Living Your Best Life
Tag Archives: Mental Health
Living Your Best Life – Your Own Race to Run
In this sacred, shared experience that we define as life, a gentleman must recognize that the journey is a marathon, not a sprint. A gentleman must honor and respect the speed of his own lane. A gentleman must traverse his own unique course. He should not be persuaded to hastily navigate a path not properly aligned for his capabilities, principles, or purpose. Therefore, beware of the poseur who offers unwise counsel at your own personal peril. This includes the Internet influencers who identify individuals isolated in insecurity & ignorance. Utilizing sly manipulation, they marginalize the self-esteem and confidence of the very audience they claim to help.
Whether politician or podcaster, the presentation is primarily performative, a pathetic ploy to position the pretender as a paragon of power. Pain promotes the potential for profit. Misery is marketed for monetization. They establish the finish line, and they direct your movements to their desired outcome. Do not be hurried into decisions that are not your own. Do not be moved into a mindset where seeds of discontent are sown. Allow yourself forgiveness. Allow yourself grace. Allow yourself time to learn from life’s mistakes. And most important of all, run your own race at your decided pace.
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All I Want for Christmas is…Peace of Mind.
Greetings, I hope everyone had a blessed, safe, and happy holidays over the past few weeks. For legions of children across the globe, the most wonderful time of the year brings excited anticipation and curiosity, as meticulously (or perhaps not) wrapped gifts magically appear beneath Christmas trees in households the world over. And shortly thereafter, many adults gather to ring in the new year with much-needed hope and fruitful, new beginnings. Personally, the gift I desire the most does not physically arrive in beautiful wrapping paper, tucked quietly under a Christmas tree. And heading into the new year, it is something I hope to have in abundance – peace of mind.
For many people, peace of mind can assume a variety of forms. Personally, during this time of year, the delicate art of wrapping gifts provides that peace of mind. The crafty exercise allows my mind to slow down and focus intently on the objective at hand. On its surface, it may seem like a cumbersome task – more pain in the butt than peace. However, with each careful fold or playful tie of a ribbon, the satisfying reward of seeing the finished work is undoubtedly worth the time and effort.
It affords me a quiet space in my head to tap into my thoughts and harness my creativity. Sometimes, I just look at my gift-wrapping accessories that I have slowly acquired over the years. I begin to dream of different color and material combinations in my head, and in turn, how will I adorn the exterior of the gift. Sometimes a fold will present a pleasant challenge. The wrapping paper won’t be as crisp. Some delicate paper may even mistakenly rip. Other times, I will need to untie a bow and start the process from the beginning. Nevertheless, it is all a part of the process. Surely, dutiful practice sharpens one’s skills. And once a flow is established, I can crank out gifts like a true Santa’s workshop. Looking at the finished project fills me with pride.
Capitalizing on end-of-holiday sales, I have amassed a diverse assortment of wrapping paper, colorful twine, ribbon, miniature ornaments, bells, and everything else from cinnamon sticks to dried lemon peels. Believe it or not, I have been able to cut down on the yearly cost of materials by simply recycling discarded twine, ribbon, or yarn. Leftover wrapping paper (after a sheet has been cut to size) is rolled and stored for the following Christmas. And when the time arrives, I search through my holiday inventory to find the appropriate piece of material to successfully complete the task.
The holiday season is now over. I will probably immerse myself in my continuing health journey to clear my head space. That is of course until it is time to tend to my garden!
The Standard #58
To be absolutely clear, a hardworking gentleman understands the meaning and value of his tireless labor. And to be absolutely sure, the reality of fatherhood only heightens said understanding. Trust, this gentleman maintains a deep, fundamental comprehension of provision and the significance of being a contributor. And so, when seasons of life are absent peace or joy – perhaps both; it is not uncommon for him to lean heavily into his work; a passionate attempt to seek refuge and fulfillment by claiming, reasserting his own value to himself. Work is transformed into an instrument that exerts authority over one’s mental and emotional well-being. It is a blunt tool utilized to manage anxiety, stress, insecurity, and pain. He accepts the incredible burden of arduous work to unburden himself of heavier burdens – both emotional and mental. However, whatever accomplishments that are attained, the satisfaction is never truly satisfying. Frantic attempts for relief only lead deeper into work. The wise gentleman must conclude that work does not inherently grant him value. Rather, it is he that affords value to his work, to his friends, to his family, and to himself. So, if no one tells you today (and demonstrate through their actions); I am here to convey on behalf of countless gentlemen such as yourself; you are recognized, appreciated, respected, and loved.
