Tag Archives: Gentleman

Weight No Longer – The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly During My Weight Loss Journey

February 22, 2025 By in Culture Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Well gentlemen, this was undoubtedly the lowest that my confidence had quietly plummeted. My self-esteem careened wildly over a cliff and exploded into an internal inferno within my heart. I was better than the man I recognized in the mirror with unfamiliarity. And yet, ironically in cruel fashion with the picture on the left, the requirement to employ a waistband extender to my slacks was not sufficient enough to spur an epiphany about my weight – I was dangerously overweight. I betrayed my body, and in turn my body was betraying me. Mysterious aches would greet me in the morning as I rose out of bed. I began to shy away from taking photographs. I was not inspired to attend events because I understood I would most likely need new, larger clothing. Because, sadly embarrassingly, I could no longer fit my old stylish threads. Fortunately, it took an unfortunate medical emergency during the summer of 2023 to kickstart my weight loss. My cardiologist was very blunt with his assessment: My life would most likely be cut short if I did not make the necessary health changes. To be sure, the journey has been challenging, but here I stand at 196 pounds after topping out at an unbelievable 315 pounds. I will most likely write about how I did it in a subsequent blog post. Today, however, I wanted to highlight the good, the bad, and the ugly along the way. Because, and the Lord knows it true, it was not easy.

The Ugly

  • A gentleman will soon realize that not everyone will be on board with the weight loss. Disclaimer, this is my personal account, so I want to be fully transparent. I have not had bariatric surgery, nor do I use GLP-1 drugs such as Ozempic or Wegovy. However, I have noticed a not so quiet criticism of individuals that do utilize such agents as a way to discredit or undermine their weight loss. Personally, I have been on the weight loss grind by walking, strength training, intermittent fasting, and eating healthier. That is what works best for me. If you are on a similar grind, some people may accuse you of employing the aforementioned weight loss methods. And that is between you, your family, and physician if that is case. Otherwise, just keep grinding and ignore the accusations. People can be seriously coldhearted nowadays, and if you are on a journey that is already taxing on your mind, body, & spirit; it’s important you surround yourself with positivity and well-intended support.

The Bad

  • Now, losing over 100 pounds has taken an insane amount of discipline. As an ardent lover of sweets, people just don’t realize how easy it is to go over the edge and spiral into indulgence. Sure, it may be easy for you to practice moderation, but for me it is eerily similar to an addict with sugar being my drug of choice. There is a reason why I ballooned to 315 pounds. A typical day could consist of a McDonald’s Big Breakfast with hotcakes and orange juice, Domino’s Garlic Parmesan Wings with Bacon & Jalapeno Stuffed Cheesy Bread for lunch, and a Beef Chalupa Supreme combination (soft taco & soft drink) with a Beans & Rice Burrito from Taco Bell to end the day. And that doesn’t include random treats during the day (Twinkies, sweet potato pie, chocolate brownies, donuts, chocolate cheesecake, etc.) and beverages (Gatorade, lemonade, grape juice, Pepsi, and Orange Sunkist). It’s really quite embarrassing to type that out for all to see. However, I need to convey that the struggle is quite real.  So, sometimes I cannot approach food with half-measures. A cheat day here, a cheat day there, a day off from the gym here, or a day off there can snowball into an avalanche fast. So, the involuntary side-eyes I receive when I am trying to make better choices or abstain from certain food choices can be a little irritating. You can feel the eyes zeroing in on your plate while you’re just minding your own business. People may caution you against becoming too small, and their heart may be in the right place, but the reality is they are probably just accustomed to seeing you overweight. Honestly, being “too small” is most likely the equivalent to just being a normal size – at least for me.
  • So, to reiterate, the self-discipline to do what it takes to lose weight will be off the charts. I mean, chocolate Twinkies are SO TASTY. Losing weight will require you to eat smaller meals and walking away from, albeit delicious, unhealthy sugar & fats. It will require going to the gym or walking when lounging on the couch feels so much better. You WILL get cravings. My gym is across the parking lot from JJ Fish & Chicken, and that aroma cascading through the air hits my nostrils like a savory sledgehammer. Fast food commercials will make your eyes widen and mouth water because McDonald’s is offering a double Fish Filet akin to a Big Mac or KFC’s newest monstrosity bowl of mashed potatoes, chicken, corn, and cheese sounds nauseatingly tempting. It requires staying the course when EVERYTHING you have done hits a plateau and your weight either does not budge or worst yet – even increases! Oh my, the times I wanted to say screw it and throw down with some warm chocolate brownies and French vanilla ice cream. You have to stay the course because…

The Good!

