The Standard #61

February 10, 2026 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

To be sure, for individuals with a heightened degree of mental acuity, one can risk leaning too heavily into one’s intelligence, much to the detriment of reason and logic. Now, there are particular circumstances that occur in life that elicit such a passionate exercise. And trust, I wholeheartedly understand the passion that can be evoked toward an intimately held belief or idea. For certain, it is passion that propels purpose and progress. Nevertheless, absent restraint, passion can pervert principle. Passion can propagate pain. And passion can prop up perplexing political partitions. Sometimes, if you can humor me, some subject matter need not be overly thought and unnecessarily complicated. Some things are as simple as they present themselves.

However, some people possess an insatiable appetite to expertly weave arguments to either explain the unexplainable or ignore the explainable altogether. So, what you have is an intellectual exhibitionist ready to expose their intelligence for all to see, solely for the purpose of self-gratification and self-affirmation. It’s not that complicated. Sometimes the subject matter boils down to key core values: integrity, honesty, accountability, responsibility, dignity, and character. Because, for all the bluster and grandstanding, a reprobate ideology should not trump morality and ethics. Is this not what we demand of our children? It’s not that complicated. Believe me, I understand the disappointment and despair. However, those feelings can yield discontent and disillusionment. And in turn, we gravitate towards something we know in our soul is wrong.

Now, you may have read the following statement before here on this blog, but I believe it bears repeating, albeit with a remix. We can disagree without being disagreeable, however, common ground should not be so uncommon, as I truly believe it is achievable. Diatribes disguised as smart discourse are disingenuous and should be definitively dispelled. In this shared experience of life, we are called upon to select imperfect vessels to carry our hopes and beliefs to a preferred destination for a greater good. Sometimes the passage is rocky and turbulent. Sometimes we momentarily stray off course. And sometimes the destination is so far that the eye can barely see it. Alas, we dutifully stay the course. However, when we knowingly select a vessel fraught with moral dilapidation, and its integrity is compromised by ethical decay, the depths that we sink will be of our own choosing.

Style & Substance – Standing on Business (Casual) – An Unabashed Endorsement for the Hybrid Dress Shoe

February 9, 2026 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Approximately one month ago or so, my YouTube algorithm recommended a video that highlighted three men’s styles that should have been unabashedly abandoned in the year 2025. To my astonishment, the hybrid dress shoe was unceremoniously identified for such cancellation. And I wholeheartedly understand, the marriage of formal and informal shoe aesthetics can succeed stylishly, or lead to a Frankenstein furnishing of fashion.

More than a decade ago, the rise of the hybrid dress shoe arrived with some unsightly offerings. The inelegant execution of a refined dress shoe upper and cushioned sneaker outsole resulted in a clunky, unbalanced piece of footwear. Nevertheless, as with any experimental creation, trial and error is required to steadily improve the final product. I believe more and more brands are nailing the execution. Therefore, don’t reserve those dress hybrids to the trash bin so soon.

In my humble opinion, the dress shoe hybrid offers a useful combination of utility and practicality. They bridge the divide between business formal and casual. Now, the office dress code at my job prohibits wearing sneakers unless approved for medical reasons. And for a gentleman such as myself who prefers to break up cubicle monotony with a walk around the office floor, a traditional dress shoe can be quite unforgiving on one’s feet. Heaven forbid a colleague utilizes a standup desk. The soft midsole and outsole can help ease potential aching feet.

Comfort also extends to long commutes across parking lots or if you are standing for an extended period of time (perhaps a PowerPoint presentation on tap). The versatility of a hybrid allows for an appealing appearance of an Oxford while ensuring the walking comfort and cushioning of a sneaker. And yes, loafers can fit the bill as well. Our office allows for business casual attire, so the dress hybrid is perfect compromise. And added bonuses such as improved traction and better durability about the sole make it even more practical.

Now, as much as I am a strong advocate for hybrid dress shoes, I do abide by a principled set of personal rules and protocols. I do not wear hybrid shoes with suits or dress trousers. I understand that some personalities in media wear dress hybrids with suits, but the presentation looks a bit uneven and odd from my perspective. Denim jeans or cotton pants would be my preferred bottoms of choice. Uppers should still retain the presence of quality leather, so the shoe does not project a cheap aura. So, where should a gentleman begin to look for a distinguished dress hybrid?

