The Standard #3

Mountain

The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself. He alone determines and dictates the manner in which he is presented to the world. When he gazes into the mirror, the reflection of greatness should readily greet him. It does not begin with the clothing he chooses to attire himself in, nor the vehicle he selects to navigate city streets. Not the place of employment where he makes a living. Not the amount of money presently residing in his bank account. Why? Well, because character starts with his self-worth. His esteem is not erected upon a mountain of biodegradable materialism – subject to decay and waste. No, the gentleman’s image is based on gentlemanly fundamentals that are concrete and certain. Virtue. Honor. Principle. Forthrightness. The Gentlemen’s Standard.

The Polished Professional – The Man in the Mirror – Three Toxic Behaviors That Can Stop Your Career Advancement

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Hit dogs are probably going holler when they read this post. The purpose is not to offend; rather it is to enlighten. Because unfortunately, someone is currenting sabotaging their career right now with negative behavior. I just want to point out possible blind spots. Self-awareness is defined as having an understanding of your own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. For the purpose of this entry, the concentration will be on one’s actions, specifically in the work environment.

As an employee navigates the challenging terrain of the workplace, it is crucial to acknowledge and accept that one’s behavior has a direct influence over one’s career path. Therefore, a lack of self-awareness potentially deprives one of opportunities to identify areas in need of improvement and recognize how people around you react to your work ethic. Sometimes you really need to read the room. Have an honest conversation with yourself, do any of the points below describe how you act in the office? It just may be the reason why your career is stifled. Continue to read.

  • As an employee, you expend more time and energy attempting to exploit loopholes in company policies or undermine the organization as a whole by questioning every leadership directive out of spite. Being a staunch admirer of your own intelligence and skill; the sole goal is to outsmart the company or voice vigorous dissenting opinions – striving for maximum professional bedlam. Well, congratulations because you have officially branded yourself as either untrustworthy or cantankerous – maybe even both. And while your actions may not rise to the level of immediate termination; don’t expect career advancement any time soon. You are proving you do not align with the organization’s mission and vision. You do not add any value. And worst yet, you are most likely an exhaustive drain on leadership and your peers. And eventually, you just may be shown the door.
  • Your business is minding the business of your peers. And you never saw a bus too small to throw someone under. Yes, you are that type of employee that everyone despises. You are the type of employee that discloses private business offered to you in confidence. Your favorite hobby is snitching on fellow coworkers because you believe it elevates your status or perhaps you extract jollies from getting others in trouble. Sure, leadership may love gleaning valuable intelligence from their favorite informant, but trust, they will never elevate you above your current station. Your backhanded duplicitous nature does not exactly scream team player or leadership material. You lack respect from leadership and coworkers alike. You’re only useful at being used, and that is not position you should desire.
  • There is a clear distinction between being a righteous advocate for oneself and being a victim. Now, before everyone jumps all over me, yes, there are valid injustices in the workplace. And those occurrences should be identified and addressed accordingly. However, if you are repeatedly crying wolf absent supporting evidence & documentation to validate your assertions, your claims will lose credibility with each passing allegation. And honestly, the sad part is the aggrieved party knows full well that their grievances are without merit. Attention, good or bad, is still attention. Nevertheless, spoiler alert, no one likes drama. Work is already stressful. No one wants to welcome even more. Perhaps something more nefarious is afoot. Regrettably, perhaps it is just another ploy to work an angle for personal gain and subvert the system. This ties to the first bullet point above; lack of integrity and honesty is a surefire way to stall career advancement.

I understand there may be exceptions to the examples I listed above. However, odds are not in your favor if you embody any of the traits discussed here. Every now and again, one has to look in the mirror and determine if they are the source of their work problems and stagnant career. It may be difficult to confront yourself, but your growth and development will benefit in the long run.