  • If I can stereotype men for a moment, we can become obsessed with performance. Be it competitive sports or any kind of competition for that matter, job responsibilities, or even in the arena of intimacy – we want, no, we need to perform our best. So, when a gentleman abuses his body in such a way that I did, ultimately performance in those arenas may suffer. Since losing a considerable amount of weight, I no longer wake up with aches and pains that I deceivingly blamed on aging. I no longer become winded during minor exertion such as walking up stairs. And for gentlemen of a certain age – listen closely because I am 48 years old – I am not proclaiming 20-year-old Dirk Diggler type performances, but strength training, walking, and eating right has done wonders for my stamina and fitness.
  • Also, my clothing just hits differently now. Never underestimate the power that a well put together outfit can do for confidence and self-esteem. I went to get myself measured by a tailor because I had not done so in many years. I was shocked at the measurements. My neck size decreased from 17.5 to 16. My waist decreased from 44 to 38. My suit jacket decreased from a 50R/50L to a 44R/44L – although a 46R/46L would probably be most comfortable. When the salesperson suggested a slim cut dress shirt to gauge the right fit, I immediately thought: No way I am getting into a slim cut dress shirt with a 16-inch collar. As soon as I saw myself in the mirror, I asked if I could go take a few pictures (above on the right) of myself. I could not believe my eyes! Gents, I am not ashamed to admit, I damn near cried during the car ride home. The personal accomplishment, the happiness was too real.
  • Now, let’s talk numbers, because true to form, it’s what on the inside that counts. During my checkup with my cardiologist, my vitals were as follows: blood pressure 110/77, total cholesterol reduced from 277 mg to 121 mg, LDL reduced from 219 mg to 77 mg, triglycerides reduced from 163 mg to 43 mg, and hemoglobin A1c reduced from 9.4 to 6.4. My HDL needs to be around 60 mg (mine was 43 mg), but my “bad” cholesterol numbers were great. Disclaimer: Due to bad genetics, I am on a statin. I have a rendezvous with my cardiologist and primary care physician in July. I cannot wait to show them all my hard work is continuing to pay dividends! And now, off to the gym I go!

Matters of the Heart – The Faithful Day That Compelled Me to Adopt a Healthier Lifestyle and Lose Weight

June 29, 2024 By in Life Tags: , , , 1 Comment

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Honestly, I do not know where to start this particular post as I look at the split photograph above. The contrast is visible jarring. It has definitely been quite the journey. I will be soon approaching the anniversary of a serious health scare that landed me in the hospital approximately a year ago. One summer evening, I was tirelessly working in the backyard when I encountered some stubborn weeds – burdock weeds to be exact. They were ridiculously humongous, and unbeknownst to me, their roots were insanely deep. With a bit of elbow grease, I surmised I could rip these unsightly, unwelcome visitors from the soil. However, they were embedded in the ground mightily, and with each Herculean yank, a piece of my soul seemingly left my body. I cannot recall how many weeds I was able to free from the ground, but I decided to call it an evening as it progressively became darker outside. We have been known to have rogue coyotes prance through backyards at night, and I seriously did not want a close encounter of the unwanted kind.

Physically exhausted, I sluggishly retreated to my couch to play some World War Z Aftermath on the PS5 to relax. However, I felt an uncomfortable heaviness in my chest. Now, it was not painful, it was just an irritating pressure that would not subside. I thought perhaps it was gas and I needed a vigorous belch. I tried to get comfortable, but I just could not find a cozy position. Frustrated, I then retreated to the bedroom to sleep it off – maybe I strained a pectoral muscle with all the previous tugging. Still, I could not find a comfortable position. I tossed. I turned, but nothing helped. Now my mind was racing to worse case scenarios. I have a history of cardiovascular disease in my family with more than a few deaths due to heart attack or stroke. Taking my age, family history, and physical shape into account; I decided now was not the time to be too proud and ignore any warning signs.

