Unsurprisingly, I am wholly confident that my current challenges of rearing a young boy is not exclusive to my parental timeline. If you are an involved father, and your rambunctious offspring is prone to boneheaded, impulsive behavior – well – you understand the struggle is agonizingly real. Trust, the anxiety induced when one receives an e-mail or phone call from the school is steeped with other worldly levels of stress. Moreover, subsequent frustration is heightened due to how wildly dissimilar our personalities seemingly appear from my perspective. I am extremely quiet and reserved. My son, not so much. And so, perhaps as many other parents such as myself, I searched for activities that would constructively redirect his energy, sharpen his focus while instilling discipline, and awarding him a few victories along the way for his hard work.

Two years ago, I identified an opportunity. Now, I am an avid basketball fan, and with the NBA season approaching, I decided to resurrect a hobby that I enjoyed as a child with my boy – sports card collecting. I absolutely loved ripping open packs and collecting my favorite players. Back then, it was not the corporate business it is now, with specialty cards pricing out the average collector – especially if that collector is just a kid. I had two binders: one blue and the other brown. I had some great rookie cards that I cherished: Grant Hill, Chris Webber, and Dikembe Mutombo just to name a few. Through years of a few changes in residence, my binders were unfortunately lost. It is my hope that they will be rediscovered in a miscellaneous box one day. I digress; I hoped basketball would be the activity to get my son together.

Now, along with collecting basketball cards, I sought an opportunity to introduce a sport (basketball) that could capture and channel his energy for the court – definitely not the classroom. Basketball themed birthday cakes, a portable hoop in the backyard, designated basketball sneakers, basketball camps, and the aforementioned trading cards were all a part of the master plan to course correct my son. The years (yes, years) had been rough. Sometimes, it felt that all the emotional and mental support I expended did not yield any positive returns. It was painfully exhausting, mind-numbingly aggravating, and many times saddening. Doubting myself as a father was not uncommon. Humbly, as a gentleman that generally dispenses what I believe is wise counsel, my words were not landing with my boy. What was I doing wrong?

For the multitude of advice books on the market, fatherhood truly does not have an instructional manual that addresses every scenario. It is very much trial and error – sometimes heavy on the error. I have regrets, many situations I wished I handled differently. Nevertheless, we are dutifully staying the course, and the tide has shifted in a positive direction. Corrective conversations with teachers, principals, and assistant principals have ceased – knock on wood. Test scores are up. He is getting along better with his peers. Punishments have been replaced with praise. Sure, there are the occasional youthful hiccups that accompany this maturation process. That is to be expected, and we are in a much better space now.

So, as father & on making this journey together against the backdrop of basketball, I am proud of his growth. Sometimes, I use current events from the basketball world to teach lessons about life. Nevertheless, it is not all so serious. Along with youth basketball league, watching NBA games together on the couch, we have secured some serious, prime rookie cards from this generation’s NBA stars. Anthony Edwards, Victor Wembanyama, Cade Cunningham, and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander are just a few that we have collected. We have definitely bonded, as I am attempting to create a relationship that I did not enjoy as a child. Raising him has highlighted the importance of preparing him for this crazy world around us. So, if you are a father in the struggle, hang in there. Even when you’re getting your ankles broken on the court (I’ll save that for another post), and you come face to face with Father Time, just know that your value to your child is indeed invaluable.