Monday Morning Musings – Thoughts Weighing on my Heart & Mind 11.13.23

  • Halloween 2023Sometimes, ignorance truly is wonderful bliss. True indeed, life can be can suffocatingly stressful. Nowadays, I draw happiness and joy from the innocence of my children – like seeing them catch snowflakes with their tongues on Halloween.
  • True enough, happiness won’t always find you, but one can always identify something that fills you with gratitude.
  • I purchased a Vasagle coat rack from Amazon last week. A steel frame with four wooden shelves, it adds a touch of charm to my home office. A well-organized, tidy space allows me to think clearly and better.
  • While cleaning the office and identifying items for recycling, I came across some magazines that were ten to twenty years old. It is painfully obvious and amazing that the average gentleman is no longer the target demographic. During a time when classic men’s style was championed by popular men’s magazines; that is unfortunately no longer the case. The magazines are either defunct or cater to unreasonable, fashion extremes better suited for the quirks of Hollywood than regular ordinary life.
  • I graduated from Cass Technical High School in 1994 where preppy style was immensely popular amongst the student body. Maybe that is why I like that damn Polo Bear so much.
  •  Bed Bath and Beyond offered a wonderfully scented candle from the Heirloom Home collection. It was called warm flannel. The smell of that candle helped me through some rough days a few years back. The company declared bankruptcy and closed its brick-and-mortar locations. Acquired by Overstock.com, the Bed Bath and Beyond name currently existed online under the operations of a rebranded Overstock. Sadly, the Heirloom Home Warm Flannel candle is not available for purchase. I miss that candle.
  • Emotional pain is similar to a back injury. There is a certain degree of healing. However, what was before will never quite be the same. Some days will be better than others, but the pain will always exist in varying intensities. It will all depend upon how you handle it.
  • At my moderately advanced age, I cannot allow certain things stress or upset me. And so, watching the Detroit Pistons has been placed on deserved hiatus until the organization gets their act together.
  • Through a work benefit, I have a monthly standing appointment with a life coach to discuss my mental health and well-being. We do not talk about the Detroit Pistons.

Black Thought – Happiness

Alice Walker

“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”

Alice Walker

I won’t insult the audience with a platitude that sounds pleasing to the ears, and albeit well-intended, sadly lacks real world practicality. The unfortunate truth is that happiness is not a perpetual guarantee, nor promise for anyone. Your happiness and the pursuit thereof are your sole responsibility. Because, in this mutually shared event called life, we cannot be mere spectators allowing our joy to be dictated by the actions of others. To be clear, you must assume ownership of your own contentment and what affects you. To do otherwise is to unconditionally submit your well-being to uncertainty. Sometimes, you cannot control the environment around you. However, you can control your thoughts and how you react.

Far too often I have foolishly sacrificed my own wellness to please others; grossly mistaking that the gesture would be reciprocated. To enjoy a fulfilling return on your happiness; you must fully invest in yourself. You must allocate the necessary time and resources to fill your spirit with gratification and jubilance. Music is one of my outlets. So, when I cue either Stevie Wonder or Luther Vandross to play on my Google smart display, my spirits are instantly raised. I smile. I dance a little jig. I sing with a joyous heart. In that moment I am happy. If the moment presents itself – take it! And if not – make it!

Black Thought – Purpose

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“Real education means to inspire people to live more abundantly, to learn to live with life as they find it and make it better.”

– Carter G. Woodson

To be absolutely sure, a gentleman’s life earns new significance when he not only identifies his purpose, but he also cultivates that purpose into something tangible that benefits other individuals. It is tragically irresponsible when an accomplished gentleman attains a certain degree of success, only to be miserly and penurious with his blessings. For the blessed gentleman that enjoys prosperity and favor, it is critical that he utilizes his influence to encourage, empower, and educate the under-served, often neglected sects of our society.

When benevolence and compassion no longer exist in the hearts and minds of men, the quality of life for both the fortunate and less fortunate gradually diminish. And the best quality of life is something we should all strive to achieve – for everyone. So, operating within your domain of achievement, I urge the gentleman to re-purpose his purpose and seek to promote excellence and success in the lives those who are underprivileged. And going forward, hopefully, they will perform the same charitable act for someone else.

