The Standard #29

June 13, 2025 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

Humility. The intentional act of possessing a modest opinion of one’s importance and practicing an honest self-awareness of one’s abilities. The gentleman understands the complexities of life and accepts the reality that other individuals may excel in areas he may not. Humility also demands a quiet acknowledgement of one’s strengths while resisting the desire to judge, belittle, or disparage others. To be sure, humility demands thought and responsibility. A gentleman should not be influenced by the wayward musings of individuals intoxicated by the arrogance of their own ignorance. So enamored by their perceived greatness; said individuals cannot fathom or recognize the potential shortcomings of self.

However, in the governance of life, a gentleman must be cognizant of faults and limitations. And there is absolutely no shame in that. One must understand that embracing humility does not make one weak. On the contrary, humility projects a quiet and admirable strength. It is the resolute confidence of oneself absent vanity that keeps you grounded. It keeps you focused on the more important things in life, and not a preoccupation with self-aggrandizement. The folly of arrogance is an exercise for fools. Just keep living and life will eventually happen to you. And life can be the greatest administrator of humility. Recognize your position in life, and even if your station ranks well above others, discipline yourself in humility. A humble gentleman is a paragon of inspiration, encouragement, and is wholly faithful to serving his fellow man.

Daddy Diary – Oh, What, Wow – He’s the Greatest Dancer (That Never Got the Chance to Dance)

June 11, 2025 By in Daddy Diary Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

So, it is safe to classify the following circumstances as a forgivable miss by good old Dad here. The evening event was advertised as a school dance. It was simple enough. Now, perhaps, I did not carefully read the information contained in the school e-mail as required. Perhaps, I was too excited to embarrass my child on the dance floor with the old man cutting a rug. Nonetheless, I obviously overlooked the fine print regarding the dress code for the evening event. And nowadays, I admittedly embrace the opportunity to slide into stylish threads given the years spent hiding in oversized clothing.

And so, about a month prior to the dance, lessons commenced in the family room to correct my daughter’s two left feet. I carefully curated songs from the 80s and 90s to serve up the appropriate vibe. Once we mastered the simple two step as our foundation, we were good to go. Next, I accepted the mission of procuring outfits for us both with hues of pink and purple as our core colors. I found a cute dress for my daughter at Von Maur. I procured accompanying stockings and shoes from Target. With the school dance one month away, we were ready to show up and show out. Imagine my shock as we pulled into the parking lot; kids were dressed to impress in tee shirts, shorts, and jogging pants.

With exasperation, Ava sighed, “We were supposed to be dressed for a neon lights party.” In other words, this was not the glitzy, formal affair that I envisioned in my bald cranium. Nevertheless, I reassured Ava that without any doubt, we would be the best dressed tandem at the dance. She could still accessorize her outfit with neon paraphernalia and still embody the central theme for the night. We walked past a few parents I recognized, as they chuckled at my newcomer mistake, and they confirmed that this was a dance truly for the kids. However, that irony was not lost on me because this was anything but a dance. 

To utilize the word dance to describe the event would be to use the word dance loosely. Rather, it was much more like a mosh pit of flailing limbs with all the coordination of a baby giraffe learning to walk – stuck on repeat. Amongst the arrhythmic chaos, small groups of boys decided that the auditorium was an indoor playground. They chased each other around, tossed party favors at one another, and wrestled around on the floor. I had to break up two scuffles. As a chaperon, Dad was recruited to guard the stage because hard-headed kids kept bum-rushing the stage and accosting the DJ with requests. Eventually they destroyed the neon lights party sign. 

Through it all, I did not even get a chance to dance with my daughter. Honestly, I do not believe I would have been granted the opportunity because the music was warm dumpster juice on a hot, muggy afternoon. Now, I am not blaming the DJ, but the music these kids listen to nowadays (yes, I am going grumpy old man here) is atrocious. No beat. No cadence. Nonsensical lyrics. I am sorry, Travis Scott is NOT an artist that has music worth hitting the dancefloor. As FE!N blared over the speakers, and I watched rhythmic challenged suburban kids bounce around like drunk kangaroos having a seizure, I frantically checked my watch praying the lights would come up. Overall, I represented for my daughter, and we looked good together. She had fun with her friends, so that is all that counts. However, next year, I am definitely dialing back the stylish threads.

