor Wembanyama, Cade Cunningham, and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander are just a few that we have collected. We have definitely bonded, as I am attempting to create a relationship that I did not enjoy as a child. Raising him has highlighted the importance of preparing him for this crazy world around us. So, if you are a father in the struggle, hang in there. Even when you’re getting your ankles broken on the court (I’ll save that for another post), and you come face to face with Father Time, just know that your value to your child is indeed invaluable.

April 29, 2026 By in Community Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Living Your Best Life – Assistance

April 28, 2026 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Style & Substance – Florsheim x Duckie Brown – Classic Penny Loafer

April 26, 2026 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

As time passes, it is difficult to reconcile how long I have been writing here at The Gentleman’s Standard. The loafers pictured above were purchased around the year 2009, and my style evolution was still in its early phase. I was branching out beyond my sartorial comfort zone, as I experimented with color, fabric, and new fashionable additions to my wardrobe. For example, my shoe game ranged from standard dress oxfords to thick-soled boots, but that was the extent of my modest footwear collection. During that period, I began to explore a variety of footwear options – penny loafers being the first incorporated into my rotation.

The Florsheim x Duckie Brown joint venture presented a prime opportunity to try something new. The soft suede is infused with a gentle rose hue that offers an unexpected, if not lively jolt to my presentation. It is not every day that you see a gentleman with dusty pink wheels peeking from underneath stone-colored khakis. Crazy to think these shoes are that old. They are perfect for spring and summer, as they lend an updated vibe to a vintage, classic look.

Nearly 17 years ago, you would have been hard-pressed to catch me rocking loafers, especially in a soft tone like pink. Nevertheless, I embraced the clean, sophisticated approach – and the inner confidence to sport this look in public. Trust, people noticed, and the compliments were never in short supply. Keep it stylish gentlemen.

Living Your Best Life – Guided by Purpose

April 25, 2026 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

To be certain, life is sometimes an uneven journey of complex experiences tenuously chained together. Given that fact, a gentleman carefully navigates his life with a purpose that governs his actions. He will thoughtfully afford the requisite time and due diligence to satisfy that purpose. Admirable as that is, however, a gentleman may err by overthinking the subject. True, a gentleman must live life with meaning and reason. Nevertheless, purpose should not be defined as some cosmic, life-altering motive for existing. A gentleman can risk searching for a purpose so profound that it inadvertently paralyzes his ability to bring meaningful value to this shared experience of life.

Certainly, having a big purpose has its place. However, sometimes, simple is best. Sometimes, a man just needs an objective – challenging, yet attainable without depleting emotional, mental, or physical inventory. It is tentatively spring here in Michigan, so my simple purpose is to tend to my yard. My hostas, salvia, bee balm, and lilies (although a rabbit snacked on one) are all springing from the ground in all their botanical glory. Purpose sometimes has a season in a gentleman’s life.

Now is the season when my garden plays a huge role in my day-to-day living. My primary job is to keep the garden thriving and vibing. Just take a look at my creeping phlox pictured above. I planted this ground cover approximately 2 years ago with the hopes of adding color and choking out nearby weeds. They were scrawny in the beginning, but some dutiful TLC has resulted in a beautiful floral display near the edges of my garden bed. Challenge: Add some purpose to your life that grants a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment. It does not need to be world-changing, but it should make you swell with pride and a sense of valuable intention.

All the Smoke – Replica by the Fireplace – A Smoldering, Signature Scent That Sizzles in the Spring

April 15, 2026 By in Grooming, Style & Substance, What I'm Wearing Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

As a gentleman of a certain age, I have discovered that my scent palate has slowly evolved to reflect more mature sensibilities. And those mature sensibilities dictate a measured, easy-going approach to living life. Now, life is undoubtedly, sometimes exceedingly complicated. Therefore, when the inevitable intrusion of stress introduces itself into my everyday affairs, I employ grounding techniques that bring me back to center. Grounding is a coping strategy utilized to calm one’s mental health and well-being when under duress.

Grounding refocuses and reconnects you to the present moment; its purpose is to reduce anxiety, fear, stress, and feelings of being overwhelmed. I ground myself by dutifully engaging my senses: touch, sight, hearing, taste, and for the purposes of this post, smell. I wholly enjoy the aromatic nuances of a great-smelling cologne. When perfectly executed, its notes carry me to a safe, soothing space within my mind. I smell great, I feel great. Today, I wanted to talk about one of my favorites – By the Fireplace.

