Monthly Archives: November 2023

Living Your Best Life – Self-acceptance

November 25, 2023 By in Life Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

wp-17004456890914547504081630519463Years ago, an individual thought it was proper to mock my lifestyle because I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t smoke, and I don’t really attend large social gatherings often. I am somewhat of an introvert, and I would rather enjoy my own company along with a select few friends and family. My assumption is my lifestyle would be classified as “square”. I was being harshly judged and roundly ridiculed. Now, the subject matter does not garner a lot of mainstream conversation, but men can often be subject to societal scrutiny.

It is a scrutiny that evaluates and determines our masculinity based upon the ability to perform XY & Z. And if a man does not check enough of the proverbial boxes, well, then he is somehow less of a man. Opinionated circles and social media platforms will constantly bombard men with questionable beta versus alpha arguments (really just sensationalized clickbait), but truthfully, we all just trying to make it through our lives how we know best. Now, true enough, self-improvement should be a part of anyone’s life. And one should always strive to become a better version of themself.

Nevertheless, one must be careful of attempting to become an inauthentic version of oneself. Never compromise your character and integrity to appease and satisfy the requirements of someone else’s standards. Afterall, those said standards may not align with your own moral code or beliefs. One should never rise to reach lowered expectations. Embrace all of your personal attributes that make you…you. And love yourself unconditionally. I cannot express that enough because men need to talk about it more. Love yourself man! Look, I cannot change a tire. I cannot hang drywall. I cannot change the brakes on a car. However, I can: mow & maintain a beautiful lawn, cook some utterly delicious shrimp & grits, communicate on a level that inspires and commands respect, and decorate a space with beautifully coordinated home accessories. And I’m a pretty good father – at least I believe it so.

Check the Christmas chipmunk you see above. I was shopping at Michaels when I spotted some odds and ends. I’m pretty creative, so my mind started assembling these separates to create a cute little Christmas display for the breakfast nook. That is what I like to do, that is who I am, and it brings happiness to my spirit. Embrace your God-given talents and live by your own moral code; allow no one else to dictate otherwise. Love you!

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What I’m Wearing Right Now – Dior Fahrenheit

November 25, 2023 By in Style & Substance, What I'm Wearing Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

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To be quite honest, unquestionably, Dior Fahrenheit is not the type of fragrance that will endear itself to the noses of gentlemanly masses. Perhaps the shift by designer fragrances toward sweeter, unisex scents have greatly influenced today’s market. So, Fahrenheit’s aggressive and serious scent profile could be reasonably unappealing and surprising to many men. Personally, I like the boldness of the old-school, masculine vibe that Fahrenheit superbly offers. Because sometimes, the moment calls upon a robust scent that exudes ruggedness and strength to perform. And this is especially true when a gentleman is challenged to shift toward the cooling temperatures of autumn and winter. Possibly staring down the approach of inclement conditions; striking the right notes (see what I did there) can set the tone for the season.

Top notes are nutmeg flower, lavender, cedar, mandarin orange, chamomile, hawthorn, bergamot and lemon. Middle notes are violet leaf, nutmeg, cedar, sandalwood, carnation, honeysuckle, jasmine and lily-of-the-valley. Base notes are leather, vetiver, musk, amber, patchouli and tonka bean. Many describe it as having a strong gasoline odor, but I think those sentiments are greatly exaggerated – unless a gentleman goes absolutely berserk with the atomizer. It is a deep, warm fragrance with firm touches of leather and wood. Fahrenheit demands the presence of a leather jacket, shearling, denim, corduroy, boots, flat caps and woolen fabrics – not all at once of course. Best suited for late afternoon or evening wear; Fahrenheit is an unapologetic, long-lasting scent that can instill confidence, readiness, and boost self-esteem. It definitely has a home in my cold season rotation. What is a mainstay in your cologne rotation during this season?