Style & Substance – Knock Your Socks Off – A Modest Endorsement for Colorful & Patterned Socks

June 8, 2025 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

There is something to be said about the contemporary gentleman that grants thoughtful attention to his appearance, or at the bare minimum, conveys the impression that he gives a subtle damn about it. Generally speaking, a man will direct his focus on garments that are decidedly most visible: shirt/sweater, pants, and footwear. Simple. A gentleman’s socks, on the other hand, are quite the distant afterthought. Your hosiery deserves a lot better; don’t you agree? Your standard collection of solid blue, brown, and black socks are rightly exhausted, and a gentle refresh is definitely in order. As we have transitioned into spring with summer steadily on the horizon, a gentleman’s options are plentiful with colorful & patterned socks in stock and at the ready for purchase.

So, why should a gentleman elect to employ the services of a pair of seemingly garish hosiery about the ankles? Short and sweet answer: personality. You can quietly, smartly distinguish yourself from the homogenous masses. Allow me to recount a true story for the audience. One day, I was walking around a local mall on my lunchbreak, and I crossed paths with a former colleague from many years ago. After exchanging pleasantries and inquiring about one another’s families, she playfully commanded me to show her my socks. Sheepishly I raised the hem of a pants leg to reveal my sock selection for the day. I do not remember what I was wearing, but I do remember that she nodded with approval and complimented me for staying stylish.

The sartorial exercise is not terribly difficult to execute. As a simple rule of thumb, especially when the occasion is informal, I attempt to not match my socks with my trousers. Instead, I coordinate my socks with a top, necktie, or pocket square. And on the occasion when that is not a possibility, I aim for a lighter hue to make by socks stand out from my pants. For example, if my pants are dark blue, I would then opt for a shade a touch brighter and mix in an interesting pattern to ensure a distinct difference in appearance. Especially for warmer seasons, I lean into whimsical motifs that may see flowers, bees, flamingos, or butterflies adorning my ankles. However, if that direction is a bit much, one can never go wrong with variegated stripes, polka dots, or a combination of the two.

Ultimately, the objective should be to infuse your presentation with a hint of personality and character that elevates your style above the monotonous, humdrum offering of dark and solid. And if the execution strays a bit off course, no worries, you are a gentleman willing to take sartorial risks. I am willing to bet that you hit the target more times than not. It all starts with opening your mind and starting the process. There are plenty of shopping destinations such as Target, Macy’s, T.J. Maxx, and DSW that are stocked with affordable options for a gentleman. You can experiment with what works with your outfits without breaking the bank. You need only worry about the compliments you receive from the public!

Living Your Best Life – Finding Beauty in a Broken Landscape

May 17, 2025 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

Hopefully, when a person has lived a requisite number of years gleaning wisdom from life; there should be an understanding that said life can be a masterpiece of flawed beauty. Our existence can be a perfect picture of imperfection filled with a complex compilation of uneven and damaging experiences. Life, sometimes stubbornly, does not proceed as planned. It can certainly be ugly out there. And yet along the broken landscape of our lives, beauty can spring from unfamiliar and unexpected places. Disrepair need not fuel disbelief or foster discontent. Be encouraged that the discovery and/or creation of something beautiful – even with less than desirable conditions – can positively affect and bring about joy to not only your life but perhaps someone else. Be the reason someone smiles today. Be blessed and be well. Talk to you later.

Living Your Best Life – Just a Slice of Happiness

March 24, 2025 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

This is my little slice of happiness – wrapping Christmas gifts. As I have grown older, wisdom has granted me the ability to understand that happiness, occasionally, requires intention. The simple act of intention allows you to specifically target areas in your life that afford joy and fulfillment. It is important to collect your thoughts to build a foundation for your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Your self-care definitely impacts your healthcare. Therefore, train your focus on activities that encourage a sense of reward, contentment, pride and personal development. One cannot be a mere spectator in the arena of happiness. To the contrary, one must be an active participant. Because, as much as we would love for happiness to be eagerly provided, sometimes, it must be actively sought. Recently, I wrapped a gift for my wife’s birthday. My children instantly recognized the wrapping and identified it as my work because I do the “best wrapped gifts”. That made me feel good inside. It felt good to know that what brings me joy has also left a joyful impression on my children. If you have not discovered what makes you happy; I strongly encourage you to look for it intently. And if you have discovered that slice of happiness for yourself; be greedy and go get some more!

