The Mission: The Gentlemen’s Standard is dedicated to promoting and disseminating positive media content for gentlemen of color. Utilizing style and grooming as a conduit, our objective is to present material that cultivates integrity, pride, dignity, and overall gentlemanly conduct in the community.
Daddy Diary – How Fatherhood Challenged My Masculinity While Restoring My Manhood
Regarding the everyday activities of life, more specifically fatherhood, I am rather matter of fact with my observations and narratives. I am always open and honest about fatherhood with respect to its profound impact over the last 5 years. My role and responsibilities are painfully simple: do what is right and do what is necessary. Sometimes, I am able to experience success, and other times, unfortunately, I fail. Nevertheless, I am frank about my fatherly adventures when queried. During one of these conversations, a work colleague remarked that I was a “different” type of man. At least different from the men from her generation. You understand, as a woman of a certain age, men from her generation did not carry out the parental duties that I routinely performed. Or at least that is what I was told. I always wanted to be a father actively involved in the growth and development of his children, so duties as a devoted dad didn’t seem all too odd.
Now, those parental duties include, but are not limited to: ironing school clothes, laying the kids down for sleep, packing school lunches, taking the kids to school, etc. These are not the occasional chores I discover myself immersed in, rather, these responsibilities are integral components of my daily life – normal life. Sure, balancing work and parental responsibilities is an exhaustive exercise that strains a gentleman’s resolve both mentally and physically. Nevertheless, one does what is right and what is necessary. That is what I had convinced myself to believe. Now, in some respects, I never devoted too much time & thought to gender roles of old within the family unit. That being the man is the provider and protector. Meanwhile, the woman takes care of home and the children. Nonetheless, I am not wholly immune to the societal conditioning that subconsciously molds one’s psyche and behavior regarding the subject matter in a negative.
Review – Jack Black – Protein Booster Skin Serum
God willing, I am going to be 43 years young when September arrives next month. Given my demographic, I am certainly blessed to have reached so many years thus far in my life. Now with that many years under my belt, my skin has certainly sustained a fair amount of environmental stress that accompanies the aging process. And although I can never be mistaken for an eighteen-year-old Glen Antoine Palmer, I humbly offer that I have aged well into the middle act of my lifespan. A non-smoker, I can credit good genetics along with an absence of alcohol and drug usage. Nevertheless, as beneficial as those factors are, a gentleman my age still requires assistance in the form of grooming products that mitigates the onslaught of Father Time.
“I leave you love. Love builds. It is positive and helpful. It is more beneficial than hate; injuries quickly forgotten, quickly pass away. Personally and racially, our enemies must be forgiven. Our aim must be to create a world of fellowship and justice where no man’s skin color or religion is held against him. Love thy neighbor is a precept which could transform the world if it were universally practiced. ”
– Mary McLeod Bethune
Style & Substance – J. Crew – Cashmere Cable Beanie
To be perfectly honest with the audience, I simply cannot understand how some gentlemen are capable of confronting the elements, of course referring to bone-rattling glacial winter temperatures, without dutiful protection of some form of headgear. I quietly, painfully observe my fellow gentlemen commute across frozen, urban tundras; their cranial follicles crying out for a warm, merciful intervention. Alas, toasty relief is but an unfulfilled dream of comfort. As a bald gentleman, venturing into frosty weather is definitely not – and I passionately repeat – is definitely not an option. I can vividly hear my late grandmother now: Boy, put something on that head before you catch pneumonia! Therefore, my winter wardrobe is stockpiled with the necessary accessories to combat plummeting temperatures.
To be absolutely certain, a steadfast belief in one’s abilities is an attribute the contemporary gentleman must possess, especially if he desires success in any aspect of life. Without belief, a gentleman’s talent, and the motivation to utilize it accordingly will gradually dissipate. Faith and conviction is the fountain upon which a gentleman’s confidence is based. Without it, a gentleman can never embrace risk, perform a task to the best of one’s ability, or take advantage of an opportunity. Nevertheless, carrying oneself with said confidence, absent a self-awareness of personal shortcomings or weaknesses, can erroneously lead down a path toward pride and conceit. An overestimation of oneself is a gross miscalculation that renders the gentleman oblivious to personal areas that beg identification and maturation.