Monday Morning Musings – Thoughts Weighing on my Heart & Mind 10.30.23

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  • I can’t be more invested in the happiness and stability of another individual’s marriage or relationship more than they are – especially when said individual is a celebrity far removed from my ordinary, simple life.
  • Please stop letting social media and celebrities dictate how you view and govern your personal relationships.
  • Everything is not for public consumption. Our lives have become a marketable product repurposed to monetized; much to the detriment of our own well-being and the loved ones around us. Some things are best kept private.
  • There are just some forms of pain and hurt that time cannot heal. Despite the deep regret and best efforts to make amends, wounds afflicted to the heart and mind can be chronic.
  • Never allow an individual to devalue your worth and self-esteem. Take the time to reclaim you.
  • If available, please take advantage of mental health services that may be offered by your place of employment. Sometimes these services are totally free or have very low fees. You would be surprised that many people are either ignorant of its existence or just don’t take the steps to access the program.
  • Make a list of people you have not connected with in a long time. Call or text them. Let them know you were thinking of them and perhaps have a conversation that was long overdue.
  • God blesses us with the gift of a unique talent. It is a sacred resource that demands to be shared and enrich the lives of others.
  • Sometimes you need to be the voice and advocate for people absent from the room where decisions are made.
  • To be sure, the anointed venue is of importance, but so is enjoying the company of person with you – especially on a first date.
  • Parfums de Marly Althair was just released for fall. I had extremely high hopes. Upon sampling the fragrance, I was angry I wasted gas to drive to mall to put my nose on the hype. I smelled it both on a paper test strip and skin. Trapped in my car with the scent as I drove home, I could not wait to vigorously scrub my arm to rid myself of the smell. At $250.00 for 75ml or $350.00 for 125ml; this is definitely not blind-buy worthy. Try before you buy!
  • The new rose bush I planted in the backyard had one more bloom left. Despite progressively cooler weather and cloudy skies, this little rose found a way to bloom. In our lives, times may not be conducive for growth. However, no matter what season of life you are experiencing, understand that you have the strength to flourish in environment.

The Polished Professional – Listen Up, I Have a Story to Tell – How to Create a Winning Narrative for a Job Interview

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To be absolutely certain, the most prolific hip hop artists in history display the innate ability to tell vivid stories – the art of storytelling as many call it. The Notorious B.I.G. Nas. Scarface. These artists were able to lyrically weave a tapestry of detail throughout tracks that transported the listener directly into the song. Undoubtedly, the experience leaves an indelible mark on the listener’s memory. Effectively describing the most minute facets and capturing the emotion of a situation; artful storytelling is a powerful tool that engenders engagement. That being stated, communicating an engaging story is not only a useful device in songwriting, it can also elevate a job interview above a fellow job seeker. When I have sought job opportunities, my interview style is conversational, detailed, and personal. I want the interviewer fully invested in my answers and my narrative.

And that is exactly what a candidate should be constructing – a compelling narrative; something not easily forgotten. Now, I cannot assign a hard number to the amount of job interviews that I have conducted or been involved in, but well into the hundreds is not unlikely. I have noted, over the course of many years and varying interviews, there are two distinct areas in an individual’s interview that tend to be flawed: the interviewer’s questions are not directly answered and the level of detail is severely lacking. The result is a bland, underwhelming experience that renders the interview forgettable, or alternatively, memorable due to the overall awful performance. Today, I want to offer some simple advice that may prove to be helpful while improving how you execute your interview.

