Living Your Best Life – Showing Up for Yourself
Category Archives: Best Life
Living Your Best Life – Gratification
Sure, it has been a cool commencement to the 2026 summer season, but that has not halted my adventures in the garden. As per usual, I generally opt to assemble my own potted plants. As a rule of thumb, I studiously follow the true thriller, filler, and spiller formula. The formula is a simple one. It is a method that employs the services of three plants in one pot. The thriller plant functions as the showy, focal point of the arrangement. The filler is, well, self-explanatory, as you would be correct in assuming this plant selection adds volume and fullness to the pot. The spiller plant adds a cascading effect as it pours over the sides. Now, I have experimented with a few plants over the past summers. The resulting pots have been quite nice.
This summer, I decided on the trio of begonia, coleus, and vinca vine. I got to work on a Sunday afternoon, and by the next Sunday, my pot was filling out beautifully. I am very pleased with its progress. Putting the pot together itself is a relaxing, soothing mental exercise. And I am grateful for the results born from my work. Whatever the task, I humbly suggest you identify a labor of love and leisure that elicits personal fulfillment. Most definitely, life will stress you to the point that it may leave you broken. I have learned that my gratitude must be greater than my grief. I am thankful I have found an activity that provides but a moment of reward, peace, and mental clarity. I pray you do as well.
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Living Your Best Life – Perennial Resilience
Approximately 5 years ago, I set out to address my mental health by embracing the practice of gardening. A complete novice to the hobby, I studiously absorbed articles online, diligently watched videos, and consulted with friends who also enjoyed the fulfilling practice. I completely overhauled my front yard, as I carefully selected an array of perennial flowers to reduce the yearly maintenance of replanting. My guiding principles for performing any task are governed by patience and attention to detail. And so, amongst my groups of flowers, I planted some Asiatic Lilies because I loved their vibrant color and blooms.
For years, my lilies flourished every spring and summer unscathed – until this year. To my utter dismay, I discovered my newly budding lilies chomped down to the core. I am not going to lie; it was a punch to the gut. Panicked, I scoured the Internet for possible solutions and reached out to friends for answers. The information I received varied. Depending upon the damage, either the stems would still grow or perhaps a few blooms could be coaxed out of the botanical wreckage.
Well, to my delight, my lilies have showcased their resilience and are fighting to put on their seasonal floral display. It all started 5 years ago in my garden. Meticulously plucking out stubborn weeds, replacing the dirt with new nutritious garden soil & manure, digging holes as the sun beat down on my sun hat, and dropping in my beauties with some plant food. The fountain was solid. The work was detailed and performed with patience. And despite the setback, they will be blooming in all their glory.
Sometimes in life, we will face adversity that will seemingly chew us down to the core. We may believe that we may never recover; we may never be the same person again. Well, allow my Asiatic Lilies to be a meaningful metaphor made for that moment. Because, if we have lived enough life to understand, adversity is all but guaranteed to challenge how we feel about ourselves. Nevertheless, when your foundation is strong, your core principles stout, you will always have the opportunity to reemerge victorious – perhaps even better than before. Sometimes, the setback is the setup for the comeback. I will be sure to check back when my lilies have showed up and showed out – just like you will in your personal journey.
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Living Your Best Life – Showing Up
Living Your Best Life – Resilience
Well, it would appear that Old Man Winter has relinquished his seemingly perpetual, frosty grip on the temperatures outside – at least here in Michigan. Sure, every few days, he will stage a futile resurgence with a couple of nippy days thrown into the mix, but the picture is crystal clear; spring is an inevitability. And so, on those warm days that call for appreciation of nature, the seasonal spring yard clean-up is a necessity. Now, sprucing up one’s yard involves a lot of dirty work. Dethatching the lawn, trimming back dead flowers, removing animal waste (we have a ton of deer), and pulling these gangly monstrosities (pictured above) from the surrounding area. Ah, yes, the dandelion weed. I swear, in the event of a nuclear holocaust, I declare that only roaches and these unsightly plant aliens will stubbornly survive.
This invasive weed is undeniably resilient. It can survive in poor soil, tolerate drought, resist disease, and repel pests. Notoriously hard to kill, this perennial weed has deep roots and can regrow just about anywhere with the proper seed dispersal. I hate them. They ruin the appearance of my manicured lawn with gangly tentacles stretching toward the heavens after its white puff of seeds has blown away. Nevertheless, I can’t help but respect their hardy nature. Hardy is defined as the ability to endure extreme conditions and or difficult situations.