Admittedly, my next series of actions were questionable. I prepared my kid’s lunches for the following morning (it was between 1 a.m. & 2 a.m. I think), woke my wife up to explain the situation, and then drove myself to the emergency room. Okay – you can let me have it in the comment section. However, I truly did not feel as if I was in any medical distress. Once I was settled in the emergency room; all of the preliminary tests (EKG & bloodwork to detect markers for a heart attack) were fine. The nurse thought I’d be going home in the next few hours. Great, I would be back home to get breakfast started and see the kids off to school. Nope. Big nope. The on-call physician wanted more tests. After being tortured by the ER nurse who could not find a vein, I settled into my ER bed quite angry. Sidenote: If a nurse needs a vein finder thingy doohickie to locate your veins – ask for another nurse. I have never experienced that much pain in my life as a needle was jammed into my arm in a desperate attempt to start an IV. I’m a nice chocolate gentleman, but I can still see a faint bruise at the insertion site to this day. Thanks Stephen.

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Due to family history and my symptoms, the on-call physician wanted to examine me further before releasing me home. And so, I was wheeled away for a CTA (computed tomography angiography) to determine any funny business going on within my arteries. The results: 50-70% blockage in one of my coronary arteries. WTF?! I swear I cried for an hour straight. I stent was in my future. My mind was racing. I needed to see my children. I needed to be home. WTF?! Making calls to my wife and family were devastating. I had NEVER been hospitalized EVER. So now was the waiting game. I had to be admitted and I had to be scheduled for a cardiac catheterization to determine the best approach for stenting. The next day or so was tense. I was very much afraid. I was also deeply disappointed in myself for putting my loved ones through so much worry.

The procedure itself was a breeze. I was placed under mild sedation and given a local anesthetic; it lasted perhaps 20 minutes. I was a little loopy, but I could hear my cardiologist speaking with the nurses in the room. A miracle. I could hear him tell the room that the blockage was not bad, and a stent was not required. The blockage was more around 30% instead of the initial findings. I was overjoyed. And then my cardiologist had a frank conversation with me. I needed a lifestyle change, or next time, there would be no next time. My cholesterol was sky high, and so was my blood sugar. I never weighed myself at home. So, when the nurse wrote 139 kg on the white board inside my patient room, I was curious regarding what that equated to in pounds. Well, it converts to 307 pounds. WTF?!

The patient in the adjacent bed clocked in at around 500 pounds. He had severe sleep apnea, so he would wake up screaming when he stopped breathing. He vomited in the bed. Somehow, he yanked his IV line out and bled all over the sheets. Due to his size and inability to be mobile, he had to urinate in a basin. I could not sleep. I asked the charge nurse to pretty please change my room. However, the remaining rooms had all female occupants. And the last room had a single that was prone to violence. So, the choices were waking up to a crazed patient trying to kill me or stay with the pleasant sounds of screaming, snoring, vomiting, and peeing. I slept as best I could with headphones. Talk about a medical version of Scared Straight. I resigned myself to change.

Now, I will probably write another post regarding how I landed at my current weight – 214 pounds. Yes, I have lost over 90 pounds in a little less than a year. It has not been easy – not at all. The first glance at the gym mirror was so depressing. How did I allow myself to get this way? Losing weight felt like an impossible task. Nevertheless, we all have to start somewhere. I went on Amazon and bought a bevy of shirts to psyche myself up for each gym session. Thus far, I have reduced my blood sugar (back to recommended levels) without the aid of medication, reduce my cholesterol (still need meds because of these damn genetics), increase my overall energy, and look good in my suits again! It has been a struggle of a journey. But I’m still here y’all. And hopefully I can stick around a little while longer.