6 Essential Tips for a Winning Interview

  • Without a doubt, the daily grind of employment will grant the gentleman a wealth of material for proper utilization during an interview. It is this information gathering that will lay the foundation for your interview preparedness. The gentleman would be wise to document specific work events that highlight teamwork, effective communication, critical thinking, and leadership. Microsoft OneNote is an excellent choice of software to gather and store this type of pertinent information. A manila folder, an electronic folder on your desktop, or Word document – whatever your choice for information tracking; ensure you are saving your notes.
  • Now that you have gathered all relevant information that demonstrates why you deserve the position, it is time for the next step in your job preparedness. A gentleman must now organize his thoughts, commit those selected work events to memory, and practice his delivery to an audience. I am a strong proponent of employing the STAR method – Situation, Task, Action, and Result. This technique allows the job candidate to provide structure to thoughts and articulate them in an organized fashion. Responding to an interview question that is intended to assess job viability; the candidate will first describe the situation at hand, what task or objective was proper for the situation, the action that taken to achieve the objective, and the concluding result. Bonus: A candidate can add another R for reflection, which basically captures what the candidate learned and how they matured professionally from the experience.
  • The job candidate must ensure that the emotion of the situation is addressed and articulated. Now, keep in mind, this is not the time to be overly dramatic and theatrical. Your heart doesn’t have to race faster than a cheetah across the African wilderness hunting prey. Rather, it was a tense situation and you were slightly anxious as you addressed the pressing issue. A candidate should clearly represent the stakes at hand so the gravity of the situation is completely understood.
  • As a candidate is describing a certain event in detail, it is paramount that the story contains specifics. Be sure to take advantage of adjectives and proper nouns. Again, please note, now is not the time to break out the thesaurus. However, the addition of a few small details can allow one candidate to shine brighter than another. Please see example below and note the differences.
      1. One night, I had to place an overnight order right before cut-off time for delivery. There were a lot of items on the purchase order that I had to place, but I was able to successfully get the order in with the vendor.
      2. One late evening, approximately 30 minutes before Medtronic’s cut-off time for shipping, I had to place an order for 100 items for overnight delivery. Given the large amount of items that had to be ordered, I asked the customer service representative if I could fax or e-mail the order to the vendor. Unfortunately, the order could only be placed verbally over the phone. That news was a little disappointing and stressing, but it had to get done. Therefore, I had to place the order accurately and efficiently with the CS rep to beat the cut-off time. So, item by item, I read off the manufacturer number to the CS rep and in turn she read it back for confirmation. To save time, she would only notify me of any back-ordered items after the order was loaded into the system. In the end, we were able to get all but 5 items placed for overnight delivery, and I notified the hospital regarding the 5 items on back-order with their release date. I also provided their sales representative’s contact information for a follow-up if a substitute item was required.
    • A candidate should ask thoughtful questions. Yes – salary, benefits, and shift are all credible inquiries. However, a candidate with a genuine interest regarding a position should ask questions that put the interviewers back on their heels. What challenges are they facing as a department or company? Do they promote a culture that rewards and retains its quality employees? Do they promote growth and development within the workforce? Of course, your questions will be tailored to suit your company of choice. For example, I applied for a position a few years ago, and I posed a question somewhat like this: With the Affordable Care Act reducing the rates of reimbursement for Medicare and Medicaid; how aggressive are your standardization projects for med. surg. products to help offset that potential monetary loss for the organization? I did my due diligence researching the position I wanted. Serious, thoughtful questions illustrate an honest curiosity that will surely garner respect and appreciation.
    • As a job candidate, it is vitally important that you provide a brief summation of your qualifications and attributes as a future employee. You must present yourself as an asset that adds value to the company. This is your closing statement. At this point, the company’s mission statement and vision should be intimately familiar. Definitely, you should fully understand the role and responsibilities of the open position being sought after. Now it is time to deftly connect your best qualities to those areas and confidently argue why you are the best candidate. I highly suggest identifying 4-5 adjectives that best describe you professionally. Be thoughtful, sincere, and open. Remember: Craft an engaging narrative that answers questions directly while displaying critical thinking and showcasing your best traits.

Well, there you have it; just a few key pointers that I have extracted from experience over the years. I hope the information will be beneficial to job seekers reading this post. Good luck!

Style & Substance – Home Office Decor – Apple & Cinnamon Scented Pinecones

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Days are progressively shorter. Temperatures are quietly declining. And look out – stores are already stocking shelves with Christmas merchandise. Yes, it is officially autumn. Autumn is absolutely my favorite season of the year. It is replete with a wide, wonderful array of warm hues, beautiful textures, and euphoric fragrances. Fun fact about me: Over the years I have developed an affinity for home decor. Since transitioning to a work-from-home environment, I have fully embraced the practice of decorating my humble workspace with stylish & unique accents. The pinecones pictured above having been calling my name for a few weeks now. And so, while out for groceries at Market Fresh, I decided to stop procrastinating and purchase these apple & cinnamon scented beauties gifted from nature.