Whether wingtip, cap-toe, plain toe, tassel loafer, etc., I have a few brand recommendations. Cole Haan, Magnanni, Johnston & Murphy, and Grenson are reputable brands I have found success throughout the years. Johnston & Murphy are the most affordable ($100-150) with sales seemingly always ongoing. Style can be hit or miss, as J&M sometimes leans heavily into the sneaker aesthetic on some models. The more casual the shoe becomes; you are probably better off just buying a full-fledged sneaker.

Magnanni and Grenson offer the most style but are expensive (we’re talking North of $400 dollars here), so look for sales when you can spot a few. Cole Haan offers comfort and affordability ($100-150) with continuing sales on par with J&M. Cole Haan tends to be more aesthetically pleasing than J&M with a variety of dazzling colors for selection. On par with Cole Haan, Grenson also offers great comfort. However, their wedge soles tend to be thicker, so select wisely to match your own style. Personally, I do not mind a few centimeters added to my height!

I think it is a tad bit premature to announce the demise of the hybrid dress shoe. As office dress codes have relaxed over the years, a hybrid shoe can provide a gentleman a service of form and function. A gentleman is afforded a polished, professional presentation while reducing the possibility of aching feet. A few pairs in the gentleman’s closet would most definitely elevate his business casual attire up a few notches.

The Palmers Ep. 1- Lions, Tigers, Emails, and More Rehearsals We Could Bear; Oh My! – Ava’s Big Moment in the Land of Oz

February 5, 2026 By in The Palmers Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

 

I quietly, patiently sat on a bench inside the school’s main office waiting for my daughter. I was there for early school pick-up, as my daughter was expected to be at play rehearsal at approximately 4:30 pm. And thus, this was daily life as we rocketed with nervous excitement toward the Wizard of Oz showtime that weekend. This was the final week for rehearsals. School dismissal is at 3:30 pm, so I needed to secure my daughter before a log jam of vehicles impeded both entry and exit to the school. I could not help but silently chuckle as I overheard another parent lamenting the same hectic, accelerated time schedule for her child.

Time management was extremely critical. And thankfully some of my mother’s customs are stubbornly engrained in me – time management being one of them. Trying to pass that skill along to your child is a story on its own. Rehearsals needed to move like clockwork. Therefore, I picked my daughter up from school, got her home to plate her dinner, her mother would feverishly apply her makeup shortly thereafter, and then I would whisk her off to a nearby high school (where the play would be ultimately performed) for rehearsal.

During previous weeks, rehearsals ranged from 5:30 pm to 7:45 pm, and at least they were not every day. In between drop-off and pick-up in the evening, I would try to squeeze in a workout at Planet Fitness. If I wanted to treat myself, I took a power nap in my car for much-needed revitalization. It was then off for pickup so I could get her home for a shower and bedtime. It was not unusual to observe my daughter walking with a slight limp from rehearsal. Aside from a speaking role, she was also cast in multiple choreographed dance sequences. To be sure, it was intense. Now, apologies to the audience, I am getting slightly ahead of myself.

Allow me to take a few much-needed steps back in time. This fantastic voyage to the stage begins back in the winter of 2024. Now, my child is a product of Disney Junior programming. Dating as far back as Doc McStuffins to current favorite Bluey; my daughter’s preferred (and parental approved) channel of choice has always been Disney. Woven within the animated fabric of general television series were fantasy musicals released on the channel. Fantasy musicals such as Descendants and Zombies were a healthy contributor to my daughter’s flair for the theatrical. And since Disney Junior were not above shamelessly broadcasting reruns ad nauseam, my daughter would eagerly capture every scripted line and nuance of her favorite characters. Her memorization was amazing. 

Fortuitously, an opportunity arose for her to utilize those theatrical superpowers for other than jitterbugging on her parents’ next to last nerve. That opportunity arrived in the form of a stage play being produced at her school. The opportunity flew under the radar until urgent e-mails were dispatched from the school to elicit student interest. The Disney Junior acting chops received the chance as Ava was cast in an ensemble role as a Lady-in-Waiting for the play Once Upon a Mattress.