  • Maison Margiela Replica-By the Fireplace is a 2015 release created by perfumer Marie Salamagne. The Replica line is a collection of fragrances designed to replicate intimate memories from specific moments, places, and feelings from a person’s life. The Replica line offers an array of fragrances that range from strolls on the beach to vibing in a jazz club to relaxing by a toasty fireplace.
  • Curiously marketed as a unisex scent, I would humbly disagree with that assessment regarding By the Fireplace. Definitely true to its moniker, the surprisingly realistic aroma of charred wood is both strong and masculine. The warm, sweetly smoky fragrance offers an elegant interpretation of a rustic vibe, evoking the cozy vibe of cuddling by a crackling fireplace. Yes, this is cuddle-buddy approved. It’s warm, deep, and slightly sweet.
  • Top notes: pink pepper essence, orange flower absolute, and clove oil. Middle notes: chestnut accord, guaiac wood oil, and cade oil. Base notes: vanilla accord, cashmeran, and Peru balsam.
  • Did You Know? Studies show that vanilla has been associated with to elevating a person’s mood, relaxation, and reducing negative emotions.
  • With this easily distinctive cologne, a gentleman can safely apply 3-4 sprays without tripping a nearby smoke detector. A gentleman should get a solid 6-7 hours of performance, and perhaps even longer, depending on individual body chemistry. It projects reasonably well, but it won’t choke out an entire room of people.
  • However, I would not consider this smoldering scent appropriate for the office, as the smoky notes of chestnuts and guaiac wood may not be pleasing to everyone. Surely, a considerate gentleman is mindful of other people’s sensibilities. Warning: The delicate line between smelling like a cozy, warm fire and a burning inferno can be turned on its head by over-spraying. To be sure, this fragrance is meant to be enjoyed within close quarters of that special someone. It’s intimate. It’s cozy. It’s inviting.
  • By the Fireplace is formulated for the slightly weathered, sophisticated gentleman who is self-assured and unapologetic in his masculinity. It is a casual fragrance best suited for evening wear. When I think of this cologne, my mind envisions silk/cashmere sweaters coupled with soft cotton trousers and slick loafers.
  • By the Fireplace is a cologne built for cooler temperatures, preferably fall and winter, but during this sneaky season of “false spring”, surprise drops in temperature could provide a prime opportunity for wearing. However, as soon as those temperatures hit 70 and higher, By the Fireplace can quickly become a little cloying to the nose.
  • Maison Margiela Replica-By the Fireplace retails for $170.00 3.4 oz. and $89.00 1.05 oz. By the Fireplace is available at Maison Margiela, Macy’s, Sephora, and other fine men’s department stores. If a gentleman is savvy enough to stay informed regarding sales, FragranceNet.com may also be a viable option to procure this scent at a steep discount.

Living Your Best Life – Appreciating the Little Things

February 13, 2026 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Certainly, life can be an extended marathon complete with unexpected turns, dizzying highs, and deflating lows. Worn and weathered by the challenging journey, a gentleman must seek refuge within the shelter of self-care and wellness. A gentleman must identify and recognize the small things that bring joy and fulfillment to this existence. Because, albeit unbeknownst to him, it can be the little things that bring forth the most meaning and contentment. And trust, the return on investing in one’s own happiness is immensely invaluable. I will provide the reader a simple example. This week, I journeyed to Michaels to purchase assorted Valentine’s merchandise for my son’s classroom celebration of Cupid’s favorite day of the year.

It was no surprise that items were already on sale. To be sure, stores move swiftly between holidays to deplete old inventory to accommodate incoming merchandise – hello St. Patrick’s Day and Easter. Nevertheless, as it is still frustratingly frigid outside, it was only appropriate that Christmas items were still stocked throughout the store – of course on a very steep discount. With a discount to the tune of 70%, I briefly abandoned my mission of love to dive into some big, beautiful bargain bins, hoping to spy something unique to add to my gift-wrapping war chest. Now, if you have been following this blog, you know that I have become quite fond of wrapping gifts. Perusing the gift tags, ribbon, and wrapping paper; I spotted a container of lively jingle bells.