Generally, I lean favorably toward rustic sensibilities, but these pinecones also afford a touch of an earthy, unexpected sophistication to my work environment. Pleasing to the senses, the sweet & spicy combination fills my office with a calming and cozy aroma. So, when the workday becomes challenging, I strive to absorb all the refined furnishings around me to comfort my spirit and relax my mood. At only $5.99 for a bag of 10-12 pieces, I adore the aesthetic and scent these pinecones provide my home office space. I provided a home in the form of a simple glass platter for display. If you currently have a home office but have yet to add an aromatically & visually stimulating accent to your space, I highly recommend adding a dash quiet refinement to your room. However, if you have already decked out your work environment with stylish splendor, I invite you to share your own experience or recommendations for home office decor. I look forward to hearing from you.

The Standard #60

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On the arduous, sometimes uneven path of a gentleman’s life, it is paramount to remain firmly grounded in gratitude. Trust and truly believe: Tribulation must be tempered by sincere thankfulness. Afterall, life’s journey can be wrought with pain, sadness, and an uncertainty that can methodically erode one’s spirit – if one’s fortitude lacks the necessary strength to allow it. Now, it is important to be mindful that during this continuous journey, a gentleman’s thoughts become a loyal, steadfast companion. And when adversity wounds the spirit, those thoughts stubbornly can bind to mental and emotional hurt. It is an unhealthy marriage of pain and familiarity.

Because, when hurt is intense and intimate, sometimes we subconsciously cling to events that aggrieve us the most. It is a perplexing, discomforting comfort. However, preoccupation with past pain can prohibit a productive future and preclude a pleasing present. Life is too important, too deceivingly fleeting to sacrifice energy on the altar of regret and woe. The blessings of today beg much-required attention. Today, compile a list of things/events that require praise and thanks. And so, when life presents challenges or your thoughts drift away to revisit sadness, refer to your list to offer levity, clarity, and balance. Lift up your heart with graciousness and celebrate the life you deserve.

The Standard #21

The Obamas

The gentleman should never underestimate the magnitude of a cheerful, happy disposition-especially when that attitude is displayed towards his children. Sure, discipline is a vital function required to raise children. However, the totality of child rearing must be equal parts discipline and equal parts love. He cannot levy seventy-five percent discipline and only twenty-five percent love. And that discipline cannot be driven by anger. That would be unwise. Listen, a gentleman cannot walk around with a scowl etched on a rigid face of granite all the time. Smile. Laugh. Sing. As a father, it is incumbent that he sets the appropriate tone and atmosphere for his household. Children need to witness him being more than that guy who trudges to and from work.

Tired. Irritable. Unhappy. Trust this: children are much more perceptive than you award credit, and they absorb the negatively charged climate that you have helped create. Stop. The time has arrived for you to glide through the door and welcome your family with a fresh, joyous attitude. They deserve it. You deserve it. Will it be like that every day? Probably not. Nevertheless, trust that your efforts will not give audience to blind eye. Your children will definitely notice, and they will love you even more. Doesn’t it feel fantastic?

The Standard #59

Clouds

A gentleman must always govern himself with honesty and accountability. To be clear, no one wants to feel the stinging, possible embarrassment of failure; especially when one’s failure is publicly consumed, digested, and analyzed. Even so, a man provides himself a personal disservice when truth is ignored or spun to reflect a more comfortable interpretation. Sometimes, a gentleman should be comfortable with discomfort. Sometimes, discomfort is the only thing that can foster adaptation and growth. And so, it is important to understand that it is okay to acknowledge and accept one’s failures. Absent shame, a gentleman should not be defined by a moment or undesirable result; rather he is molded by the individual paths along his journey. And the journey can be arduous.