Gentlemen’s Review – Balls Trimmer V2

November 21, 2023 By in Grooming, Review Tags: , , 2 Comments

wp-17005455321073121085466371548828Okay, I have to be totally honest with the audience. I was a little hesitant to review this male grooming product. However, we should all be adults congregating here. And besides, male grooming is no longer a taboo subject that threatens a man’s masculinity. Right? The fact of the matter is this: No matter what part of the body we are discussing; a well-groomed area can be beneficial for both personal hygiene and appearance. In this particular case, we are discussing a gentleman’s private area. Trust me. Make any reference to harming anything in his groin region, and then watch that gentleman instantly clutch his thighs together in imaginary pain.

Therefore, I fully understand why blades vibrating at 6,200 RPMs near the nether region does not sound particularly desirable. Nevertheless, as I mentioned before, a well-groomed area (down there) has the potential to reduce odor and bacteria that cling to your overgrown manliness. And while I can’t promise a trimmer will transform you into an adult film star (Dirk Diggler anyone?), a trimmer can showcase you a little more and visually add some length – which could boost confidence and self-esteem. And if you happen to participate in relationships between consenting adults; your partner may be more inclined to travel downtown for some sightseeing and fun activities. So, here’s hoping I don’t get myself into a pickle and get the shaft from the company by nicking myself from a bad product. I’m doing this for you guys!

  • First, let me address the huge elephant in the room – the branding. Yes, the branding is unbelievably juvenile worth a snicker or two. And yes, being a gentleman with young children in the home, I should not need to hide this boxed grooming product like a sex toy. Seriously, even sex toys arrive with more discreet packaging – not that I would know anything about that. Look, I just wish the presentation and overall branding was a little more modest. It did serve up a few light-hearted chuckles though.
  • The trimmer is lightweight, sleek (5.9 inches), and easily fits inside the palm of your hand. If I did not know any better, I would surmise that the slightly contoured trimmer was phallic in design and presentation. I am certain that was no accident.
  • The trimmer has a matte finish and is waterproof. I did not use it in a running shower, nevertheless, it was easy to grip doing usage. It was easy to handle, and clean-up was a quick rinse under the faucet (the blades don’t rust).
  • Near the, um, head of the trimmer; it is equipped with a bright LED light that helps illuminate angles in hard to view areas. Combined with curved design, I found it very user-friendly while navigating and shaving. The ceramic blades have a removable guard that can be adjusted up to three lengths. The longest length really is not needed unless you have ZZ Top rocking at the bottom. You can take the guard off, but you better exhibit some patience along with a steady hand. This is not the type of routine one would want to rush through. With the guard on at the shortest possible length, the trimmer performed a serviceable job. You won’t be smooth like a dolphin, but you won’t have Bigfoot between your legs either.
  • If I were to nitpick, I wish the cradle that holds the trimmer was a little more solid. I would not describe it as flimsy, but the trimmer does not feel quite as secure when positioned inside and could easily topple over. And the USB charging cord does not have a charging brick. This is a grooming tool meant for the bathroom, so my preference would be to have it plug directly into a wall socket. So, you will need to find a charging brick to use in conjunction with the charging cord. I am sure you don’t want to be charging this bad boy up from your laptop with tiny bits of hair finding its way on your keyboard. 
  • The company claims that a single blade is good for shaving approximately one gorilla, but this gentleman is unwilling to test that theory. Just be comforted that a replacement blade can be purchased for $24.00 on their website.
  • The Balls Trimmer is competitively priced and is a competent grooming tool for men. It’s easy to use with the “sack-safe” guard providing reassurance that you won’t nick yourself. I managed to stay out of the emergency room during my test run. There are a few things I would change such as the trimmer cradle and USB charging cord, but it would depend on your own personal preference. That may not be a deal breaker for you. The company appears to be all in with the suggestive branding, but that may deter few from buying the product. 
  •  MSRP $69.00 – Black Friday 25% off sitewide
  • Included with trimmer: charging cable, cleaning brush, and trimmer cradle.
  • Website link HERE
  • Amazon link HERE

The Standard #3

November 18, 2023 By in Standard Tags: , , , Leave a comment

Mountain

The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself. He alone determines and dictates the manner in which he is presented to the world. When he gazes into the mirror, the reflection of greatness should readily greet him. It does not begin with the clothing he chooses to attire himself in, nor the vehicle he selects to navigate city streets. Not the place of employment where he makes a living. Not the amount of money presently residing in his bank account. Why? Well, because character starts with his self-worth. His esteem is not erected upon a mountain of biodegradable materialism – subject to decay and waste. No, the gentleman’s image is based on gentlemanly fundamentals that are concrete and certain. Virtue. Honor. Principle. Forthrightness. The Gentlemen’s Standard.

