To be sure, I am certainly not the same gentleman I was thirty years ago – at least not in the physical sense. My years of youthful virility are slowly disappearing in the rearview of my life. My body’s check engine light sporadically illuminates as mysterious aches and pains quietly arrive unannounced. My creaky joints are a touch stiffer, reflexes are a shade slower, and small regions in my beard are producing hues of eggshell white. And to add insult to emotional injury: My son just beat me in a game of H-O-R-S-E with three midrange jump shots with his eyes closed. The rascal peeked no doubt; he is no Michael Jordan. I digress; this brother is aging. Now, I can either go kicking and screaming, or I can accept the reality that Father Time comes for us all. I have determined that I will not be that older gentleman that is blind to the inevitable, stark reality: Father Time is undefeated.
That brings me to today’s post. A few months ago, my wife and I were invited to a birthday celebration. As I began to assemble my outfit, I thought about the type of crowd that would be in attendance. I figured guests would be around the same age as the birthday couple. Now, ten years may not seem like a huge differential as it pertains to age groups, but one would be amazed how much change can transpire within a decade. And for reference, I am North of 40 years old. Quick aside: During my high school years, one of my uncles considered himself the consummate playboy. He was a handsome gentleman with an abundance of charisma to spare. However, as he grew older, his advancing age did not match his youthful presentation. I love the guy, but as years passed, it was obvious he was attempting to prolong his glory years. Not me. I do not have the desire to be the 50-year-old gentleman that dresses like he is 30 years younger. The outfit may whisper young adult, but the vanishing hairline and gray beard screams, “Get off my lawn!”
Nevertheless, I am wise, and there is no reason to compete with men decades my junior. I realize that a gentleman can still present himself with grace and polish without the appearance of desperately clinging to days gone by. There are simply too many stylish options at a guy’s disposal to not look fantastic. So, what do I do? For a semi-formal occasion, I still lean into a trustworthy, dark navy suit anchored by a mature necktie, an elegant pocket square, and sharp-looking dress shoes. If navy is not an option, I would reach for a charcoal grey one. If I am feeling a little saucy, and I do not want to present as too stodgy, I will opt for a dress shirt with either an interesting pattern or unconventional color to make the look pop.
On this evening, I chose a blue/white dress shirt with a small repeating diamond print, complemented by the minimalist vibe of my conservatively striped dark navy necktie. The suit was dark navy. My shoes were black cap-toe oxfords. I rounded out the look with a fanciful flower lapel and topped off by a gentleman’s crown – in this case my Bailey. Side note: I have unapologetically embraced the exercise of wearing hats as a part of my ensemble. It should be an item in everyone older gent’s starter pack. With my now salt & pepper beard, I carry the look off well. Not pictured here, but I did decide to rock blue paisley socks. Nevertheless, my sartorial selections were rightly indicative of this stage in my life – intelligently grown-up with just enough playful interest to garner quiet respect. Call it my midlife stylish phase. When I looked at a picture from that night, I could not help but recognize how I have aged. But I look handsome and distinguished. And I am cool with that.
- Suit – Hart Schaffner Marx
- Shirt – Forsyth of Canada
- Necktie – Eidos
- Pocket Square – Burberry
- Flower Lapel – Hook + Albert
- Socks – Paul Stuart
- Shoes – Allen Edmonds
- Watch – Tissot
- Hat – Bailey
So, it is safe to classify the following circumstances as a forgivable miss by good old Dad here. The evening event was advertised as a school dance. It was simple enough. Now, perhaps, I did not carefully read the information contained in the school e-mail as required. Perhaps, I was too excited to embarrass my child on the dance floor with the old man cutting a rug. Nonetheless, I obviously overlooked the fine print regarding the dress code for the evening event. And nowadays, I admittedly embrace the opportunity to slide into stylish threads given the years spent hiding in oversized clothing.
Well gentlemen, this was undoubtedly the lowest that my confidence had quietly plummeted. My self-esteem careened wildly over a cliff and exploded into an internal inferno within my heart. I was better than the man I recognized in the mirror with unfamiliarity. And yet, ironically in cruel 
If I may offer some gentle advice to any new manager or supervisor: document, document, and document. And if you are a veteran leader in people management, but have mistakenly failed to perform this required practice, well, it would behoove you to document, document, and document some more immediately. Trust, an otherwise quaint work environment can become as brutal as Game of Thrones at the drop of a dime. The emergence of deceit, politics, jealously, power struggle, manipulation, and outright hate would make Cersei Lannister a proud, blushing queen. Managing a wide array of unique personalities, you can trust that at some point a colleague is going to come at you sideways. And in the event when that occurs, it is paramount that you are appropriately armed with receipts. I am speaking about recorded documentation of events and conversations that can confidently address any allegation, accusation, denial, work violation, so on and so forth.
So, sure the little ones (I suppose they are not so little now) tear through their gifts like Tasmanian devils, but it well worth the effort to have a beautiful Christmas tree presentation with a colorful medley of decorative gifts underneath. My son even tagged along with me as we visited Michaels and Target to procure the necessary items to create a Palmer Winter Wonderland in the house. Hopefully, he is learning some lessons along the way. We did not purchase anything too ornate or spectacular, but the purchases enhanced the holiday spirit around the house.
The secondary reason for going the extra mile with gift wrapping affects me directly. Given that I do not have any harmful vices that would produce pleasure, but are nonetheless destructive, I am left to seek out positive outlets to trigger beneficial dopamine releases. Dopamine is an organic chemical that affects areas of the brain associated with temporary feelings of satisfaction, motivation, pleasure, and happiness. Therefore, it is common to find me in the yard during the summer tending to the family garden and mowing the lawn. The reward for the fruits of my labor is a great sense of accomplishment and pride. I never thought I would be that guy, but spending time out with nature and nurturing plant life is truly rewarding. Nowadays, I am always on the lookout for a project that elicits some inkling of happiness. 
Honestly, I would be dishonest if I said every aspect of my life was perfect and happy. No, unfortunately, that is simply not the case. Life can be indiscriminately unforgiving. Some days are really challenging. So, I wholeheartedly try to utilize every tool in my well-being toolbox to achieve as much balance as possible. The present above is one that really brought a smile to my face. The wrapping paper was heavier than the normal, standard variety one would purchase. The grayish blue surface was speckled with a glitter-like, grainy touch. It almost has a shimmer to it. It was simple, yet elegant. I used some excess paper to make a little bow which I affixed to the box with rustic piece of Christmas twine and bell. It’s amazing the sense of peace I feel as I fold, cut, tie, and tape my way to a finished project. I was really pleased with the results, and every time I saw it underneath the tree, I smiled inside with warm pride.
The Gentlemen's Standard 