He is forged by trials that challenge and shape his very character. Please understand, experiencing a failure in life is not equivalent to being a failure as a person. An intelligent gentleman must harness the strength and wisdom to comprehend the distinction. However, a man must recognize any pertinent lessons that are ready to be learned. Success should never be observed as an absolute certainty. Because, if a gentleman keeps living life, failures are more than likely to occur. It is important those failures are recognized, placed in its proper context within a gentleman’s life, and then utilized to achieve any future desired goals. Success is the total sum of our failures, meaningful self-reflection, stubborn change, and willingness to embrace the continued, dogged pursuit of your aspirations.

Daddy Diary – Up, Up, & Away – How to Deal with a Bully & Make Your Child Feel Like a Superhero

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My young daughter is very sensitive, and not uncommon for her age, she can be very naive about the world. I find myself reminding her that people can sometimes be mean-spirited and unpleasant. Until this year, her education has been at private institutions. Now, as she has transitioned to third grade and the public school system, the new environment is bit different. Being a young girl of color, and given the demographics of our community, there was a certain level of unease as parent when we selected her school. Sure, the school was rated very high academically, but still a degree of trepidation remained regarding her adjustment and possible treatment by other children. As we all know, children can be especially cruel. Thus far the school year has been fine, well, aside from the ongoing battle of bringing homework and books home. Nevertheless, we did hit our first bump a few weeks ago.

Ava in enrolled in chess club, and two little boys mustered up the words to question her intelligence and explicitly state that she sucked. She handled the situation well and ignored their insults (she fire back at one of the boys with a “shut up”). However, one of the boys had been escalating his bad behavior, once even taking her undergarments in swim class and teasing her in front of other kids. My daughter is not the most organized, everything flies out of her book bag from water bottles to inhalers, so he spotted her undies and decided to be a prankster. Not cool. Not cool at all. It was time for an adult intervention. Now, I would like to offer a full disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist of any kind. As a parent you draw upon the wisdom you have gathered throughout the years, and you attempt to raise your kid(s) the proper way. So, take the following advice with a grain of salt. Below are a few tips how we approach bullying and self-esteem in our household.

  • Granted, you cannot fully shield your child from an ill-natured world. Of course, you do your best to protect them from harm or things that do not align with your family’s core values. However, sooner or later, your child will experience a confrontation that may threaten their self-esteem, confidence, or overall well-being. And so early on, I have preached to both my children that they need to develop thick skin. What does that mean? Every action does not require a reaction. I make them aware that everyone is not going to be their friend. I make them aware that not everyone is kind. Everyone will not have their best interests at heart. And in the event that they are confronted by a bully, sometimes, it is best to just walk away if possible. I teach my kids to be aware of their surroundings at all times and never allow someone to aggressively invade their space. If a situation escalates to a physical confrontation, throwing hands should be a last resort if forced. If possible, seek out an adult. Sometimes utilizing one’s voice can be enough to back down an aggressor that feeds off fear. Bullies are generally outliers to accepted social standards; calling that out and standing up for oneself communicates that bully’s behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
  • However, words can still certainly sting. Fists can sting even more. As a parent it is your responsibility to build, reinforce, and protect their blossoming confidence before they even experience their first bout of torment. To stand tall against a bully, a child needs mental and emotional fortification. All of this is made possible through your active involvement in their lives. Trust, a parent can be present in the home, yet absent in their child’s life. These conversations happen during dinner, science fairs, baseball games, and chess tournaments. Being fully present in their lives is the foundation for the open communication and close relationship that is required.
  • It is always best for a parent to lead by example. It is crucial that a home has its own set of core values that the family follows. It is important that set of beliefs is instilled within your children. Especially in the case with my son, I always use myself as standard that he should model his behavior after. True, he has his own personality, but children are like sponges soaking up everything around them. Therefore, great care should be deployed to ensure their development is grounded in integrity, respect, and civility. You should be providing the template that they govern themselves after accordingly. It starts with you. Your child will be confident knowing they are backed by values championed by your household.
  • Educate, encourage, and empower your children. I reaffirm their intelligence. I reaffirm their pride in their physical characteristics. I reaffirm their self-worth by explaining they are loved and appreciated by family & friends. And I reaffirm their love for themselves. I praise good behavior and hard work. I teach them to give their absolutely best and never take shortcuts. And I teach them to lift up others in need absent ridicule or judgement.
  • Lastly, as a parent, you sometimes have to demonstrate a show of strength. What do I mean by show of strength? Your child needs to see that you have their back and be willing to defend them. I ALWAYS ask my daughter how her day was at school and if people were kind to her. Why? Because, if Dad ever becomes aware of any school shenanigans, action is going to be taken to remedy the situation. In the case outlined in the first paragraph, it required dual conversations (Mom & Dad) with the assistant principal (he was receptive and took immediate action) to address and resolve the matter. Generally, when I pick Ava up from chess club, I pull up curbside and she hops in the car. However, around this time, I made sure I escorted her from the school door to the vehicle. Subconsciously I wanted her to feel at ease and protected with Dad there. Following up on the situation, I routinely ask if any other problems had occurred. Thus far, that situation has been put to rest. I told Ava we would take care of the situation and we followed through with that promise. I believe that is extremely important as you build trust and credibility with your kid(s).