The play is a musical comedy that reimagines the fairy tale “The Princess and the Pea”. Although my daughter did not have any speaking roles, she projected detailed facial expressions and mannerisms that gave life to her ensemble part. A robotic, lifeless ensemble cast can make for a dull experience; it is all the more I was proud of my girl performing. Once Upon a Mattress was a three-day affair, and every performance I sat front row to clap and cheer. A host of family and friends came out to support her. We were so very proud.

The next opportunity was a 2025 summer program offered by the Detroit Opera. My wife enrolled our daughter in the performing arts program Create & Perform. The program allows participants to write their own script, compose songs, and then act in their own original creation. Participants had approximately one week to write and compose their work, followed by one week of rehearsal. The result: The Magical Fishes and Their Frivolous Wishes.

This time my star had a speaking role; she played a magical fish in the ocean that granted wishes. Her performance did not disappoint. With a booming voice and tons of magical sassiness, she danced and sang across the stage waving her colorful sash to and fro. And armed with a magical bubble gun, she frolicked amongst the audience and stage granting wishes with reckless abandon. A woman sitting next to probably noticed my exuberance for this one particular performer. She leaned over and whispered, “Is that your daughter?” Brimming with internal pride, I replied, “Yes.” “She’s really good”, the lady replied. The edges of my mouth curled into a smile.

Fast-forward to fall/winter 2025 and the casting call for The Wizard of Oz was dispatched near and far to all the parents. The children had an opportunity to select two characters of choice for their audition. My daughter decided to read for the roles of Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West. Now, allow me to tell you about this audition timeline. An e-mail was distributed on October 26th (Sunday). An e-mail was then distributed October 31st (Friday) for signup.

Auditions were then held November 3 (Monday) with callbacks on November 5th (Wednesday). Talk about a, ahem, wicked timeframe. Both sessions were approximately 2.5-3 hours – after school! Even for an adult, that is an extremely long day. We had no idea we were just getting started with the marathon. And so, we spent the weekend reading lines and watching the Wizard of Oz. I pulled up tutorials on cackling like a witch. Who knew there was such a thing?

Monday auditions went well; my daughter was confident she had nailed either role. Her memory is so sharp, as we were practicing, she had memorized the dialogue of both characters and would seamlessly transition between the two. My hopes were high. After the audition, she told me she received applause from the other students. My hopes rose even higher. I anxiously waited for the e-mail regarding a callback. Finally, she got the callback for Wednesday evening. I arrived at the school for parent orientation as the final audition took place down the hallway in the cafeteria.

Play fees, attendance policy, rehearsal schedules, and volunteer expectations were discussed – however – my mind was nervously drifting intently down the hallway. So, upon dismissal, I immediately Usain Bolted straight toward the cafeteria. The children were slowly filing out. My eyes erratically scanned the crowd searching for my daughter. Finally, she emerged through the double doors. Her face projected indifference. She was not chosen for either role. My tense heart hopelessly sank like an anchor; fatherly anger began to flame broil my insides.

Nevertheless, outwardly, I needed to project an aura of calm and extend unyielding support. As a father, you thoughtfully search for linings composed of silver to communicate hope. All was not lost. She was indeed selected for a speaking role. After receiving the deflating news, I curiously asked, “Well, what role did you get?” And with a slightly confused tone, my daughter replied, “Zeke.” I cannot lie; I did not know who Zeke was either. After a brief consultation with my trusted source, Google, I was duly informed that Zeke was the human counterpart to the Cowardly Lion who worked as a farmhand. So, during the drive back home, I explained that despite the fleeting disappointment, this was an excellent opportunity to have a speaking role, albeit a minor one. We would later learn that Ava would be tasked with 4 ensemble roles in addition to Zeke. The next 2 1/2 months were going to be exciting and challenging.