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What I Am Rocking Nowadays – Brooks Brothers Henry the Sheep Graphic Sweatshirt

February 24, 2024 By in Life, Style & Substance, What I'm Wearing Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

wp-17038147131765754874386596539114Nowadays, this is what life as a father looks like for me. I am a gentleman of a certain age and grace that now resides in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. My beard is markedly adorned with dignified speckles of white and grey now. My woeful hairline retreated from battle decades ago. My children are growing older now, and Father Time did not sit idly by on my behalf. School events are becoming plentiful, and it is important a father attempt to attend as many as humanly possible. Therefore, school events beg for a presentation from a gentleman that looks the part of a parent. I have always reasoned with myself that I would not be the guy in his 40s foolishly attempting to look like a guy in his 20s. Hello Cliff Huxtable sweaters. Now, I was able to purchase this graphic fleece sweatshirt from Brooks Brothers on a substantial seasonal sale. The goal was to juxtapose a lighthearted, fashionable centerpiece with my otherwise serious demeanor.

An unserious, quirky sweatshirt; I have been able to rediscover and renew my creative personality traits after shedding over 70 pounds. I had a serious health scare back in July 2023, and I have been on the challenging road to improve my health. I will probably write about the experience in later posts. For now, I am enjoying clothing again and expressing my personality through my personal style. Layered over a button up shirt, this sweatshirt was definitely a conversation starter. I signed up to volunteer at my daughter’s school’s open house, and my Henry the Sheep top elicited a lot of compliments and questions. I paired the top with some Mugsy jeans, a Paul Stuart corduroy cap, and Sperry boots – all items middle-aged father approved. I have a few more sweaters I am waiting to rock in the future, and it appears the weather is going to present ample opportunities to sport them. Now, these types of sweaters are definitely not for everyone. You cannot take yourself too seriously, and you need to come to terms with an advancing age that pleads for suitable attire. I’m good on both accounts.

Living Your Best Life – Giving It the Best That You Got – Finding Joy

December 28, 2023 By in Life Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

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An important component to parenting is the level of effort one expends to be engaged with one’s offspring. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked why I took the time to wrap Christmas gifts in such a fancy manner. Ultimately, the gift wrap would be hastily torn to shreds anyway. He did not really understand the reason for it all. And that is a fair question to pose. Well, there are two primary reasons why I decide to take the time to gift wrap items with a little extra flair. Now, it may be a cliche sentiment, but it really is the thought that matters. Somewhere in my children’s subconscious thoughts, I hope they are developing a deep appreciation and thankfulness for their father’s engagement. Years and years from now, it is my hope that I have created special memories they can recall when they are older. I want them to remember that during their formative childhood years; their father was an involved father. I feel overwhelming pride knowing that I am trying my best.

wp-17037497823152356965055761133696So, sure the little ones (I suppose they are not so little now) tear through their gifts like Tasmanian devils, but it well worth the effort to have a beautiful Christmas tree presentation with a colorful medley of decorative gifts underneath. My son even tagged along with me as we visited Michaels and Target to procure the necessary items to create a Palmer Winter Wonderland in the house. Hopefully, he is learning some lessons along the way. We did not purchase anything too ornate or spectacular, but the purchases enhanced the holiday spirit around the house.

wp-17037497826143480946093318733622The secondary reason for going the extra mile with gift wrapping affects me directly. Given that I do not have any harmful vices that would produce pleasure, but are nonetheless destructive, I am left to seek out positive outlets to trigger beneficial dopamine releases. Dopamine is an organic chemical that affects areas of the brain associated with temporary feelings of satisfaction, motivation, pleasure, and happiness. Therefore, it is common to find me in the yard during the summer tending to the family garden and mowing the lawn. The reward for the fruits of my labor is a great sense of accomplishment and pride. I never thought I would be that guy, but spending time out with nature and nurturing plant life is truly rewarding. Nowadays, I am always on the lookout for a project that elicits some inkling of happiness. 

wp-17037962854744167442503024111754Honestly, I would be dishonest if I said every aspect of my life was perfect and happy. No, unfortunately, that is simply not the case. Life can be indiscriminately unforgiving. Some days are really challenging. So, I wholeheartedly try to utilize every tool in my well-being toolbox to achieve as much balance as possible. The present above is one that really brought a smile to my face. The wrapping paper was heavier than the normal, standard variety one would purchase. The grayish blue surface was speckled with a glitter-like, grainy touch. It almost has a shimmer to it. It was simple, yet elegant. I used some excess paper to make a little bow which I affixed to the box with rustic piece of Christmas twine and bell. It’s amazing the sense of peace I feel as I fold, cut, tie, and tape my way to a finished project. I was really pleased with the results, and every time I saw it underneath the tree, I smiled inside with warm pride.