The Polished Professional – The Man in the Mirror – Three Toxic Behaviors That Can Stop Your Career Advancement

November 15, 2023 By in Professional Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

photography of laptop computer camera smartphone headphones and mug

Hit dogs are probably going holler when they read this post. The purpose is not to offend; rather it is to enlighten. Because unfortunately, someone is currenting sabotaging their career right now with negative behavior. I just want to point out possible blind spots. Self-awareness is defined as having an understanding of your own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. For the purpose of this entry, the concentration will be on one’s actions, specifically in the work environment.

As an employee navigates the challenging terrain of the workplace, it is crucial to acknowledge and accept that one’s behavior has a direct influence over one’s career path. Therefore, a lack of self-awareness potentially deprives one of opportunities to identify areas in need of improvement and recognize how people around you react to your work ethic. Sometimes you really need to read the room. Have an honest conversation with yourself, do any of the points below describe how you act in the office? It just may be the reason why your career is stifled. Continue to read.

  • As an employee, you expend more time and energy attempting to exploit loopholes in company policies or undermine the organization as a whole by questioning every leadership directive out of spite. Being a staunch admirer of your own intelligence and skill; the sole goal is to outsmart the company or voice vigorous dissenting opinions – striving for maximum professional bedlam. Well, congratulations because you have officially branded yourself as either untrustworthy or cantankerous – maybe even both. And while your actions may not rise to the level of immediate termination; don’t expect career advancement any time soon. You are proving you do not align with the organization’s mission and vision. You do not add any value. And worst yet, you are most likely an exhaustive drain on leadership and your peers. And eventually, you just may be shown the door.
  • Your business is minding the business of your peers. And you never saw a bus too small to throw someone under. Yes, you are that type of employee that everyone despises. You are the type of employee that discloses private business offered to you in confidence. Your favorite hobby is snitching on fellow coworkers because you believe it elevates your status or perhaps you extract jollies from getting others in trouble. Sure, leadership may love gleaning valuable intelligence from their favorite informant, but trust, they will never elevate you above your current station. Your backhanded duplicitous nature does not exactly scream team player or leadership material. You lack respect from leadership and coworkers alike. You’re only useful at being used, and that is not position you should desire.
  • There is a clear distinction between being a righteous advocate for oneself and being a victim. Now, before everyone jumps all over me, yes, there are valid injustices in the workplace. And those occurrences should be identified and addressed accordingly. However, if you are repeatedly crying wolf absent supporting evidence & documentation to validate your assertions, your claims will lose credibility with each passing allegation. And honestly, the sad part is the aggrieved party knows full well that their grievances are without merit. Attention, good or bad, is still attention. Nevertheless, spoiler alert, no one likes drama. Work is already stressful. No one wants to welcome even more. Perhaps something more nefarious is afoot. Regrettably, perhaps it is just another ploy to work an angle for personal gain and subvert the system. This ties to the first bullet point above; lack of integrity and honesty is a surefire way to stall career advancement.

I understand there may be exceptions to the examples I listed above. However, odds are not in your favor if you embody any of the traits discussed here. Every now and again, one has to look in the mirror and determine if they are the source of their work problems and stagnant career. It may be difficult to confront yourself, but your growth and development will benefit in the long run.