That following weekend, we proceeded to rehearse lines and watch more Wizard of Oz clips on YouTube. Of course, we intently focused on the farmhand Zeke to glean inspiration for Ava’s interpretation. Now, bless her little growing thespian heart, my child is truly suburban, and teaching her to speak with a farm belt accent was agonizingly hilarious. She would start with a farm-flavored twang of the tongue before hopelessly falling back into her normal, proper diction. Eventually, that plan of action was abandoned, and simply memorizing lines became the first priority. The school rehearsals were intense. The evening rehearsals ranged from 2-3 times a week and lasted 2 hours or more. And outside of school rehearsals, students were expected to practice daily for a minimum of 15-20 minutes at home. The results: abbreviated nights of sleep, sore feet, and aching ankles. Soon, however, the hard work would be well worth the effort.

Now, for the past few years, winters have been extremely mild here in Michigan. The requirement of snow removal had become almost nonexistent. So, I feel we were perhaps owed a past-due balance of blustery temperatures and copious amounts of snow. The inevitable school cancellations led to rehearsals being rescheduled with extended practices. Commutes became a little more adventurous, as Michigan drivers will blow a stop sign on icy pavement and won’t even blink. Still, the time was drawing near. And then, Polar Vortex 2026 was forecast to hit us on Friday. And what followed was yet another school cancellation, which coincidentally occurred on the same day as opening night. A furious flurry of e-mails and text messages started flying. A pivot was incoming.

The Friday evening show was cancelled and moved to Saturday. Wait, but there was already a Saturday show scheduled. Well, that only meant a morning show AND an afternoon show were to be performed. As I picked Ava up from the final rehearsal, I could hear the student grumblings in the chilled air. A very, very long day awaited the performers. A double performance. An entire day of acting, dancing, and singing. It would be a musical marathon of Munchkin madness. The night before, Ava attempted to secure a good night of rest. Nonetheless, I could hear her tossing and turning throughout the night in the adjacent bedroom. Heck, I was restless as well. The morning soon arrived. I served up wheat toast with sunflower seed butter, sausage links, and sliced apples for a power breakfast. After breakfast, she vaulted upstairs for her makeup session with my wife. I gathered snacks and loaded her performance gear in the car, and off into the Polar Vortex we went.

I dropped off the girl and then drove home to pick up the rest of the family. Arriving at the high school again, we filed into the auditorium and found our seats – second row, right in front of the stage. We spotted family and friends dispersed throughout the crowd. Many friends and family braved the frigid cold and snow to show support. Grandparents, aunts, great-aunts, Godmother, cousins, neighbors, and sorority sisters (Alpha Kappa Alpha) of my wife came out to show love. Soon it was showtime. A live, slow instrumental to Over the Rainbow began to permeate the auditorium. In the darkened auditorium, the student portraying Dorothy soon was spotlighted alongside the aisle as she walked slowly toward the stage. My nerves began to heighten.

The opening scene was underway. I nervously waited for my daughter to make her dramatic (at least dramatic in my head) appearance. It was not long until she emerged onstage in her farmer’s attire, pushing a wheelbarrow. Injecting her own flavor into the role of Zeke, she delivered her lines with confidence and dramatic style. My eyes began to mildly water, but I retained my composure and soldiered through the first act with a dry, if not proud, face. Scenes transitioned, choreographed dances lit up the stage, and melodic songs echoed throughout the auditorium. And then it was over. First performance in the books, one more to go. Energized by lunch from Chicken Shack and a brief 2-hour intermission, it was time for the second performance. With possibly nerves and anxiety settled down, the second performance was better than the first. More energy. More nuance. More presence.

In the aftermath, Ava indicated that this was by far her favorite play to participate in at school. She was able to make new friends and learn exciting dances. She loved that each performer had the other’s back. When a fellow performer forgot a line, my daughter was able to think quickly on her feet and deftly improvise dialogue, so the scene did not awkwardly stall. Ava was tasked with 5 roles: Zeke, a Munchkin teacher, an Ozian, a Winkie, and Jitterbug. So, as expected, the costume changes between scenes were fast and furious. Nevertheless, Ava was able to seamlessly transition to her scenes without missing a step. And speaking of steps, the Jitterbug was her favorite dance sequence. A deleted scene from the movie, it is a swing-style dance number that has the Wicked Witch sending little bugs to infect our heroes with an insatiable urge to dance until exhausted. I must have been infected as well, because that song hung inside my head at least a few days after the musical was over.