We can all learn from this mighty weed. To be sure, life is a complex garden full of unfavorable conditions and challenging environments. However, sometimes the most painful moments and adverse conditions teach the most valuable lessons. We just need the physical, emotional, and mental hardiness to not merely survive, but to thrive. We stay stubbornly rooted in our purpose and greatness. When life seemingly cuts us down, we become renewed in strength and vitality. And lastly, we ensure the seeds of our greatness spread far and near. Well, I guess I have more in common with a weed than I previously thought. They still need to get plucked from my yard, though – no hard feelings.
Living Your Best Life – Assistance
Living Your Best Life – Guided by Purpose
To be certain, life is sometimes an uneven journey of complex experiences tenuously chained together. Given that fact, a gentleman carefully navigates his life with a purpose that governs his actions. He will thoughtfully afford the requisite time and due diligence to satisfy that purpose. Admirable as that is, however, a gentleman may err by overthinking the subject. True, a gentleman must live life with meaning and reason. Nevertheless, purpose should not be defined as some cosmic, life-altering motive for existing. A gentleman can risk searching for a purpose so profound that it inadvertently paralyzes his ability to bring meaningful value to this shared experience of life.
Certainly, having a big purpose has its place. However, sometimes, simple is best. Sometimes, a man just needs an objective – challenging, yet attainable without depleting emotional, mental, or physical inventory. It is tentatively spring here in Michigan, so my simple purpose is to tend to my yard. My hostas, salvia, bee balm, and lilies (although a rabbit snacked on one) are all springing from the ground in all their botanical glory. Purpose sometimes has a season in a gentleman’s life.
Now is the season when my garden plays a huge role in my day-to-day living. My primary job is to keep the garden thriving and vibing. Just take a look at my creeping phlox pictured above. I planted this ground cover approximately 2 years ago with the hopes of adding color and choking out nearby weeds. They were scrawny in the beginning, but some dutiful TLC has resulted in a beautiful floral display near the edges of my garden bed. Challenge: Add some purpose to your life that grants a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment. It does not need to be world-changing, but it should make you swell with pride and a sense of valuable intention.
Living Your Best Life – Success
Living Your Best Life – Watch for the Crash-Out – Slow Down, Brake for Wisdom
An intelligent gentleman understands that wisdom entails a discerning practice of collecting information while observing and understanding life experiences. Utilizing that knowledge, wisdom demands meaningful reflection followed by deliberate, calculated decision-making based on mental & emotional clarity, practicality, and well-thought conclusions. Wisdom thrives when a gentleman is devoid of self-sabotaging traits such as misguided arrogance and impulsivity. Unfortunately, wisdom is sometimes betrayed by the incontestable inexperience and volatility of youth.
This particular subject is top of mind due to the current events surrounding Jaden Ivey and his uncertain future in the National Basketball Association. Ivey was dismissed from the Chicago Bulls shortly after sharing some of his beliefs on Instagram. The purpose of this post is not to argue what is just or unjust about Ivey being waived from the team. Rather, I would like to use this event to offer practical advice to anyone that may be prone to rash decisions that lead to unexpected and unfortunate consequences. This can certainly apply to anyone, but I specifically want to speak to the young crowd today. I hope some of this information provides needed insight for someone.
- Gentlemen, listen closely, not everything is meant for public consumption. Social media has become so ingrained in today’s society that the irresistible urge to share the most personal, intimate details of our lives has become ridiculously addictive. Meta and YouTube were just recently sued and found liable for that very fact, but I digress. Stop oversharing! For example, no husband should voice grievances about his spouse or significant other online. Some things are meant to remain private, away from the prying eyes and opinions of strangers. Guys, we do not move in this manner. It is never wise to invite the world into your bedroom. The outcomes could be regretfully disastrous.
- Are you familiar with the saying “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? One’s message may indeed be reasonable, bear common sense, and grounded in truth. However, if the delivery is abrasive, confrontational, judgmental, and needlessly pushy; individuals will be turned away from your message instead of toward it. Your delivery matters. And ensure that you gather and place your thoughts in logical order. Anyone attempting to navigate a maze of incoherent rambling will find themselves lost and confused.