Monday Morning Musings – Thoughts Weighing on my Heart & Mind 11.13.23

November 13, 2023 By in Black Thought, Life Tags: , Leave a comment
  • Halloween 2023Sometimes, ignorance truly is wonderful bliss. True indeed, life can be can suffocatingly stressful. Nowadays, I draw happiness and joy from the innocence of my children – like seeing them catch snowflakes with their tongues on Halloween.
  • True enough, happiness won’t always find you, but one can always identify something that fills you with gratitude.
  • I purchased a Vasagle coat rack from Amazon last week. A steel frame with four wooden shelves, it adds a touch of charm to my home office. A well-organized, tidy space allows me to think clearly and better.
  • While cleaning the office and identifying items for recycling, I came across some magazines that were ten to twenty years old. It is painfully obvious and amazing that the average gentleman is no longer the target demographic. During a time when classic men’s style was championed by popular men’s magazines; that is unfortunately no longer the case. The magazines are either defunct or cater to unreasonable, fashion extremes better suited for the quirks of Hollywood than regular ordinary life.
  • I graduated from Cass Technical High School in 1994 where preppy style was immensely popular amongst the student body. Maybe that is why I like that damn Polo Bear so much.
  •  Bed Bath and Beyond offered a wonderfully scented candle from the Heirloom Home collection. It was called warm flannel. The smell of that candle helped me through some rough days a few years back. The company declared bankruptcy and closed its brick-and-mortar locations. Acquired by Overstock.com, the Bed Bath and Beyond name currently existed online under the operations of a rebranded Overstock. Sadly, the Heirloom Home Warm Flannel candle is not available for purchase. I miss that candle.
  • Emotional pain is similar to a back injury. There is a certain degree of healing. However, what was before will never quite be the same. Some days will be better than others, but the pain will always exist in varying intensities. It will all depend upon how you handle it.
  • At my moderately advanced age, I cannot allow certain things stress or upset me. And so, watching the Detroit Pistons has been placed on deserved hiatus until the organization gets their act together.
  • Through a work benefit, I have a monthly standing appointment with a life coach to discuss my mental health and well-being. We do not talk about the Detroit Pistons.

Black Thought – Happiness

November 8, 2023 By in Black Thought Tags: , , , 1 Comment

Alice Walker

“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”

– Alice Walker

I won’t insult the audience with a platitude that sounds pleasing to the ears, and albeit well-intended, sadly lacks real world practicality. The unfortunate truth is that happiness is not a perpetual guarantee, nor promise for anyone. Your happiness and the pursuit thereof are your sole responsibility. Because, in this mutually shared event called life, we cannot be mere spectators allowing our joy to be dictated by the actions of others. To be clear, you must assume ownership of your own contentment and what affects you. To do otherwise is to unconditionally submit your well-being to uncertainty. Sometimes, you cannot control the environment around you. However, you can control your thoughts and how you react.

Far too often I have foolishly sacrificed my own wellness to please others; grossly mistaking that the gesture would be reciprocated. To enjoy a fulfilling return on your happiness; you must fully invest in yourself. You must allocate the necessary time and resources to fill your spirit with gratification and jubilance. Music is one of my outlets. So, when I cue either Stevie Wonder or Luther Vandross to play on my Google smart display, my spirits are instantly raised. I smile. I dance a little jig. I sing with a joyous heart. In that moment I am happy. If the moment presents itself – take it! And if not – make it!

Black Thought – Purpose

November 6, 2023 By in Black Thought Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

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“Real education means to inspire people to live more abundantly, to learn to live with life as they find it and make it better.”

– Carter G. Woodson

To be absolutely sure, a gentleman’s life earns new significance when he not only identifies his purpose, but he also cultivates that purpose into something tangible that benefits other individuals. It is tragically irresponsible when an accomplished gentleman attains a certain degree of success, only to be miserly and penurious with his blessings. For the blessed gentleman that enjoys prosperity and favor, it is critical that he utilizes his influence to encourage, empower, and educate the under-served, often neglected sects of our society.

When benevolence and compassion no longer exist in the hearts and minds of men, the quality of life for both the fortunate and less fortunate gradually diminish. And the best quality of life is something we should all strive to achieve – for everyone. So, operating within your domain of achievement, I urge the gentleman to re-purpose his purpose and seek to promote excellence and success in the lives those who are underprivileged. And going forward, hopefully, they will perform the same charitable act for someone else.