Moreover, arrogance is blind to valuable, dissenting opinion and obscures contrasting perspectives. It is a dangerous preoccupation of one’s own importance and skill while devaluing other viewpoints. This unwillingness to recognize limitations, and possibly overcompensate due to personal insecurities, deprive the gentleman of meaningful introspection that shapes character and capability. Trust, a gentleman’s hubris is directly proportional to the disconnect that can exist between belief and reality. As a gentleman’s hubris swells, so does that disconnect as he becomes untethered to facts and truth. It is a delicate dance between vanity and self-assurance that must be regulated by humility, modesty, an openness to learn and willingness to admit wrongs. To be sure, a thoughtful gentleman understands that ultimately unchecked arrogance undermines credibility, hinders growth & development, and breaks trust. A thoughtful gentleman understands that cannot be his legacy.
“The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself.”
Listen Up, I Have a Story to Tell – How to Create a Winning Narrative for a Job Interview
To be absolutely certain, the most prolific hip hop artists in history display the innate ability to tell vivid stories – the art of storytelling as many call it. The Notorious B.I.G. Nas. Scarface. These artists were able to lyrically weave a tapestry of detail throughout tracks that transported the listener directly into the song. Undoubtedly, the experience leaves an indelible mark on the listener’s memory. Effectively describing the most minute facets and capturing the emotion of a situation; artful storytelling is a powerful tool that engenders engagement. That being stated, communicating an engaging story is not only a useful device in songwriting, it can also elevate a job interview above a fellow job seeker. When I have sought job opportunities, my interview style is conversational, detailed, and personal. I want the interviewer fully invested in my answers and my narrative.
And that is exactly what a candidate should be constructing – a compelling narrative; something not easily forgotten. Now, I cannot assign a hard number to the amount of job interviews that I have conducted or been involved in, but well into the hundreds is not unlikely. I have noted, over the course of many years and varying interviews, there are two distinct areas in an individual’s interview that tend to be flawed: the interviewer’s questions are not directly answered and the level of detail is severely lacking. The result is a bland, underwhelming experience that renders the interview forgettable, or alternatively, memorable due to the overall awful performance. Today, I want to offer some simple advice that may prove to be helpful while improving how you execute your interview.
Striving While Black – Navigating the Corporate World as a Gentleman of Color
I’ve been in this game for years, corporate life is an animal, it’s rules to the game, so I wrote me a manual. It’s a step by step e-booklet for you to get your job on track – not your career pushed back. Yes, the corporate world can present quite the challenge for anyone, but for the gentleman of color, this world can be an entirely different animal. And for the uninitiated, the wrong moves can render a career stuck in neutral, or worst yet, gifted a box of your belongings and shown the exit.
Trust, there will be landmines that must be expertly navigated if career success is the objective. Your patience and resolve will be tested. There are so many times you can be confused with the other black guy in the office before it starts to wear on your nerves. You can only hear black slang from 1985 resurrected in 2018 as if it is brand new so many times before you want to scream. You can only hear the expressed fear from your non-melaninated colleagues about venturing into an urban area (which they never visit anyway) before your eyes roll out of the sockets.
Never mind that you go to work everyday where a mass shooting could pop off at any moment by a disgruntled, middle-aged white male. Oh yes, I’ve had active shooter training, and law enforcement confirmed the standard profile of said gunman. You bite your tongue. You grind your teeth. But I digress, to survive the corporate office, you have to learn how the game is played. And then you must play it effectively.
The Standard #1
An honorable gentleman fully comprehends the concept of exhibiting class, sympathy, and compassion. During episodes of great tragedy or human misery, the humane gentleman believes in charity and generosity. It is second nature. The considerate gentleman does not greedily seize upon the opportunity to criticize, politicize, or monetize unfortunate realities. His moral fiber is fortified with virtue and humility. He understands that the weight of life may prove too great for some individuals to bear. Alas, he has been blessed with robust shoulders that can bear life’s burdens, and that fact is not lost on him. He is blessed to be a blessing to those in need. Because, benevolence is a character trait that is not foreign to him, nor is it casually minimized. It is far too easy, agonizingly too simple to take what life has pleasantly afforded us for granted. Sometimes, perspective becomes distorted when the lens has become clouded with prosperity. Allow your wisdom to correct your focus. Your current situation could be dramatically different-and not in a good way. Be thankful. And always remember to assist others who may be in need. It could be you that requires the empathetic generosity of a stranger one day.
“Humility. The act of possessing a modest opinion of one’s importance, understanding the complex context of life, and respecting the reality that other individuals may be better at some things than yourself.”
Lincoln Motor Company – Lincoln First Listen – Ne-Yo – Good Man