The end of the second performance was bittersweet. It was a memorable journey, but this guy was tired. During the first few months of rehearsals, my son’s basketball league ran concurrently during the week. The tandem of play rehearsals, basketball practice, and basketball games made for a very hectic collection of months. I will be writing about that adventure as well. My son has become a basketball addict. So, I asked Ava if she had any advice for fellow students who were thinking about participating in a play. Here are some amateur tips below. Thanks for reading. I’ll see you all next time, somewhere over the rainbow, enjoying warmer weather.

Advice from Ava

  • A performer should watch videos with a focus on acting. Watching a lot of musicals would be beneficial as well.
  • It is helpful to study and memorize lines that do not belong to your character.
  • Practice your dance moves.
  • Vocal warm-ups and singing
  • Build up your courage.

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Living Your Best Life

February 4, 2026 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Living Your Best Life – Your Own Race to Run

January 29, 2026 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

In this sacred, shared experience that we define as life, a gentleman must recognize that the journey is a marathon, not a sprint. A gentleman must honor and respect the speed of his own lane. A gentleman must traverse his own unique course. He should not be persuaded to hastily navigate a path not properly aligned for his capabilities, principles, or purpose. Therefore, beware of the poseur who offers unwise counsel at your own personal peril. This includes the Internet influencers who identify individuals isolated in insecurity & ignorance. Utilizing sly manipulation, they marginalize the self-esteem and confidence of the very audience they claim to help.

Whether politician or podcaster, the presentation is primarily performative, a pathetic ploy to position the pretender as a paragon of power. Pain promotes the potential for profit. Misery is marketed for monetization. They establish the finish line, and they direct your movements to their desired outcome. Do not be hurried into decisions that are not your own. Do not be moved into a mindset where seeds of discontent are sown. Allow yourself forgiveness. Allow yourself grace. Allow yourself time to learn from life’s mistakes. And most important of all, run your own race at your decided pace.

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Black Thought

January 23, 2026 By in Black Thought Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

Audre Lorde

I can proclaim with absolute certainty, life will surely introduce varying degrees of difficult challenges and obstacles. Unsurprisingly, it is not uncommon for someone to feel discouraged from time to time. As a result, confidence and self-esteem may wane. Self-doubt can steadily begin to mold and shape reality.  The consequences can be devastating. Therefore, sometimes, you need to remind yourself of your God-given talents and strength. You must remember what makes you unique. To be fully transparent, I am guilty of providing fear the space to crowd out self-belief, aspiration, and resolve. Nevertheless, I wholly understand that if I strive to live in my purpose, I must cast away self-sabotaging thoughts. Trust, never second-guess that you are one of one. You are imperfectly unique in your power and purpose. Do not allow fear to hinder your success. To be sure, it is difficult. Negative intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming. Nevertheless, every now and again, you have to remind yourself just who you are!

Gentleman Hack – Let It Burn – How to Melt Candle Wax Evenly

January 20, 2026 By in Best Life, Gent Hints Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

At the beginning of the global COVID-19 pandemic, a significant number of my workforce were granted the privilege of remote work. So, in an effort to transform a room in my basement into a constructive work environment, I deployed various furnishings to create an inviting aesthetic. I thoughtfully procured wooden, rustic picture frames to complement the wood paneling of the room. I have a few ladder style bookshelves to house said wooden picture frames along with various books, artificial plants, and scented candles. During the last few years, I have come to love the smell of a fragrant candle. If experiencing an episode of tiresome stress, a great scented candle momentarily tethers me to a state of peace.

So much so, when Bed Bath & Beyond closed physical stores in 2023, and its Warm Flannel candle was discontinued, I was heartbroken. That sounds a little over the top – right? Nevertheless, that light and slightly sweet aroma had an incredibly calming effect that carried me through a few rough years. Sometimes when I was feeling slightly despondent, I would take a few moments, close my eyes, and just focus on the beauty of the scent. If but for a sliver in time, the aroma assuaged any ailments – either mentally or emotionally. Currently, Bed Bath & Beyond only has an online presence, but if the powers that be are reading this, bring back my Warm Flannel scented candle!