Weight No Longer – The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly During My Weight Loss Journey

February 22, 2025 By in Culture Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Well gentlemen, this was undoubtedly the lowest that my confidence had quietly plummeted. My self-esteem careened wildly over a cliff and exploded into an internal inferno within my heart. I was better than the man I recognized in the mirror with unfamiliarity. And yet, ironically in cruel fashion with the picture on the left, the requirement to employ a waistband extender to my slacks was not sufficient enough to spur an epiphany about my weight – I was dangerously overweight. I betrayed my body, and in turn my body was betraying me. Mysterious aches would greet me in the morning as I rose out of bed. I began to shy away from taking photographs. I was not inspired to attend events because I understood I would most likely need new, larger clothing. Because, sadly embarrassingly, I could no longer fit my old stylish threads. Fortunately, it took an unfortunate medical emergency during the summer of 2023 to kickstart my weight loss. My cardiologist was very blunt with his assessment: My life would most likely be cut short if I did not make the necessary health changes. To be sure, the journey has been challenging, but here I stand at 196 pounds after topping out at an unbelievable 315 pounds. I will most likely write about how I did it in a subsequent blog post. Today, however, I wanted to highlight the good, the bad, and the ugly along the way. Because, and the Lord knows it true, it was not easy.

The Ugly

  • A gentleman will soon realize that not everyone will be on board with the weight loss. Disclaimer, this is my personal account, so I want to be fully transparent. I have not had bariatric surgery, nor do I use GLP-1 drugs such as Ozempic or Wegovy. However, I have noticed a not so quiet criticism of individuals that do utilize such agents as a way to discredit or undermine their weight loss. Personally, I have been on the weight loss grind by walking, strength training, intermittent fasting, and eating healthier. That is what works best for me. If you are on a similar grind, some people may accuse you of employing the aforementioned weight loss methods. And that is between you, your family, and physician if that is case. Otherwise, just keep grinding and ignore the accusations. People can be seriously coldhearted nowadays, and if you are on a journey that is already taxing on your mind, body, & spirit; it’s important you surround yourself with positivity and well-intended support.

The Bad

  • Now, losing over 100 pounds has taken an insane amount of discipline. As an ardent lover of sweets, people just don’t realize how easy it is to go over the edge and spiral into indulgence. Sure, it may be easy for you to practice moderation, but for me it is eerily similar to an addict with sugar being my drug of choice. There is a reason why I ballooned to 315 pounds. A typical day could consist of a McDonald’s Big Breakfast with hotcakes and orange juice, Domino’s Garlic Parmesan Wings with Bacon & Jalapeno Stuffed Cheesy Bread for lunch, and a Beef Chalupa Supreme combination (soft taco & soft drink) with a Beans & Rice Burrito from Taco Bell to end the day. And that doesn’t include random treats during the day (Twinkies, sweet potato pie, chocolate brownies, donuts, chocolate cheesecake, etc.) and beverages (Gatorade, lemonade, grape juice, Pepsi, and Orange Sunkist). It’s really quite embarrassing to type that out for all to see. However, I need to convey that the struggle is quite real.  So, sometimes I cannot approach food with half-measures. A cheat day here, a cheat day there, a day off from the gym here, or a day off there can snowball into an avalanche fast. So, the involuntary side-eyes I receive when I am trying to make better choices or abstain from certain food choices can be a little irritating. You can feel the eyes zeroing in on your plate while you’re just minding your own business. People may caution you against becoming too small, and their heart may be in the right place, but the reality is they are probably just accustomed to seeing you overweight. Honestly, being “too small” is most likely the equivalent to just being a normal size – at least for me.
  • So, to reiterate, the self-discipline to do what it takes to lose weight will be off the charts. I mean, chocolate Twinkies are SO TASTY. Losing weight will require you to eat smaller meals and walking away from, albeit delicious, unhealthy sugar & fats. It will require going to the gym or walking when lounging on the couch feels so much better. You WILL get cravings. My gym is across the parking lot from JJ Fish & Chicken, and that aroma cascading through the air hits my nostrils like a savory sledgehammer. Fast food commercials will make your eyes widen and mouth water because McDonald’s is offering a double Fish Filet akin to a Big Mac or KFC’s newest monstrosity bowl of mashed potatoes, chicken, corn, and cheese sounds nauseatingly tempting. It requires staying the course when EVERYTHING you have done hits a plateau and your weight either does not budge or worst yet – even increases! Oh my, the times I wanted to say screw it and throw down with some warm chocolate brownies and French vanilla ice cream. You have to stay the course because…

The Good!