  • Gentlemen’s Best Life Challenge #1 – Identify an activity that engages and brings happiness to the life of another person(s). 
  • Gentlemen’s Best Life Challenge #2 – Identify an activity that brings personal contentment and a sense of accomplishment with yourself.

 

 

The Standard #60

October 21, 2023 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

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On the arduous, sometimes uneven path of a gentleman’s life, it is paramount to remain firmly grounded in gratitude. Trust and truly believe: Tribulation must be tempered by sincere thankfulness. Afterall, life’s journey can be wrought with pain, sadness, and an uncertainty that can methodically erode one’s spirit – if one’s fortitude lacks the necessary strength to allow it. Now, it is important to be mindful that during this continuous journey, a gentleman’s thoughts become a loyal, steadfast companion. And when adversity wounds the spirit, those thoughts stubbornly can bind to mental and emotional hurt. It is an unhealthy marriage of pain and familiarity.

Because, when hurt is intense and intimate, sometimes we subconsciously cling to events that aggrieve us the most. It is a perplexing, discomforting comfort. However, preoccupation with past pain can prohibit a productive future and preclude a pleasing present. Life is too important, too deceivingly fleeting to sacrifice energy on the altar of regret and woe. The blessings of today beg much-required attention. Today, compile a list of things/events that require praise and thanks. And so, when life presents challenges or your thoughts drift away to revisit sadness, refer to your list to offer levity, clarity, and balance. Lift up your heart with graciousness and celebrate the life you deserve.

Black Thought

November 26, 2019 By in Black Thought Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

“The rich man who achieves a degree of greatness achieves it not because he hoards his wealth, but because he gives it away in the interest of good causes.”

-Benjamin Mays

A thoughtful gentleman clearly understands that his blessings are not of his own. His success is not a singular possession that lays clenched in miserly hands. He logically comprehends that he cannot exist as an insular entity-isolated from his community. No, his true greatness is predicated on charity and service to his community. His wealth, not necessarily in monetary terms, must be distributed to those who would definitely benefit the most. Blessed to be a blessing, a gentleman enjoys watching others thrive and succeed. He possesses no stock in watching others fail. Succeed as a collective, or fail separately. The choice is clear. It is imperative to use one’s wealth of knowledge, or wealth of finance to better those around you. Pay good fortune forward. Tutor. Volunteer. Donate some business clothes to someone in need. Today, someone is in need of your help. Heed the call. Give back!

Style & Substance – Cremo – Premium Boar Bristle Beard Brush

November 25, 2019 By in Grooming, Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , ,

As I am currently growing my beard long for the winter – Sons of Anarchy style – it was a prime time to search the market for a proper beard brush. My facial hair has the tendency to get wild and woolly, so the need for an appropriate grooming tool to keep my growth in check is a top priority. Aside from the desire for a neat appearance, I also have a bad habit of tugging the hairs on my beard the thicker it grows. My wife absolutely hates it. I already own a few beard combs to deter this compulsion, but unfortunately, they leave a graveyard of tiny hairs in the surrounding area. Therefore, I resolved myself to hunt for a beard brush, and I was elated to discover one at my preferred retail location for home goods – Target (pronounced Tar-jay). Available for a shade under $10.00, the Cremo Premium Boar Bristle Beard Brush is the perfect grooming companion for the discerning, bearded gentleman. Compact with a sturdy wooden handle, the stiff boar hair bristles are rugged enough to smooth and detangle my beard without leaving hair everywhere. However, it is not so stiff that it is abrasive to one’s skin. I also like the small size because it travels well without being a chore to carry on your person. It keeps wayward strands of hair in check for a tidy appearance, and it satisfies my urge to tug at it and leave unsightly patches. Definitely worth the $10.00 price-tag.

Gentlemen’s Review – Paco Rabanne – Invictus

November 19, 2019 By in Review Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve read the reviews online – the good, the bad, and the indifferent. And my conclusion was not a surprising one. Paco Rabanne Invictus is, without a shred of doubt, a polarizing scent. Not exactly sophisticated or intricate, it is a fun scent nonetheless. Perhaps the ubiquitous nature of its smell is what draws so much discontent. The notes have a common and familiar feel to them, nothing really stands out. Now, there is a saying: You can’t judge a book by its cover. Well, I was judging Invictus by its cologne flask. Opportunities have presented themselves many times for me to sample Invictus, but the presentation struck me as gaudy. Therefore, I associated tackiness with the potential of a cheap scent. Until finally, I surrendered and decided to give Invictus an honest assessment. Love it or hate it. Check out the details below.