Now, given my affinity to scented candles, it would bother me when a candle would burn unevenly. I tried everything recommended to ensure the candle wax would burn evenly. I would trim the wick before the candle was lit and I would allow it to burn for 1-3 hours. However, tunneling and unsightly, lopsided candle wax would accumulate around the sides leading to wasted wax. Desperate, I scoured the Internet in search of a resolution. My probe led me to the curious practice of wrapping the candle with aluminum foil. The reasoning: The aluminum foil insulates the candle and reflects heat back toward the body of wax. The edges don’t cool as fast, and so in theory, there is a relatively equal burn across the candle’s surface.

Eager to see if this hack was real, I retrieved a torn sheet of Reynolds Wrap and intently fashioned an aluminum protective guard around the candle. And I’d be damned if the foil trick did not work? Of course, I took photographic evidence else no one would believe me. It looks rightly weird, an otherwise handsome candle jar adorned in Reynolds Wrap. With confusion, my wife questioned why my candle was wrapped in aluminum foil. Nevertheless, it extends the life of the candle with no wasted wax. It doesn’t take long to implement, and better still, you can reuse the foil for another candle! I hope this information is beneficial to a fellow candle lover – happy burning!

The Standard #62

January 14, 2026 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A concerned observation from a regular gentleman: An alarming number of modern men are afflicted with an impotence of integrity, intelligence, courage, and decency. And in a desperate measure to address said deficiencies, men have turned to an addictive narcotic, hoping to stimulate and erect their seemingly flaccid manhood – power. Utilized to advance the common good for society, power can be an invaluable tool wielded by the correct individual. However, power contained within the cold, calculating clasp of the callous can lead to calamitous consequences. Without question power is responsibility. Luke 12:48 states, “But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” As men, much is required, and we must govern ourselves accordingly.

And so, I offer an unequivocal, unapologetic opinion: There are too many men entrusted with power that are not responsible. Trafficking tension and weaponizing woe for personal profit, they cleverly utilize influence to intoxicate the masses. Beware of madness, mediocrity, and misogyny masquerading beneath a makeshift mask of masculinity. Do not be seduced by the sounds of melodic misinformation. And train one’s eyes and ears to identify empty bluster in a frail attempt to slyly conceal cowardice. For fear is an instrument wielded by individuals endowed with ineptitude and engulfed with insecurity. To be certain, a righteous gentleman will stand ten toes down on principles that are sound. A righteous gentleman understands that his masculinity is grounded in truth, dignity, honor, and respect. His strength is divinely designed to serve society and its people, as there is providential power in his purpose. I pray that you are living in your power to add virtue, morality, and goodness to this shared experience we call life.

All I Want for Christmas is…Peace of Mind.

January 1, 2026 By in Life, Self-care & Mental Health Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Greetings, I hope everyone had a blessed, safe, and happy holidays over the past few weeks. For legions of children across the globe, the most wonderful time of the year brings excited anticipation and curiosity, as meticulously (or perhaps not) wrapped gifts magically appear beneath Christmas trees in households the world over. And shortly thereafter, many adults gather to ring in the new year with much-needed hope and fruitful, new beginnings. Personally, the gift I desire the most does not physically arrive in beautiful wrapping paper, tucked quietly under a Christmas tree. And heading into the new year, it is something I hope to have in abundance – peace of mind.

For many people, peace of mind can assume a variety of forms. Personally, during this time of year, the delicate art of wrapping gifts provides that peace of mind. The crafty exercise allows my mind to slow down and focus intently on the objective at hand. On its surface, it may seem like a cumbersome task – more pain in the butt than peace. However, with each careful fold or playful tie of a ribbon, the satisfying reward of seeing the finished work is undoubtedly worth the time and effort.