  • If I can stereotype men for a moment, we can become obsessed with performance. Be it competitive sports or any kind of competition for that matter, job responsibilities, or even in the arena of intimacy – we want, no, we need to perform our best. So, when a gentleman abuses his body in such a way that I did, ultimately performance in those arenas may suffer. Since losing a considerable amount of weight, I no longer wake up with aches and pains that I deceivingly blamed on aging. I no longer become winded during minor exertion such as walking up stairs. And for gentlemen of a certain age – listen closely because I am 48 years old – I am not proclaiming 20-year-old Dirk Diggler type performances, but strength training, walking, and eating right has done wonders for my stamina and fitness.
  • Also, my clothing just hits differently now. Never underestimate the power that a well put together outfit can do for confidence and self-esteem. I went to get myself measured by a tailor because I had not done so in many years. I was shocked at the measurements. My neck size decreased from 17.5 to 16. My waist decreased from 44 to 38. My suit jacket decreased from a 50R/50L to a 44R/44L – although a 46R/46L would probably be most comfortable. When the salesperson suggested a slim cut dress shirt to gauge the right fit, I immediately thought: No way I am getting into a slim cut dress shirt with a 16-inch collar. As soon as I saw myself in the mirror, I asked if I could go take a few pictures (above on the right) of myself. I could not believe my eyes! Gents, I am not ashamed to admit, I damn near cried during the car ride home. The personal accomplishment, the happiness was too real.
  • Now, let’s talk numbers, because true to form, it’s what on the inside that counts. During my checkup with my cardiologist, my vitals were as follows: blood pressure 110/77, total cholesterol reduced from 277 mg to 121 mg, LDL reduced from 219 mg to 77 mg, triglycerides reduced from 163 mg to 43 mg, and hemoglobin A1c reduced from 9.4 to 6.4. My HDL needs to be around 60 mg (mine was 43 mg), but my “bad” cholesterol numbers were great. Disclaimer: Due to bad genetics, I am on a statin. I have a rendezvous with my cardiologist and primary care physician in July. I cannot wait to show them all my hard work is continuing to pay dividends! And now, off to the gym I go!

Black Thought

November 10, 2024 By in Black Thought Tags: , Leave a comment

Sometimes the passage is rocky and turbulent. Sometimes we momentarily stray off course. And sometimes the destination is so far that the eye can barely see it. Alas, we dutifully stay the course. However, when we knowingly select a vessel fraught with moral dilapidation, and its integrity is compromised by ethical decay, the depths that we sink will be of our own choosing.

Style & Substance – There’s Levels to This – Embracing Color & Texture for Autumn Layers

November 9, 2024 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

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Without a shadow of doubt, autumn is definitely my favorite season. Cooling temperatures offer the opportunity to skillfully deploy an assortment of beautiful, stylish layers that provide warmth and visual polish. And as the leaves around us begin to slowly transition into an array of fanciful hues, so does the gentleman’s clothing options burst with color and promise. At a gentleman’s disposal, colors such as apple green, pumpkin orange, barnyard red, rustic brown, or burgundy wine can add a visually pleasing aesthetic to his presentation. As far as textures are concerned, a gentleman can reacquaint himself with trusted staples such as merino wool, cashmere, lambswool, suede, and corduroy. In addition to those reliable mainstays, he can explore and expand into new territory with moleskin, alpaca, mohair, and angora. And as for those layers, thoughtful consideration should be afforded to sweaters, vest, shirt jackets, and sport coats. Besides providing much-needed warmth to address rapidly falling temperatures; layering offers a multidimensional benefit in terms of look. Wait – I almost forgot. I would be remiss if I did not mention gloves, hats, and scarves. Those items in and of themselves offer a plethora of options and creativity! So, let us not waste more time. Let those layers pop.