And so, for a mere $1.50, I was able to procure a 9-piece set of assorted, colorful bells to add to the collection of Christmas complements. Looking at the vivid bells through the clear plastic container, my mind began to race through creative ideas for Christmas 2026. The smile inside me was unapologetically broad. The time I will spend pairing and threading colored twine through bells as I wrap a fanciful bow is reserved strictly for my peace of mind. It is reserved for my creative impulses. It is reserved for the joy and satisfaction I feel when look at the finished work, selfishly not wanting it to ever be untied. Joy. Peace. Fulfillment. All for the low, low price of $1.50 and a bit of quiet time to myself. What are the little things that bring you happiness? What the small things that afford you peace and satisfaction? You are worth investing in you. Stayed tuned for Christmas 2026. Too soon?

Style & Substance – Standing on Business (Casual) – An Unabashed Endorsement for the Hybrid Dress Shoe

February 9, 2026 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Approximately one month ago or so, my YouTube algorithm recommended a video that highlighted three men’s styles that should have been unabashedly abandoned in the year 2025. To my astonishment, the hybrid dress shoe was unceremoniously identified for such cancellation. And I wholeheartedly understand, the marriage of formal and informal shoe aesthetics can succeed stylishly, or lead to a Frankenstein furnishing of fashion.

More than a decade ago, the rise of the hybrid dress shoe arrived with some unsightly offerings. The inelegant execution of a refined dress shoe upper and cushioned sneaker outsole resulted in a clunky, unbalanced piece of footwear. Nevertheless, as with any experimental creation, trial and error is required to steadily improve the final product. I believe more and more brands are nailing the execution. Therefore, don’t reserve those dress hybrids to the trash bin so soon.

In my humble opinion, the dress shoe hybrid offers a useful combination of utility and practicality. They bridge the divide between business formal and casual. Now, the office dress code at my job prohibits wearing sneakers unless approved for medical reasons. And for a gentleman such as myself who prefers to break up cubicle monotony with a walk around the office floor, a traditional dress shoe can be quite unforgiving on one’s feet. Heaven forbid a colleague utilizes a standup desk. The soft midsole and outsole can help ease potential aching feet.

Comfort also extends to long commutes across parking lots or if you are standing for an extended period of time (perhaps a PowerPoint presentation on tap). The versatility of a hybrid allows for an appealing appearance of an Oxford while ensuring the walking comfort and cushioning of a sneaker. And yes, loafers can fit the bill as well. Our office allows for business casual attire, so the dress hybrid is perfect compromise. And added bonuses such as improved traction and better durability about the sole make it even more practical.

Now, as much as I am a strong advocate for hybrid dress shoes, I do abide by a principled set of personal rules and protocols. I do not wear hybrid shoes with suits or dress trousers. I understand that some personalities in media wear dress hybrids with suits, but the presentation looks a bit uneven and odd from my perspective. Denim jeans or cotton pants would be my preferred bottoms of choice. Uppers should still retain the presence of quality leather, so the shoe does not project a cheap aura. So, where should a gentleman begin to look for a distinguished dress hybrid?

Whether wingtip, cap-toe, plain toe, tassel loafer, etc., I have a few brand recommendations. Cole Haan, Magnanni, Johnston & Murphy, and Grenson are reputable brands I have found success throughout the years. Johnston & Murphy are the most affordable ($100-150) with sales seemingly always ongoing. Style can be hit or miss, as J&M sometimes leans heavily into the sneaker aesthetic on some models. The more casual the shoe becomes; you are probably better off just buying a full-fledged sneaker.

Magnanni and Grenson offer the most style but are expensive (we’re talking North of $400 dollars here), so look for sales when you can spot a few. Cole Haan offers comfort and affordability ($100-150) with continuing sales on par with J&M. Cole Haan tends to be more aesthetically pleasing than J&M with a variety of dazzling colors for selection. On par with Cole Haan, Grenson also offers great comfort. However, their wedge soles tend to be thicker, so select wisely to match your own style. Personally, I do not mind a few centimeters added to my height!

I think it is a tad bit premature to announce the demise of the hybrid dress shoe. As office dress codes have relaxed over the years, a hybrid shoe can provide a gentleman a service of form and function. A gentleman is afforded a polished, professional presentation while reducing the possibility of aching feet. A few pairs in the gentleman’s closet would most definitely elevate his business casual attire up a few notches.