It affords me a quiet space in my head to tap into my thoughts and harness my creativity. Sometimes, I just look at my gift-wrapping accessories that I have slowly acquired over the years. I begin to dream of different color and material combinations in my head, and in turn, how will I adorn the exterior of the gift. Sometimes a fold will present a pleasant challenge. The wrapping paper won’t be as crisp. Some delicate paper may even mistakenly rip. Other times, I will need to untie a bow and start the process from the beginning. Nevertheless, it is all a part of the process. Surely, dutiful practice sharpens one’s skills. And once a flow is established, I can crank out gifts like a true Santa’s workshop. Looking at the finished project fills me with pride.

Capitalizing on end-of-holiday sales, I have amassed a diverse assortment of wrapping paper, colorful twine, ribbon, miniature ornaments, bells, and everything else from cinnamon sticks to dried lemon peels. Believe it or not, I have been able to cut down on the yearly cost of materials by simply recycling discarded twine, ribbon, or yarn. Leftover wrapping paper (after a sheet has been cut to size) is rolled and stored for the following Christmas. And when the time arrives, I search through my holiday inventory to find the appropriate piece of material to successfully complete the task.

The holiday season is now over. I will probably immerse myself in my continuing health journey to clear my head space. That is of course until it is time to tend to my garden!

Style & Substance – Square in Square Geo Woven Silk Necktie – David Donahue

August 16, 2025 By in Style & Substance Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The old saying is slightly cliche, however, health is most certainly wealth. And to be certain, a gentleman’s health encompasses many facets representing the mind, body, and spirit. Now, the reference to wealth is not necessarily bound to the accumulation of monetary assets. Rather, in this context, it is the abundance and value of his personal human capital. It is human capital comprised of the aforementioned mind, body, and spirit. It is a gentleman’s responsibility to allot the proper care, resources, and management toward these three key areas. Being a good steward for one’s health and well-being should not be viewed as a complicated, fussy exercise. Simply, self-care should be intentional activities that encourage positive effects on your well-being.

For example, two weeks ago, I unexpectedly found myself temporarily freed from the duties of being a father and husband. Cognizant of the fleeting time I possessed, I escaped away to a local shopping mall. Once there, I treated myself to a good movie (The Fantastic Four) and procured a jazzy David Donahue necktie on sale for an incredibly low $33.00 – marked down from $135.00. I have a deep affinity in my heart for neckties. One could argue that I own too many (do not ask). Nevertheless, some gentlemen collect watches, others have tastes for fine liquor, and many others love cars. I on the other hand gravitate to the beauty of a lovely necktie. I like the feel of different fabrics, as well as looking at the beauty of diverse colors and decorative patterns.

The necktie pictured above boasts a rich, beautiful hue of plum that will pair nicely with either a lavender, pink, or solid white dress shirt. The necktie’s abstract, geometric pattern can playfully complement any conservative leaning dress shirt -think solid or striped- that hangs in a gentleman’s closet. The 100% woven silk adds subtle texture and a medium weight that is sure to guarantee an exquisite dimple along with a graceful drape. It was a great afternoon. If but for a few hours, I was able to enjoy the temporary emancipation from life’s demands. And when your plate is a full course meal of requests, problems, and conflicts that require a substantial amount of personal attention – it can be exceedingly overwhelming. Therefore, it is imperative that one carves out time to introduce calm into chaos. It can be as simple as a movie and necktie. Be well and be the first to put yourself first.

The Standard #61

July 28, 2025 By in Standard Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

To be certain, the respectable gentleman embraces a core principle of accountability. Now, when defining accountability, we understand it to be ownership of one’s actions and its subsequent outcomes whether it is positive or negative. Moreover, we understand that it is easier to embrace positive outcomes; those are of course more rewarding. However, unfavorable consequences challenge a gentleman to address his imperfections, failures, and transgressions. The exercise can be profoundly uncomfortable, yet it is an exercise that must be performed, nonetheless. Fleeing accountability is not some newfangled, novel notion of neglect. However, it seems as if individuals are currently abdicating responsibility at a breakneck pace. When dealing with transgressions, an essential component of accountability is acknowledging one’s role in the matter and learning from it. However, wisdom and knowledge cannot be gleaned from a lesson if the student skips the test. For the constitution of his character is clearly conveyed through a crucible of courage confessing culpability and contrition. A gentleman does not project anger, redirect faults, or offer empty excuses for his conduct. A gentleman’s objective is clear: admission, apology, and assiduous atonement. Adopt those standards to become a better gentleman, and moreover, a better human being.