What I’m Wearing Right Now – Jean Paul Gaultier – Le Male Le Parfum Intense

November 1, 2023 By in Grooming, Recommendations Tags: , , Leave a comment

I have lurked around enough online fragrance communities to realize a great misconception amongst that particular audience. It is the thought that every gentleman should harbor a deep affinity for complex, unique fragrances born from the creative noses of master perfumers. However, if you are an ordinary guy that fancies a designer, mass-appealing fragrance such as Dior Sauvage, well, that designated selection is somewhat frowned upon. And in some cases that choice of cologne is mocked and belittled. Some of the reasoning behind the intense dislike for Sauvage: Everyone allegedly owns it. It is too mainstream. It lacks creativity. And…Johnny Depp reps it in Dior commercials. I suppose no one wants to smell like Captain Jack Sparrow.

Now, there is nothing wrong with an honest, true appreciation of a beautiful, well-crafted scent. However, when that attitude leans heavily elitist, the views and opinions can be downright obnoxious. Generally, for the everyday gentleman, it roughly comes down to 4 As for cologne: aroma, affordability, audience, and affection. Is the scent profile pleasing? How much does it cost? Are you wearing it to elicit compliments or just personal enjoyment? Perhaps both? How does it make you feel when you wear it?

It all comes down to this: Wear what you love. You can walk outside right now in the real world, and no one is going to grade your cologne against another fragrance – if you’re even wearing cologne at all. So, that brings me to what I am wearing this season. Yes, a mass produced, designer fragrance that does not push any boundaries. However, as I stated before, wear what pleases you the most. And besides, Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male Le Parfum Intense (that’s a mouthful) smells fantastic during cooler months. Here are just a few of my thoughts on the fragrance.

  • Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male Le Parfum Intense is a 2020 release; created by perfumers Quentin Bisch and Natalie Gracia-Cetto. I was not even in the market for a new cologne, but a chance visit to my favorite spot – Von Maur – presented the opportunity to sample the new offering as it was just hitting the market. It was love at first whiff. With Le Male Le Parfum Intense, the note breakdown is as follows: cardamom (top), lavender + iris (heart), and vanilla +oriental + woodsy (base).
  • Within the muscular, signature sailor inspired bottle you’ll find a warm, slightly spicy scent that is gracefully sensual without being aggressively carnal. You’ll smell like a sexy beast with more emphasis on sexy and less on beast. So yes, upon applying a few sprays from the golden atomizer, I instantly feel like a smooth operator (think Big Daddy Kane circa 88-89′).
  • As the cologne evolves, the middle and base notes produce a soft powdery sweet licorice vibe. I know that may appear as if this scent leans feminine, but assuredly it does not. Despite the aromatic, fresh feel during the dry down; the smell is sufficiently dark with enough weight to be comforting and intimate. And actually, this is one of my favorite bedroom scents, as it conveys an inviting amount of coziness. This is not a loud scent. The last thing you want is an aggressive smell that chases your boo from under the covers and out the bedroom door.
  • With this scent, one can go an easy 6-8 sprays without overdoing it. Nevertheless, be mindful that everyone has a different body chemistry, so experiment with what works best for you. Depending on the number of applications, a gentleman should get a solid 6-7 hours of performance. And even after, you would still be able to detect it, albeit lying intimately closer to the skin.
  • JPG Le Male Le Parfum is formulated for the measured gentleman that aims to project quiet authority and confidence. This is definitely a cologne designed for cooler temperatures, so fall and winter is a perfect time to deploy this beautiful scent. Depending on the environment and occasion, I believe this scent is business casual appropriate. You can definitely wear this to the office, and it would be great for a classy date night with that special someone. It is a serious scent without being too rigid.
  • Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male Le Parfum Intense retails for $106.00 2.5 oz. and $135.00 4.2 oz. True, that price tag may be a little steep for a lot of guys. However, being three years removed from its launch, you can probably purchase it from and online discounter. And Macy’s runs a sale seemingly every other week, so there’s that option as well. If not there, it is available at Jean Paul Gaultier, Ulta Beauty, Nordstrom, Von Maur, and other fine men’s department stores.