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Style & Substance – Larrimor’s in Pittsburgh, PA

September 15, 2024 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Perhaps I am old-fashioned. When I offer my patronage to a business, especially for the very first time, it is always pleasant to receive an extra touch of appreciation in the form of good customer service. I have been hunting the market for a hybrid shoe in the form of a sneaker & monk strap. One extremely stylish pair garnered my attention some time ago, but the price-tag was too expensive for my wallet. Subsequent discoveries were also too pricey for my budget. And then the Johnston & Murphy Bolivar Monk Strap crossed my radar. An offering from their higher tiered J&M Collection, I patiently waited for a sale that would never arrive on a variety of websites. However, one day a Google search returned a suggestion for a business in Pittsburgh, PA called Larrimor’s. Now, I am sometimes suspicious of businesses on the Internet that are unknown to me. I performed a little Internet research that revealed it was indeed a legit business.

Much like other businesses that have an online presence, new customers can receive a discount code if they subscribe to receive special offers and the latest company notifications via email. And as fortune would have it, Larrimor’s had the J&M Bolivar Monk Strap in its inventory, and they had an offer for 15% off retail for new customers. And on this particular day, both shipping and sales tax were waived too. This deal was too good to ignore. Decisions were made and the acquisition was approved. So, all things calculated and considered, a $300 pair of shoes were reduced to approximately $233. It was my birthday – and I had been chasing a deal on these shoes for literally MONTHS – so I decided to treat myself. Sometimes I catch a sale too late, and then my size is no longer in stock. We have all been there gentlemen – dragging our feet on a sale way too many times with a disappointing conclusion.

So, my order was placed online on September 1st. To my surprise, I received a personal email from Jen (an eCommerce Manager) confirming the details of my order with an estimated delivery date of 5-6 business days. I received my order on September 9th. No, it was not Amazon lightning fast, but I am not from the generation of instant gratification. Sometimes patience is a virtue, and good things come to those that wait. And wow, these shoes are slick (pictures to come later). Inside the shoe box was a handwritten note from the Larrimor’s team and an additional offer for a 15% discount that will expire in 30 days. I truly appreciate the handwritten, personal thank you card. It is sadly a lost practice in an age of impersonal interactions between people. We are in a time where we definitely could use more of these kind gestures of appreciation. Now, the inventory on the Larrimor’s website isn’t as plentiful as larger, big brand chains. However, I am glad my Google search alerted me to their existence. I will definitely check them out going forward in the future.

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The Standard #61

September 8, 2024 By in Black Thought, Standard Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

Mountain

To be sure, for individuals with a heightened degree of mental acuity, one can risk leaning too heavily into one’s intelligence, much to the detriment of reason and logic. Now, there are particular circumstances that occur in life that elicit such a passionate exercise. And trust, I wholeheartedly understand the passion that can be evoked toward an intimately held belief or idea. For certain, it is passion that propels purpose and progress. Nevertheless, absent restraint, passion can pervert principle. Passion can propagate pain. And passion can prop up perplexing political partitions. Sometimes, if you can humor me, some subject matter need not be overly thought and unnecessarily complicated. Some things are as simple as they present themselves.

However, some people possess an insatiable appetite to expertly weave arguments to either explain the unexplainable or ignore the explainable altogether. So, what you have is an intellectual exhibitionist ready to expose their intelligence for all to see, solely for the purpose of self-gratification and self-affirmation. It’s not that complicated. Sometimes the subject matter boils down to key core values: integrity, honesty, accountability, responsibility, dignity, and character. Because, for all the bluster and grandstanding, a reprobate ideology should not trump morality and ethics. Is this not what we demand of our children? It’s not that complicated. Believe me, I understand the disappointment and despair. However, those feelings can yield discontent and disillusionment. And in turn, we gravitate towards something we know in our soul is wrong.

Now, you may have read the following statement before here on this blog, but I believe it bears repeating, albeit with a remix. We can disagree without being disagreeable, however, common ground should not be so uncommon, as I truly believe it is achievable. Diatribes disguised as smart discourse are disingenuous and should be definitively dispelled. In this shared experience of life, we are called upon to select imperfect vessels to carry our hopes and beliefs to a preferred destination for a greater good. Sometimes the passage is rocky and turbulent. Sometimes we momentarily stray off course. And sometimes the destination is so far that the eye can barely see it. Alas, we dutifully stay the course. However, when we knowingly select a vessel fraught with moral dilapidation, and its integrity is compromised by ethical decay, the depths that we sink will be of our own choosing.