- A gentleman must slow down and think before he acts on matters of importance. Recalling the first bullet point, too many people rush to social media for affirmation and approval. People desperately want to feel a sense of justification and confirmation based on “likes” and comments from strangers – some with nefarious intentions. And even worse, some of the responses could be the creation of an A.I. Bot. Your mental health and well-being are potentially compromised by a non-human. No. Think before you speak or act. And honestly, you probably should not do either. People (especially our young folks) can lack the foresight, failing to identify downstream effects and ramifications.
- Similar to delivery, a gentleman should be mindful of his presentation – appearances matter. An unkempt, disheveled presentation can unfortunately undermine your credibility even if your messaging is rock solid. It’s possible you can lose the audience before you even secure their attention. And if a messy appearance is combined with an incoherent message – forget about it.
- Matters of great importance or bear the potential for serious consequences require counsel with trusted sources. Never just wing it. There are angles and blind spots that require awareness. Having a conversation with someone and hearing your words out loud can offer much-needed reflection and insight. Wisdom is procured and refined over the course of time through lived experiences, learning from others, and deep reflection. Constructive dialogue and feedback make it stronger.
Living Your Best Life
Living Your Best Life
Living Your Best Life – Appreciating the Little Things
Certainly, life can be an extended marathon complete with unexpected turns, dizzying highs, and deflating lows. Worn and weathered by the challenging journey, a gentleman must seek refuge within the shelter of self-care and wellness. A gentleman must identify and recognize the small things that bring joy and fulfillment to this existence. Because, albeit unbeknownst to him, it can be the little things that bring forth the most meaning and contentment. And trust, the return on investing in one’s own happiness is immensely invaluable. I will provide the reader a simple example. This week, I journeyed to Michaels to purchase assorted Valentine’s merchandise for my son’s classroom celebration of Cupid’s favorite day of the year.
It was no surprise that items were already on sale. To be sure, stores move swiftly between holidays to deplete old inventory to accommodate incoming merchandise – hello St. Patrick’s Day and Easter. Nevertheless, as it is still frustratingly frigid outside, it was only appropriate that Christmas items were still stocked throughout the store – of course on a very steep discount. With a discount to the tune of 70%, I briefly abandoned my mission of love to dive into some big, beautiful bargain bins, hoping to spy something unique to add to my gift-wrapping war chest. Now, if you have been following this blog, you know that I have become quite fond of wrapping gifts. Perusing the gift tags, ribbon, and wrapping paper; I spotted a container of lively jingle bells.
And so, for a mere $1.50, I was able to procure a 9-piece set of assorted, colorful bells to add to the collection of Christmas complements. Looking at the vivid bells through the clear plastic container, my mind began to race through creative ideas for Christmas 2026. The smile inside me was unapologetically broad. The time I will spend pairing and threading colored twine through bells as I wrap a fanciful bow is reserved strictly for my peace of mind. It is reserved for my creative impulses. It is reserved for the joy and satisfaction I feel when look at the finished work, selfishly not wanting it to ever be untied. Joy. Peace. Fulfillment. All for the low, low price of $1.50 and a bit of quiet time to myself. What are the little things that bring you happiness? What the small things that afford you peace and satisfaction? You are worth investing in you. Stayed tuned for Christmas 2026. Too soon?
Living Your Best Life
Living Your Best Life
Living Your Best Life – Your Own Race to Run
In this sacred, shared experience that we define as life, a gentleman must recognize that the journey is a marathon, not a sprint. A gentleman must honor and respect the speed of his own lane. A gentleman must traverse his own unique course. He should not be persuaded to hastily navigate a path not properly aligned for his capabilities, principles, or purpose. Therefore, beware of the poseur who offers unwise counsel at your own personal peril. This includes the Internet influencers who identify individuals isolated in insecurity & ignorance. Utilizing sly manipulation, they marginalize the self-esteem and confidence of the very audience they claim to help.
Whether politician or podcaster, the presentation is primarily performative, a pathetic ploy to position the pretender as a paragon of power. Pain promotes the potential for profit. Misery is marketed for monetization. They establish the finish line, and they direct your movements to their desired outcome. Do not be hurried into decisions that are not your own. Do not be moved into a mindset where seeds of discontent are sown. Allow yourself forgiveness. Allow yourself grace. Allow yourself time to learn from life’s mistakes. And most important of all, run your own race at your decided pace.
The Gentlemen's Standard 