Again, I want to reiterate that I am not a licensed expert regarding today’s subject matter. If your child is experiencing bullying or low self-esteem, I recommend you seek professional assistance for your child. However, I hope you have been able to glean a bit of insight from my experiences. Of course, this is not an exhaustive list of advice. I am sort of rambling off the top of my head. I would love the audience to chime in with some positive advice of your own. Please like, share with friends, and subscribe to this site if you enjoyed the read. Thank you in advance.

The Standard #45

Mountain

A wise gentleman understands that his reward and blessings in life are not entirely his own to selfishly possess. Rather, his reward and blessings are meant to fuel his purpose, and his purpose – in some form or another – should be enhancing and adding value to the lives of other people. To be sure, a gentleman’s objective in life should not be driven by a concerted focus to facilitate personal gain, especially at the costly expense of other individuals. The wise and prosperous gentleman understands that material wealth is meaningless if it is not utilized to cultivate prosperity with other members in society.

A gentleman’s service may arrive in the form of monetary value, educational and knowledge sharing, or granting valuable time with his presence. Truly, however, whatever a gentleman gives of himself to bless the life of another person is wholly his own decision. Surely the accomplished gentleman understands that his own blessings are most likely have been assisted by a helping hand – seen or unforeseen. Today, identify and recognize your own blessings and how they can positively impact the life of someone who could really reap the benefits. Someone is in need right now.

Black Thought – Authenticity

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“Authenticity is my rebellion.” – Viola Davis

Trust and be assured, you possess an extraordinary power when you hold fast to your authentic self. Emboldened with unwavering confidence and a stubborn commitment to one’s core values; you will not acquiesce or conform to either popular trends or a status quo that stand in sharp contrast to your own principles. And while being exposed to a variety of opposing, external influences; you remain unbothered and unaffected because you are rooted unmistakably in your truth. Sometimes, you boldly swim against a powerful current of popular opinion. Now, such rebellion could be met with certain labels. And that is okay. It is what defines our uniqueness. The definition of self must be written by its author. And you are the author of your own book – ghost writers need not apply. To be your true self is what grants you strength, courage, and drive. Absent hesitation, regret, or embarrassment; your rebellion is your originality. Trust and be assured, your authenticity is unapologetically you and only you.

The Polished Professional – 5 Utterly Fantastic Ways to Flub a Job Interview

Do you despise the mere thought of working? Do you enjoy unemployment, but outside forces beckon you to peruse Indeed? Do you want it to seem as if you are searching, but secretly you want to botch the next interview? Well friend you are in the right place. I kid, I kid. Today, I am here to assist you in your job hunt. And today, I want to make sure you are not committing any terrible offenses in your job interview. To be sure, interviewing for a job can be an extremely stressful experience. It is an audition of sorts for meaningful employment. The stakes are indeed high, and there lies a myriad of ways a candidate can effectively blow an interview. In this post, I won’t painstakingly state the blatantly obvious. The obvious? Well, for starters, showing up with Jack Daniel’s seeping out of your pores, slurring your speech, and stumbling about the premises.