Observations

Top Notes: Mandarin Orange, Grapefruit, Sea Notes

Middle Notes: Jasmine, Bay Leaf

Base Notes: Patchouli, Guaiac Wood, Oak Moss, Ambergris

  • The presentation of Invictus is, well, quite flamboyant. In Latin, Invictus means undefeated. Drawing inspiration from that translation, the flask is fashioned in the shape of a trophy. I cannot state that I am thrilled with the design, as I prefer a cologne bottle not be a showpiece. Nevertheless, evidently, the intent of the flask is to make a statement. Mission accomplished. The cologne is dispensed by pressing a button centered on the top of the bottle. The projection is forceful and distribution is even. Don’t go too crazy – more on that below.
  • As many people will attest, the top and middle notes of Invictus are notably sweet. Some gentlemen may fiercely argue too sweet. If you are searching for a cologne that boasts a complexity of layered notes, Invictus is not for you. Fresh and citrusy sweet, Invictus starts strong and does not lose momentum until many hours later. It’s simple and straightforward; maybe a little too generic, but it performs well. I actually prefer the dry-down because the sweetness mellows out a bit. Personally, I don’t detect any strong woody notes at the end, but it does lean on the slightly spicy and floral spectrum.
  • This fragrance can be worn casually during the daytime or evening. If you operate within a casual work environment, it may work there as well. I strongly advise 3-4 applications around the neck/shoulder area and abdomen. I will caution again, do not go overboard with your applications. This is a strong cologne.
  • Paco Rabanne Invictus is intended for the gentleman that prefers a casual, sweet, and aromatic fragrance. There isn’t anything groundbreaking here, but a gentleman will benefit from a workhorse cologne that will deliver 8 hours or more of performance. I applied a few spritzes after a late-night shower and my wife loved it. In a strange way, I could almost categorize this cologne as unisex. Perhaps that is why she was drawn to it, as it was something she could probably wear herself. That may deter some gentlemen, but that should not be a dealbreaker. Trust me, you won’t smell like a woman.
  • Paco Rabanne Invictus can be purchased in the following sizes: 1.7 ounces at $70.00 or 3.4 ounces at $90.00 – Available at Macy’s, Nordstrom, Sephora, Ulta, and other fine men’s department stores.
Gentlemen’s Standard Approved
Disclosure: TGS was not financially compensated for this post. Item was purchased for personal use. The opinions expressed are completely my own based on my experience.

Gentlemen’s Review – Tommy Bahama – Tommy Bahama Compass

June 10, 2014 By in Review Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

Tommy Bahama CompassIt has been quite the busy month here at The Gentlemen’s Standard. I have been blessed with the opportunity to examine a bevy of products and offer personal insight to the reading audience. It has definitely presented a challenge, as the luxury of time is scarce nowadays, but I am extremely thankful nonetheless. Now, today we are evaluating another fragrance that perfectly complements the progression of warmer temperatures. Allow me to frame the picture for the audience: cream linen suit, open collar dress shirt, brown loafers – no socks, and a Panama hat. That is what I envisioned upon my initial introduction to Tommy Bahama Compass. This looked like a bottle that should be sitting on top of a sharp gent’s dresser while getting attired. Flipping open the top (an interesting feature) of the diamond-shaped bottle, I was wondering if this current offering compared favorably to a previous favorite of mine – Tommy Bahama for Men. Well, let us take a gander.

Observations

Top Notes: Lemon, Grapefruit, Violet

Middle Notes: Pimento Lavender, Clary Sage

Base Notes: Cedarwood, Amber Gris, Tonka Bean, Cistus

First impressions: The fragrance is resolutely smooth and effortless. Of all three notes, none overly dominates the other. Each note cascades into the following note quietly and discreetly. This is not a fragrance that is going to commence with an abundance of loudness, rather, this is a scent formulated for more intimate quarters. So, due to its distinct lightness, a gentleman does not have to be bashful with its application. However, it is still advised that one should not bathe in it either. Depending on your preference and body chemistry, I would guess 4 sprays from the nozzle should suffice.