Black Thought

July 23, 2024 By in Black Thought Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

The knee-jerk response of assigning every dissenting view as merely “hate” is just a lazy counter to constructive criticism. It is a dismissive attempt to avoid a meaningful exchange of opinion based on the merits of the subject matter. It is a way to justify the seemingly unjustifiable absent debate. A gentleman should be able to offer an opinion with candor, intelligence, reason, and respect. And conversely, a gentleman should be able to receive said criticism with openness, understanding, reason, and respect. Only through the exchange of well-thought perspectives can enlightenment and learning be achieved.

Living Your Best Life – Planting Seeds of Fulfillment – My Garden of Happiness

July 10, 2024 By in Life Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Cone Flowers

Over the course of a gentleman’s existence, he will undoubtedly be confronted with varying array of challenges and adversity. The resulting stress can spiral into an unhealthy dependence on unproductive vices (pornography, alcohol, gambling, etc.) that can hinder us emotionally, mentally, and physically. We hastily retreat under a comforting blanket of false gratification and deceptive happiness. Figuratively beasts of burden, we strain under the discomforting weight of life, plodding along in a sad attempt to make it from Point A to Point B. Generally speaking, Point A would represent when we wake up and Point B would be when we go to sleep. Admittedly, I am a registered and certified night owl. However, the combination of night owl tendencies and mental stress equals terrible sleeping habits. I can function with 4-5 hours of sleep, but long term that is unsustainable and unhealthy. Therefore, my objective over the last three years has been to identify activities that grant meaningful satisfaction and contentment.

One of the activities that I have immersed myself in over the past few years is gardening. I never fancied myself as a gentleman blessed with a green thumb. Nevertheless, I embraced the hobby as a way to cope with the daily grind of life and what life has dealt my way. I enjoy the quiet and solitude of my own little escape. It occupies my mind and lifts the brain fog; forcing me to focus on the sometimes-grueling task at hand. However, the physical activity grants me vigor and mental sharpness. And it is immensely rewarding to watch plant life survive and thrive under my care. I selected various flowers and plants to entice pollinators to our garden, so the feeling of pride that swells inside me as I watch butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds fly back and forth is incredible. I have coneflowers (echinacea), swamp milkweed, salvia, roses, and lavender to name a few. My daughter has even given names to specific sections of the garden such as Bee Town – that’s where the bees tend to congregate around the salvia. That makes me smile inside. And I like smiling inside.

Gentlemen’s Best Life Challenge – Identify an activity that brings genuine happiness and a sense of accomplishment within yourself.

Matters of the Heart – The Faithful Day That Compelled Me to Adopt a Healthier Lifestyle and Lose Weight

June 29, 2024 By in Life Tags: , , , 1 Comment

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Honestly, I do not know where to start this particular post as I look at the split photograph above. The contrast is visible jarring. It has definitely been quite the journey. I will be soon approaching the anniversary of a serious health scare that landed me in the hospital approximately a year ago. One summer evening, I was tirelessly working in the backyard when I encountered some stubborn weeds – burdock weeds to be exact. They were ridiculously humongous, and unbeknownst to me, their roots were insanely deep. With a bit of elbow grease, I surmised I could rip these unsightly, unwelcome visitors from the soil. However, they were embedded in the ground mightily, and with each Herculean yank, a piece of my soul seemingly left my body. I cannot recall how many weeds I was able to free from the ground, but I decided to call it an evening as it progressively became darker outside. We have been known to have rogue coyotes prance through backyards at night, and I seriously did not want a close encounter of the unwanted kind.

Physically exhausted, I sluggishly retreated to my couch to play some World War Z Aftermath on the PS5 to relax. However, I felt an uncomfortable heaviness in my chest. Now, it was not painful, it was just an irritating pressure that would not subside. I thought perhaps it was gas and I needed a vigorous belch. I tried to get comfortable, but I just could not find a cozy position. Frustrated, I then retreated to the bedroom to sleep it off – maybe I strained a pectoral muscle with all the previous tugging. Still, I could not find a comfortable position. I tossed. I turned, but nothing helped. Now my mind was racing to worse case scenarios. I have a history of cardiovascular disease in my family with more than a few deaths due to heart attack or stroke. Taking my age, family history, and physical shape into account; I decided now was not the time to be too proud and ignore any warning signs.