Daddy Diary – Keep Going – Ava Palmer

July 16, 2025 By in Daddy Diary Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Our family has officially entered the era of continuous school events and/or recreational activities; it is never-ending cycle of hustle and bustle. Today, I wanted to share a highlight from one of those events – a poetry slam from my daughter’s school. Yes, this gentleman has gotten old. I vividly remember writing about her when she was born many, many years. Well, it seemingly feels that long. It has been long enough for her to discover my blog on the Internet and actually read about my documented adventures as a new father. I digress, she wrote many poems that were captured in her book of poems, but I thought this particular one captured her thoughtful and caring demeanor. I encourage her to write down her thoughts more often, but it is a constant battle with those pesky tablets. Ah, the joys of parenthood.

Keep Going

When things get rough, you have to toughen up
When you are sad, it is okay to cry
And sometimes find a quiet place to hide

When I lost my dog Lindsay
It was easy to say
Every day would never be the same

We had our moments, and that's okay
Every day is a new day
For the people that supported me - thank you

When she fell in front of me and went to sleep
I thought I would never play for another day

But Lindsay would want me to keep going
We love you Lindsay
You were great for all of your days

Living Your Best Life – Wisely Utilizing Time for Personal Growth & Development

July 8, 2025 By in Best Life Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Certainly, an idle mind can be the devil’s workshop. When a gentleman is not intentional or productive with his time, his mind may aimlessly drift into thoughts that lead into harmful vices, negative thoughts, or destructive actions. To be sure, time is a sacred commodity. And a gentleman should be a responsible steward of his time and focus. Devote your attention to matters that reinforce your purpose and add value to your life. The superficial cesspool of social media, sobering reality of current events, and general messy housekeeping of life can be draining and guide you down a toxic path. Instead, strive to connect yourself with the fruits of an abundant life and strong sense of self. The reward is more gratifying and fulfilling.

The plant pictured above was dying. My wife wanted to sentence it to a final resting place amongst our yard waste for weekly pickup. However, I wanted to challenge myself, and I was convinced that with a little attention and nurturing, it could thrive once again. Faint hues of green in the stems gave me a modicum of hope. So, I meticulously snipped away the dead parts and commenced the process of plant restoration. Two months into the Operation Lazarus has yielded beautiful results. Brown, decaying leaves have been replaced by healthy, vibrant green ones. When I pass it during my daily comings and goings, I am filled with a sense of pride and accomplishment Whether the task is large or small, I challenge you to occupy your time with a constructive task that presents both a challenge and reward. Give yourself purpose, utilize your time wisely, and focus on the best you.

The Professional – All That Yakety Yak – How to Handle a Talkative Colleague

June 27, 2025 By in Professional Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment
Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

You simply are not allowed to speak your peace or offer insight. In vain, you attempt to conjure the right words, but you are cut off or talked over. Sometimes, the other person is just talking a mile per minute. From time to time, you may encounter a belligerent colleague that just will not allow you to get a word in edgewise. You may also encounter a verbose colleague that monopolizes all of the oxygen in the room. The atmosphere may be tense, and they are determined to drive their point. You may feel frustration or exasperation. If you experience either scenario, please feel free to use the following sentences: You have to give me the opportunity to speak. If we are going to have a constructive conversation, and have a meaningful exchange of opinion or ideas, I must have the opportunity to add to the dialogue.

Now, everyone’s situation is going to vary, so I would humbly suggest you take my recommended verbiage and tailor it to fit your own specific circumstances. Your delivery should be calm, reserved, and definitely firm. Your tone should be serious. It should be worth noting that you may need to reiterate your point a few times. Some individuals will attempt to argue you into the ground. You must remain married to your talking points and not stray off course. And if you still cannot get a word in – terminate the conversation. There is no need to talk in meaningless circles. Your parting word should be your last word. And your parting word should look like the following: When you are prepared to have a substantive discussion, and I am an active participant, we can certainly reconvene the conversation. Have a nice day.