Tommy Bahama Compass appears to best worn indoors during the daytime. Standout notes include lemon, grapefruit, and lavender. And no, the smell is not too feminine, just soft and pleasant. The ending notes definitely won’t go unnoticed, but they won’t be in your face either. If the affair is mellow and relaxed, this may be the summer cologne for you. This scent will not go unappreciated indoors. It can probably work outside as well, but you may want to apply just a touch more if that is the case. And even with an additional spritz or so, the scent is so light, you won’t have to worry about burning nearby nostrils. This is a sure thumbs up for the summer.

Tommy Bahama 1.7 oz  $54.00 or 3.4 oz $69.00 – Available at Tommy Bahama, Macy’s, Dillards, Lord & Taylor or any fine men’s department store

Gentlemen’s Standard Approved

Disclosure: TGS was not financially compensated for this post. I received a sample for review purposes only. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.

Standard Recommendations – Forsyth of Canada Neckties

October 17, 2013 By in Recommendations Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

Forsyth 2Contrary to popular belief, a good gentleman’s necktie does not have to be terribly expensive. Nor are they mandated to bear the name of an esteemed luxury brand. Trust, many quality neckties fly silently under the radar, as they are overshadowed by larger companies with better advertising and wider distribution. True, material and construction are key components that should not be ignored, and both components ultimately determine the asking price by the designer. So, it is not unlikely to encounter a necktie that is well above the $200.00 mark.

Nevertheless, there is level of diminishing returns as one pays more and more for a necktie. Sure, an expensive necktie may knot better and drape better than most economy level neckties. And some individuals may even try to shame you for wearing one that costs less than most affluent brands. But that is just silly. For an average gentleman, neckties that clock in at the price of a car payment is not sensible. If you want to treat yourself every now and again – go for it. However, if you plan on paying $200.00 per necktie on the regular, then prepare to have 5 neckties in your closet – maximum.

Now, I am not a devout follower of any particular brand, as I am willing to give any company a legitimate chance. And so on a shopping excursion at the mall, I discovered Forsyth of Canada wool neckties. They were pretty impressive. Beautiful patterns. Great weight and thickness. Soft, yet incredibly resilient. And the price was respectable, retailing at approximately $60.00 – a fair asking price for a quality wool necktie. The department store of choice was Lord and Taylor, so they were pleasantly on sale. Combined with an online coupon for 15 percent off (almost always available on their website), the retail price was effectively reduced to around the $25.00 mark. So, as you can see, a gentleman can score a well-made, stylish necktie at a very affordable price.

If you are in the market for a few new neckties, I humbly suggest you check out Forsyth of Canada, as they are high quality and reasonably priced. Von Maur and Lord & Taylor carry a variety of selections, so I suggest you begin your search there. Lord & Taylor in particular has what seems like a perpetual sale going on, and combined with an online coupon that you can either print or use on the website, the savings can be substantial. Happy shopping gents.

The Gentlemen’s Ten – Suit Yourself – Details Every Gent Should Know About His Suit

October 4, 2013 By in Gent Ten Tags: , , , 1 Comment

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For seemingly decade after decade, wayward gentlemen of color have haphazardly eschewed clothing measurements that constitute the stark divide between stylish and slovenly. And nothing illustrates this point more than an ill-fitting, badly tailored suit. Baggy, shapeless silhouettes have long dominated the sartorial landscape in the urban theater, but thankfully, more gentlemen are starting to favor more streamlined proportions – and we are not talking obnoxiously skinny suits either. No, we are referring to suits that fit you and only you! Here are a few words on proportion, fit, maintenance, and everything in between that will assist you in looking your best. Continue reading →

Black Thought

September 28, 2013 By in Black Thought Tags: , 1 Comment

james baldwin 2“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

James Baldwin

The knowledgeable gentleman is reconciled with the reality that anything worth the attempt of transforming could ultimately result in failure. Nevertheless, the very real possibility of failure does not deter or dissuade him from focusing his efforts to bring about change. He understands that change is not fully realized when absent an active catalyst. Please note: Fruitful, bountiful harvests are not born to barren soil. Work must be done. And so, if a gentleman desires to see a difference, he must ultimately commit himself to making a difference. A gentleman must steel his resolve and confront what needs to be confronted, failure be damned. So, the question for you is: What do you want to see changed, and just exactly what are you doing about it?