A word to the wise: Calm your nerves with an adult beverage of choice AFTER your interview. Trust me, you will thank me later. No, today I offer advice regarding unforced errors you may be committing as seek your dream job. Well, perhaps, not exactly your dream job. Regardless, you don’t want foolish mistakes standing between you and a coveted paycheck. Now, this is just the opinion of a man that has interviewed hundreds of job seekers. Nevertheless, it is my sincere hope that you are able glean some wisdom from the advice below.

  • As a potential employee interviewing for a job, it is simply idiotic to express or voice prejudice toward individuals based on characteristics such as race, gender, age, or sexual orientation. Trust me – it occurs. Strong opinions regarding your previous employer outsourcing your job offshore to individuals with limited English – keep it to yourself. If working with the opposite sex elicits acrimonious feelings deep within your soul – keep that under wraps. Proudly waving the flag, representing your generation of workers – don’t deride others as you bathe in your own greatness. In a job interview, you must not assume the interviewer(s) belong to your tribe. And to be honest, if you belong to any of the aforementioned tribes, you might want to practice some self-examination and refine your core values.
  • As a supervisor that has interviewed hundreds of job candidates, I prefer my time not totally wasted. So, showing up to an interview totally unprepared is not acceptable. To be perfectly clear, I am not referring to any form of anxiety that may intrude and potentially derail your interview. A case of the nerves is understandable, and nervousness may present as being unprepared. However, a seasoned interviewer should be able to discern the difference. What does an unprepared candidate look like? An unprepared candidate cannot recite their work history clearly, they do not understand the basic requirements & responsibilities of the desired position, and they display a lack of genuine curiosity regarding the company or job itself – outside of salary and paid time off. Do the homework. Granted, you don’t need to recite the full history of the company itself. However, ensure that you adequately educate yourself regarding the company’s mission and vision, as well as the core responsibilities of the position itself.
  • No company wants to hire a malcontent. Sure, a candidate may be able to pull a fast one and mask their discontentment from the hiring manager(s). Nevertheless, there are individuals that are terrible poker players and show their hand straightaway in the interview. They launch headfirst into the interview on fire. Unabashed and unfiltered; they proceed to complain, name, shame, and blame. Oh yes. They name-drop previous or current management figures they despise. They blame and shame colleagues they hate. And they complain about company culture & policy whilst eschewing accountability and growth. Fantastic. Seriously, with those factors working in your favor, who wouldn’t want to hire you? The company you are aspiring to work for – that’s who.
  • So, we have established that a bad attitude toward previous or current employment will hinder a job opportunity. Now, let us talk about how a bad attitude directed at the hiring manager(s) is also a foolish, if not bold approach to a job interview. Yes indeed, a sure way to tank an interview is to stroll into a room with a cantankerous, condescending, or arrogant demeanor. Being the subject matter expert that you proclaim; you talk over the interviewer, force answers before a question is even finished, and even project an unpleasant attitude if the series of questions or details about the job annoy you. You might as well fold your arms, kick your feet up on the table, and beckon the hiring manager(s) to bow before your greatness. No worries superstar – you won’t receive the opportunity again.
  • If you are interviewing for a job, it is best to remember that honesty is the best policy. Misrepresenting one’s qualifications and work history will turn a first impression into a last impression. Now, you may be wondering how an interviewer would be able to know a candidate is being dishonest. Well, an experienced interviewer will be able to see through the facade of fanciful lip-service and grandiose declarations. An experienced interviewer should be able to discern a verbal hustle by deploying probing and follow-up questions to a candidate’s previous answers. It is no different than spotting any liar that will dance around an issue and never answer a question directly. You may believe you are being sly, but do not be surprised if that job offer eludes you. Sure, there are individuals that may be able to hustle their way to a level of success. However, you are only performing a disservice to your professional growth and development. And sooner than probably later, you will have to account for your deeds.