An intelligent gentleman understands that wisdom entails a discerning practice of collecting information while observing and understanding life experiences. Utilizing that knowledge, wisdom demands meaningful reflection followed by deliberate, calculated decision-making based on mental & emotional clarity, practicality, and well-thought conclusions. Wisdom thrives when a gentleman is devoid of self-sabotaging traits such as misguided arrogance and impulsivity. Unfortunately, wisdom is sometimes betrayed by the incontestable inexperience and volatility of youth.
This particular subject is top of mind due to the current events surrounding Jaden Ivey and his uncertain future in the National Basketball Association. Ivey was dismissed from the Chicago Bulls shortly after sharing some of his beliefs on Instagram. The purpose of this post is not to argue what is just or unjust about Ivey being waived from the team. Rather, I would like to use this event to offer practical advice to anyone that may be prone to rash decisions that lead to unexpected and unfortunate consequences. This can certainly apply to anyone, but I specifically want to speak to the young crowd today. I hope some of this information provides needed insight for someone.
- Gentlemen, listen closely, not everything is meant for public consumption. Social media has become so ingrained in today’s society that the irresistible urge to share the most personal, intimate details of our lives has become ridiculously addictive. Meta and YouTube were just recently sued and found liable for that very fact, but I digress. Stop oversharing! For example, no husband should voice grievances about his spouse or significant other online. Some things are meant to remain private, away from the prying eyes and opinions of strangers. Guys, we do not move in this manner. It is never wise to invite the world into your bedroom. The outcomes could be regretfully disastrous.
- Are you familiar with the saying “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? One’s message may indeed be reasonable, bear common sense, and grounded in truth. However, if the delivery is abrasive, confrontational, judgmental, and needlessly pushy; individuals will be turned away from your message instead of toward it. Your delivery matters. And ensure that you gather and place your thoughts in logical order. Anyone attempting to navigate a maze of incoherent rambling will find themselves lost and confused.
- A gentleman must slow down and think before he acts on matters of importance. Recalling the first bullet point, too many people rush to social media for affirmation and approval. People desperately want to feel a sense of justification and confirmation based on “likes” and comments from strangers – some with nefarious intentions. And even worse, some of the responses could be the creation of an A.I. Bot. Your mental health and well-being are potentially compromised by a non-human. No. Think before you speak or act. And honestly, you probably should not do either. People (especially our young folks) can lack the foresight, failing to identify downstream effects and ramifications.
- Similar to delivery, a gentleman should be mindful of his presentation – appearances matter. An unkempt, disheveled presentation can unfortunately undermine your credibility even if your messaging is rock solid. It’s possible you can lose the audience before you even secure their attention. And if a messy appearance is combined with an incoherent message – forget about it.
- Matters of great importance or bear the potential for serious consequences require counsel with trusted sources. Never just wing it. There are angles and blind spots that require awareness. Having a conversation with someone and hearing your words out loud can offer much-needed reflection and insight. Wisdom is procured and refined over the course of time through lived experiences, learning from others, and deep reflection. Constructive dialogue and feedback make it stronger.
To be absolutely certain, the emotional and mental anguish is undeniable. And sometimes the anguish manifests itself physically – scars indelibly, indiscriminately tattooing the body. It is a pain that enjoys a perpetual downpour of torrential hate; roots strengthening its grasp within the fertile soil of the human spirit, rendering it barren of dignity or hope. Starved of equality and justice, our humanity has become emaciated from being forcibly fed prejudice, privilege, and hate. To be absolutely certain, it is an exhausting exercise of suffering. However, we should never allow ourselves to become so starved for justice and equality that we become equal participants in the deprivation of our own humanity. The oppressed should never adopt the identity or ideology of the oppressor. We should never debase our ethics and morality to achieve a perceived modicum of equal footing. Because, once that choice is made, the reason behind the mission is compromised. To be unambiguous, we should never acquiesce to indignant ignorance, idiocy, and ill will. The expectation is daunting, and honestly, the burden of righteousness and virtue should not lie with the persecuted. Yet, I call upon you to stand fierce in righteousness, honor, and goodness. Do not be mistaken, moral strength and conviction can be righteously weaponized to strike down animus, and dismantle systemic injustice that is intentionally injurious to the under-served and disenfranchised. Hold firm to your integrity and values, as our will must be stronger than the status quo of moral corruption, we stand steadfast and will overcome.
The Gentlemen's Standard 