Daddy Diary – Superman Is a Fictional Character, Kryptonite Is Real and Super Dads Are Mortal
Stubbornly, I awkwardly stumbled my way down the driveway to my Ford Fusion and plopped down in the driver’s seat. I placed the key in the ignition to start the engine, shifted into reverse, looked over my right shoulder to confirm clearance – nothing. I looked over my left shoulder – nothing. I shifted the car back into park, removed my keys from the ignition, stumbled to my porch bench and sat there defeated. Nothing. As I had previously peered over my shoulders to perform the ritual of ensuring clearance of stray objects or pedestrians, the nothingness wasn’t the absence of things I may run over, rather it was my vision. I could not clearly make out anything. And so, I sat on my porch bench, defeated, and phoned my wife inside the house to verify if she was going to pick up our son from school. Stubbornly, I was trying to perform the role of Superman, but I failed.
My health issues started the day before on August 4, 2020. I remember that day because I was driving to the polls to vote. As I made a left turn on Evergreen Road, I noticed my vision momentarily blurred as I entered the turn. As I made a mental note of the occurrence, I figured it perhaps a consequence of motion sickness as I sometimes suffer from time to time. However, this time was different because I was the driver and not the passenger. I noted the strange occurrence and continued on to vote with no problems. However, later that evening, I suffered a dizzy spell as I was bringing dinner to the table for the kids. It stopped me dead in my tracks and I had to find my bearings.
Don’t Push Me, Cause I’m Close to the Edge – Maintaining Sanity in a World of Insane Stress
I cannot accurately recite how many times she beckoned for my attention, but the urgency of her tone revealed that it had been more than a few times over. As my mother-in-law called my name, I sat blankly staring out of a window, quietly lost in a turmoil of thought – muted to my surroundings. Suddenly, I was fully present again. I cannot accurately identify the specific catalyst that triggered my temporary, unresponsive state. However, if I dedicate enough thought to the matter, it most likely was a perfect culmination of stress related to marriage, fatherhood, health, and work. Responsibility. Obligation. Accountability. In other words, the daily strain of life.
And absent personal time for proper reflection and meditation, the mind sporadically pivots from one stressor to next, until you slowly begin to detach from your immediate environment – thus perhaps explaining my stupor at the time. My focus was scattered. A multitude of issues converging within my mind simultaneously. The stress would also manifest itself in other aspects of life. Sometimes, I could not derive happiness from events that would normally bring joy. My interpersonal skills would sometimes suffer with people close to me, as I would disconnect and shut individuals out. My drive and energy were nonexistent. While I am certainly not a therapist, I have formulated some thoughts and strategies to combat my stress. I detail a few points below. Nothing is a perfect solution, but it makes stress more manageable.
Stress Relief for the Gentleman
- Recognize, perhaps, there is an issue. I’m just stating if you are feeling out of sorts and stress is becoming overwhelming, it is time to enact measures to address the current adversities burdening your spirit. Don’t ignore what is troubling your mind and spirit.
- Recruit wise counsel, because sometimes having a good sounding board is the perfect tool to help deflect negative energy and guide you in a positive direction. A trusted friend, companion, or trained professionals are excellent options.
- Ground yourself in a positive space. Existing in a constant flux of irritation, anxiety, anger, and sadness is corrosive to your mental, physical, and emotional health. Your frame of mind should align with the well-known Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Perform an activity that is therapeutic. Personally, writing this entry is that therapy for me, as finding fellowship with other gentlemen experiencing the same struggle is calming and reassuring to me. For other individuals, it could an athletic activity. It could be immersing yourself in your favorite arts & crafts, music, photography, gardening, etc. The selected exercise(s) that can soothe and ease your spirit – do it!
- Laugh. No really – laugh. Laughter stimulates the release of endorphins – hormones released within the body that grants a sense of euphoria. There’s nothing like a classic episode of Sanford & Son or Martin to get those endorphins flowing.
- Beware of vices that only serve to satiate your carnal spirit. Embarking down this rabbit hole of excess can be self-destructive, and while temporarily pleasing, it is ineffective addressing the underlying source of your stress and the management thereof.
- Get adequate sleep. Don’t deprive yourself of much-needed rest.
- A gentleman can employ some small, simple tools that bring a touch of happiness or calm. There isn’t a morning or night that I fail to look at pictures of my children on my cell phone. Sometimes I just sit in darkness and listen to the sound of thunderstorms on my Google mini (it reminds me of sitting on the porch with my late grandmother during rainstorms). I like pops of color and pleasant scents, therefore, I revamped my whole workspace (pictured above) with flowers, colored notepads, and potpourri. Where do you extract small measures of joy?