Sounds of Blackness – The Whispers – In The Mood

July 10, 2013 By in Uncategorized Tags: , , , Leave a comment


I am not exactly sure of the precise moment; that moment when popular mainstream rhythm and blues became crude and crass. Lyrics that once championed affection, devotion, and good old-fashioned intimacy have been supplanted by sexual vulgarity masquerading as love. And I cannot, at least totally, berate the youth today for their selection of music. Not when they are presented with images of rap & blues crooner Drake on the cover of Gentleman’s Quarterly, and with the media constantly anointing dubious celebrity figures as role models. Seems like today, one has to exhibit an offensive, coarse attitude and demeanor to be a contemporary gentleman. Seriously, men, do you really want another man referring to a female family member as a bitch/hoe and holding aspirations of “beating that up”? That being said, please disabuse yourself from the sad reality that is the current state of rhythm and blues. A gentleman can still be rakishly charming, unabashedly sexy, and effortlessly smooth  – without calling a woman out of her name in the process. Fact: Being a gentleman is not mutually exclusive with being boring. And so, I remind the audience today, with the help of The Whispers, that there are gentlemen still in existence that believe in proper manners, treating a lady respectfully, and loving her as she deserves. Trust me, every lady wants that.

The Standard #19

November 12, 2012 By in Standard Tags: Leave a comment

The sharply styled, contemporary gentleman is fully cognizant of his immediate surroundings. He surveys the landscape around him and makes intelligent sartorial decisions. Once assigning himself to the notion that people do not notice what you are wearing, this gentleman has experienced a maturation process that speaks quite to the contrary. He is wiser and more seasoned now. He understands that people will take a snap mental inventory of his presentation. One’s appearance can be a subtle indicator of social status and character. Yes, your attire is a non-verbal form of communication; your clothes articulate a message and people readily listen.

Well, who comprises the audience that is so attentive observant? Your current or potential employer certainly notices. Man is not judged by resume alone. No. Sophisticated attire could be that extra 10 percent you require to differentiate yourself from the next applicant. In this economy, you might need it. Your first impression should be a lasting impression.

Speaking of impressions, observe your lovely lady’s eyes widen and the corners of her mouth curl into a sly smile when she sees your effortless elegance. Yes indeed, every woman loves a sharp dressed man; never underestimate that fact. Ponder the impression you leave on the youth and especially your own children when they absorb the gentleman’s confidence and class.

There is power in your presence, wield it wisely. Your peers even record mental notes. Please. Men are all about competition. Females usually take flack for their ritualistic judgment of each other, but do not be fooled; men want to bring sartorial A game to the table too. We are just a little more disguised with our attitude. We attempt to act like we don’t care, but we do. Employer. Spouse. Co-worker. Sibling. Son. Daughter. No matter the person, recognize that they recognize what your style articulates about you. Dignified. Confident. Masculine. Intelligent. Trustworthy. Definite characteristics the contemporary gentleman should exude.

Style & Substance – The Wool Necktie

November 8, 2012 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , Leave a comment

Stylishly inconspicuous. Fashionably unobtrusive. Quietly entering the room, its presence is announced by its reserved elegance. Sometimes in a gentleman’s life, he is required to exude a sober & restrained presentation. The solid wool necktie is there for his assistance. Set against the background of an immaculate white dress shirt, the gentleman displays great grace and aplomb in his excellent execution of elegance. And given the eventual transition into autumn and winter, neckties arriving in wool are an intelligent choice. Wool provides some serious visual depth to the usual dress shirt & necktie combination. Don’t worry about any difficulty knotting your necktie either. Given wool has exceptional resilience, knotting a perfect four-in-hand is quite easy. And the fabric returns to its original shape just fine. Opt for dark hues such as navy, brown, or gray. Pair with a fine merino sweater or tweed sport coat for a discreetly handsome ensemble. Every gentleman’s closet should maintain a few in circulation. You won’t be sorry.