Admittedly, my next series of actions were questionable. I prepared my kid’s lunches for the following morning (it was between 1 a.m. & 2 a.m. I think), woke my wife up to explain the situation, and then drove myself to the emergency room. Okay – you can let me have it in the comment section. However, I truly did not feel as if I was in any medical distress. Once I was settled in the emergency room; all of the preliminary tests (EKG & bloodwork to detect markers for a heart attack) were fine. The nurse thought I’d be going home in the next few hours. Great, I would be back home to get breakfast started and see the kids off to school. Nope. Big nope. The on-call physician wanted more tests. After being tortured by the ER nurse who could not find a vein, I settled into my ER bed quite angry. Sidenote: If a nurse needs a vein finder thingy doohickie to locate your veins – ask for another nurse. I have never experienced that much pain in my life as a needle was jammed into my arm in a desperate attempt to start an IV. I’m a nice chocolate gentleman, but I can still see a faint bruise at the insertion site to this day. Thanks Stephen.

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Due to family history and my symptoms, the on-call physician wanted to examine me further before releasing me home. And so, I was wheeled away for a CTA (computed tomography angiography) to determine any funny business going on within my arteries. The results: 50-70% blockage in one of my coronary arteries. WTF?! I swear I cried for an hour straight. I stent was in my future. My mind was racing. I needed to see my children. I needed to be home. WTF?! Making calls to my wife and family were devastating. I had NEVER been hospitalized EVER. So now was the waiting game. I had to be admitted and I had to be scheduled for a cardiac catheterization to determine the best approach for stenting. The next day or so was tense. I was very much afraid. I was also deeply disappointed in myself for putting my loved ones through so much worry.

The procedure itself was a breeze. I was placed under mild sedation and given a local anesthetic; it lasted perhaps 20 minutes. I was a little loopy, but I could hear my cardiologist speaking with the nurses in the room. A miracle. I could hear him tell the room that the blockage was not bad, and a stent was not required. The blockage was more around 30% instead of the initial findings. I was overjoyed. And then my cardiologist had a frank conversation with me. I needed a lifestyle change, or next time, there would be no next time. My cholesterol was sky high, and so was my blood sugar. I never weighed myself at home. So, when the nurse wrote 139 kg on the white board inside my patient room, I was curious regarding what that equated to in pounds. Well, it converts to 307 pounds. WTF?!

The patient in the adjacent bed clocked in at around 500 pounds. He had severe sleep apnea, so he would wake up screaming when he stopped breathing. He vomited in the bed. Somehow, he yanked his IV line out and bled all over the sheets. Due to his size and inability to be mobile, he had to urinate in a basin. I could not sleep. I asked the charge nurse to pretty please change my room. However, the remaining rooms had all female occupants. And the last room had a single that was prone to violence. So, the choices were waking up to a crazed patient trying to kill me or stay with the pleasant sounds of screaming, snoring, vomiting, and peeing. I slept as best I could with headphones. Talk about a medical version of Scared Straight. I resigned myself to change.

Now, I will probably write another post regarding how I landed at my current weight – 214 pounds. Yes, I have lost over 90 pounds in a little less than a year. It has not been easy – not at all. The first glance at the gym mirror was so depressing. How did I allow myself to get this way? Losing weight felt like an impossible task. Nevertheless, we all have to start somewhere. I went on Amazon and bought a bevy of shirts to psyche myself up for each gym session. Thus far, I have reduced my blood sugar (back to recommended levels) without the aid of medication, reduce my cholesterol (still need meds because of these damn genetics), increase my overall energy, and look good in my suits again! It has been a struggle of a journey. But I’m still here y’all. And hopefully I can stick around a little while longer.