Living Your Best Life

February 4, 2026 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

The Standard #62

January 14, 2026 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A concerned observation from a regular gentleman: An alarming number of modern men are afflicted with an impotence of integrity, intelligence, courage, and decency. And in a desperate measure to address said deficiencies, men have turned to an addictive narcotic, hoping to stimulate and erect their seemingly flaccid manhood – power. Utilized to advance the common good for society, power can be an invaluable tool wielded by the correct individual. However, power contained within the cold, calculating clasp of the callous can lead to calamitous consequences. Without question power is responsibility. Luke 12:48 states, “But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” As men, much is required, and we must govern ourselves accordingly.

And so, I offer an unequivocal, unapologetic opinion: There are too many men entrusted with power that are not responsible. Trafficking tension and weaponizing woe for personal profit, they cleverly utilize influence to intoxicate the masses. Beware of madness, mediocrity, and misogyny masquerading beneath a makeshift mask of masculinity. Do not be seduced by the sounds of melodic misinformation. And train one’s eyes and ears to identify empty bluster in a frail attempt to slyly conceal cowardice. For fear is an instrument wielded by individuals endowed with ineptitude and engulfed with insecurity. To be certain, a righteous gentleman will stand ten toes down on principles that are sound. A righteous gentleman understands that his masculinity is grounded in truth, dignity, honor, and respect. His strength is divinely designed to serve society and its people, as there is providential power in his purpose. I pray that you are living in your power to add virtue, morality, and goodness to this shared experience we call life.

Style & Substance – Square in Square Geo Woven Silk Necktie – David Donahue

August 16, 2025 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The old saying is slightly cliche, however, health is most certainly wealth. And to be certain, a gentleman’s health encompasses many facets representing the mind, body, and spirit. Now, the reference to wealth is not necessarily bound to the accumulation of monetary assets. Rather, in this context, it is the abundance and value of his personal human capital. It is human capital comprised of the aforementioned mind, body, and spirit. It is a gentleman’s responsibility to allot the proper care, resources, and management toward these three key areas. Being a good steward for one’s health and well-being should not be viewed as a complicated, fussy exercise. Simply, self-care should be intentional activities that encourage positive effects on your well-being.

For example, two weeks ago, I unexpectedly found myself temporarily freed from the duties of being a father and husband. Cognizant of the fleeting time I possessed, I escaped away to a local shopping mall. Once there, I treated myself to a good movie (The Fantastic Four) and procured a jazzy David Donahue necktie on sale for an incredibly low $33.00 – marked down from $135.00. I have a deep affinity in my heart for neckties. One could argue that I own too many (do not ask). Nevertheless, some gentlemen collect watches, others have tastes for fine liquor, and many others love cars. I on the other hand gravitate to the beauty of a lovely necktie. I like the feel of different fabrics, as well as looking at the beauty of diverse colors and decorative patterns.

The necktie pictured above boasts a rich, beautiful hue of plum that will pair nicely with either a lavender, pink, or solid white dress shirt. The necktie’s abstract, geometric pattern can playfully complement any conservative leaning dress shirt -think solid or striped- that hangs in a gentleman’s closet. The 100% woven silk adds subtle texture and a medium weight that is sure to guarantee an exquisite dimple along with a graceful drape. It was a great afternoon. If but for a few hours, I was able to enjoy the temporary emancipation from life’s demands. And when your plate is a full course meal of requests, problems, and conflicts that require a substantial amount of personal attention – it can be exceedingly overwhelming. Therefore, it is imperative that one carves out time to introduce calm into chaos. It can be as simple as a movie and necktie. Be well and be the first to put yourself first.

The Standard #61

July 28, 2025 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

To be certain, the respectable gentleman embraces a core principle of accountability. Now, when defining accountability, we understand it to be ownership of one’s actions and its subsequent outcomes whether it is positive or negative. Moreover, we understand that it is easier to embrace positive outcomes; those are of course more rewarding. However, unfavorable consequences challenge a gentleman to address his imperfections, failures, and transgressions. The exercise can be profoundly uncomfortable, yet it is an exercise that must be performed, nonetheless. Fleeing accountability is not some newfangled, novel notion of neglect. However, it seems as if individuals are currently abdicating responsibility at a breakneck pace. When dealing with transgressions, an essential component of accountability is acknowledging one’s role in the matter and learning from it. However, wisdom and knowledge cannot be gleaned from a lesson if the student skips the test. For the constitution of his character is clearly conveyed through a crucible of courage confessing culpability and contrition. A gentleman does not project anger, redirect faults, or offer empty excuses for his conduct. A gentleman’s objective is clear: admission, apology, and assiduous atonement. Adopt those standards to become a better gentleman, and moreover, a better human being.