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What I Am Rocking Nowadays – Brooks Brothers Henry the Sheep Graphic Sweatshirt

February 24, 2024 By in Life, Style & Substance, What I'm Wearing Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

wp-17038147131765754874386596539114Nowadays, this is what life as a father looks like for me. I am a gentleman of a certain age and grace that now resides in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. My beard is markedly adorned with dignified speckles of white and grey now. My woeful hairline retreated from battle decades ago. My children are growing older now, and Father Time did not sit idly by on my behalf. School events are becoming plentiful, and it is important a father attempt to attend as many as humanly possible. Therefore, school events beg for a presentation from a gentleman that looks the part of a parent. I have always reasoned with myself that I would not be the guy in his 40s foolishly attempting to look like a guy in his 20s. Hello Cliff Huxtable sweaters. Now, I was able to purchase this graphic fleece sweatshirt from Brooks Brothers on a substantial seasonal sale. The goal was to juxtapose a lighthearted, fashionable centerpiece with my otherwise serious demeanor.

An unserious, quirky sweatshirt; I have been able to rediscover and renew my creative personality traits after shedding over 70 pounds. I had a serious health scare back in July 2023, and I have been on the challenging road to improve my health. I will probably write about the experience in later posts. For now, I am enjoying clothing again and expressing my personality through my personal style. Layered over a button up shirt, this sweatshirt was definitely a conversation starter. I signed up to volunteer at my daughter’s school’s open house, and my Henry the Sheep top elicited a lot of compliments and questions. I paired the top with some Mugsy jeans, a Paul Stuart corduroy cap, and Sperry boots – all items middle-aged father approved. I have a few more sweaters I am waiting to rock in the future, and it appears the weather is going to present ample opportunities to sport them. Now, these types of sweaters are definitely not for everyone. You cannot take yourself too seriously, and you need to come to terms with an advancing age that pleads for suitable attire. I’m good on both accounts.

The Professional – Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself – 4 Ways to Confidently Close an Interview

January 13, 2024 By in Uncategorized Leave a comment

silver laptop and white cup on table

How a job candidate concludes an interview could seriously play a pivotal role securing a position in an organization. More than likely, it is the final time a candidate can clearly define themselves, summarize their skills, and express enthusiasm toward potentially joining the organization. Stakes can be considerably high with a competitive field, and a job candidate must ensure every measure is taken to court a successful outcome. The conclusion of an interview can be a conflicting combination of relief and regret, as a candidate will be thankful for surviving the question filled gauntlet but may be disappointed with their resulting performance. Confidently closing an interview affords you the opportunity to perform a high level, albeit succinct reiteration of key skills, personal attributes, and talents for consideration. Here below are a few tips.

  • During the close, a candidate should ask the interviewer(s) meaningful, well-thought questions. It is important to remember that the candidate should be determining if the job is a good fit for them as well. Aside from the standard fare of hours, wages, and benefits; a candidate should be inquiring about culture, training, company/department objectives, and job expectations within their first three months of employment. This level of engagement reiterates your excitement and interest regarding the position. It would also be beneficial that you are familiar with company’s vision and mission. If it is an internal department, it would behoove you to educate yourself regarding the department’s direction or any significant projects on the horizon.
  • Ensure that you present a clear vision and goal for yourself. Any personal objectives should align with the organization’s mission and vision. Again, a candidate should devote the proper time reviewing the company’s website for pertinent, detailed information. It is always wise to map out objectives and goals for your career ahead of time. It demonstrates forward-thinking and illustrates a genuine interest in the company’s future.
  • A candidate should clearly, succinctly rearticulate their talents and skills. It would be wise to grant thought toward adjectives that best describe you professionally and how those characteristics apply to the position you are seeking. A candidate should review the job description, identify keywords pertaining to the position, and smartly tailor their pitch to coincide with the company’s needs. Should a candidate copy words from the job description verbatim? Absolutely not. That would signal a particular level of laziness by the candidate. You should, however, review the job description and capture the spirit of any job prerequisites.
  • Never underestimate the importance of extending sincere gratitude for the opportunity to interview. Ensure that you have a writing utensil and piece of paper to capture names of anyone interviewing you. And verify the correct spellings. If there are multiple individuals asking questions, don’t write the same canned response to everyone. Craft a different thank you note for anyone involved in the interview process. This process may be considered old school, but what it reflects that you are serious about the opportunity. E-mail can work, but I suggest you make a trip to Target and purchase some blank thank you cards. After the interview, find a location to write your thank you cards and drop them off at the front desk – same day. If your interview was already tight; this extra measure can leave an indelible mark in their memory and separate you from the pack.