The Standard

#1

An honorable gentleman fully comprehends the concept of exhibiting class, sympathy, and compassion. During episodes of great tragedy or human misery, the humane gentleman believes in charity and generosity. It is second nature. The considerate gentleman does not greedily seize upon the opportunity to criticize, politicize, or monetize unfortunate realities. His moral fiber is fortified with virtue and humility. He understands that the weight of life may prove too great for some individuals to bear. Alas, he has been blessed with robust shoulders that can bear life’s burdens, and that fact is not lost on him. He is blessed to be a blessing to those in need. Because, benevolence is a character trait that is not foreign to him, nor is it casually minimized. It is far too easy, agonizingly too simple to take what life has pleasantly afforded us for granted. Sometimes, perspective becomes distorted when the lens has become clouded with prosperity. Allow your wisdom to correct your focus. Your current situation could be dramatically different-and not in a good way. Be thankful. And always remember to assist others who may be in need. It could be you that requires the empathetic generosity of a stranger one day.

#2

Far too much reckless procreation, too much indiscriminate promiscuity. Too many men are having babies, and too few are actual fathers. Too many men are seduced by the novelty of having children, but not so much in actually raising them. And that goes for in, or out of wedlock. Too many children are being abandoned by men who willingly participate in their conception, only to fill their lives with rejection. Young men are being carelessly discarded by the very men that should be teaching them lessons in manhood. Unknowingly, the become an apprentice of the streets, where an internship leads only to poverty, prison, or even death. And what about our daughters? Your absence invites predatory guidance that can seize innocence and disrupt her life forever. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Her first male contact should be you. However, where are you? A responsible gentleman understands the power & significance of rearing his children. The power of being present and accountable for his family. A part of being a man means knowing how to be a father, and a wise gentleman fully understands this. So, be there!

#3

The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself. He alone determines and dictates the manner in which he is presented to the world. When he gazes into the mirror, the reflection of greatness should readily greet him. It does not begin with the clothing he chooses to attire himself in, nor the vehicle he selects to navigate city streets. Not the place of employment where he makes a living. Not the amount of money presently residing in his bank account. Why? Well, because character starts with his self-worth. His esteem is not erected upon a mountain of biodegradable materialism – subject to decay and waste. No, the gentleman’s image is based on gentlemanly fundamentals that are concrete and certain. Virtue. Honor. Principle. Forthrightness. The Gentlemen’s Standard.

#4

To be sure, a minimalist approach to sophisticated style can yield maximum sartorial benefit. A simple color scheme assisted by a clean pocket square, discreet tie bar, inconspicuous necktie, and understated timepiece is the perfect example of dialed-back elegance. No need for intrusive fashion statements. Why all of the fuss? Really? Weighing down an otherwise immaculate presentation with unnecessary, garish details can be self-defeating. Realize, quiet sartorial charm can often speak the loudest.

#5

Undeterred by difficult obstacles in his path, the accomplished gentleman understands that he must remain true to his beliefs. Resolute in making decisions regarding his future, he does not let circumstances or individuals negatively influence his actions. Doubt can never become a factor, for doubt is a killer of faith and kidnapper of hope. Nevertheless, this gentleman is acutely focused. All challenges are welcomed. He remains remarkably steady, even in the face of naysayers. And even if success does not arrive expeditiously, he understands patience is an ally of diligence. And together, they will bring forth prosperity. Transforming aspirational dreams into reality, this gentleman never betrays his goals. He never betrays his work. And most important, he never betrays himself. Success feels so much better this way.

29 responses

  1. Gentlemen Standard is a great site. I have often found this site to be uplifting and informative. I am very impressed with the new look.

  2. I am very happy with the quality of the site, and I find the information to be enjoyable and insightful!

  3. I have spent the better part of the day perusing The Gentlemen’s Standard, and I must agree that this is a great site. Very few catch and hold my attention, but this is definitely one that I have passed on to my mentees that try, and do “upgrades” by walking through my closet, and picking out men’s accessories to “borrow”. Definitely keep this going as it is informative as entertaining.

    • Well, thank you very much. I really wanted to create a positive site that everyone could enjoy. And I really enjoy writing it too. I am very pleased with how the WordPress platform is working out. It is better than I had ever hoped.

  4. I like this series of posts. You manage to strike a good balance where you don’t come off too preachy nor wise. As long as I’m reading, keep them coming.

  5. This reminds me of my Pastor, Rev. Dr. Ralph Douglas West in Houston, Texas. What would I love is a general picture of what these men want in their mates, wives attire. I know your book is probably already written but a few hints for their mates or African American women would be nice!

  6. No. Conservative women married to men of distinction, gentlemen and a few hints about how the women should dress. For example many women who marry pastors, today do not know how to dress appropriately except on some not all Sundays. It’s hit or miss for services on weeknights- one day they dress like a teenager and on another day they dress nicely. In other words whereas these men dress on purpose and have a standard their wives often do not— esp. women under 45 or 40 married to leaders, pastors etc… It takes the self examination, vision, and philosophy described on your site for the men to knowingly and unknowingly dress. How do we get the women to do the same? Do you have any hints for them— just a few….

    • Hi Lawrence. I have added 2 follow buttons towards the bottom of the blog page under my picture. If you have a WordPress account, you can just hit the follow button up top in the task bar on the page. Hope that helps and thanks for reading.

  7. Mr. Palmer, this is a great website. If American men, regardless of race would start following this advice our society would be a much more kinder, gentler place to be. The points you make remind me of my grandfather and the simple things about the proper conduct of a man. Things like opening doors for women, honoring your family and responsibilities, saying sir/ma’am, etc. keep up the great work!

  8. Young hispanic man here, I just stumbled across this website and was touched. It’s easy to forget these standards and lose your way. I am very thankful for your writing and will take it to heart.

  9. Just to be clear: this is a great site for a man of ANY color. Blessings to you on this high road and may it always be clear.

  10. Im so glad i found this site. its difficult for young brothers to find good role models. we have to look pretty hard unfortunately, but its up to us to be our best ideal selves whether we have a role model or not

    • Hey, thanks for checking me out. Sorry for the delayed response. I don’t get nearly enough time to blog like I used to. However, my daughter has put together 2 nights in a row of good sleep. Knock on wood! Maybe I will get more time to write again. Thanks again for dropping in.

  11. I simply cannot believe how I did not discover this website earlier! A gentleman who lives what he preaches. As an aspiring gentleman I am delighted to say that your teaching along with that of my father and other males in my life are putting me on a track that leads straight to manhood. As an adolescent I am at a stage where I am malleable like a piece of Alkali metal. Too many males are remaining boys and not enough are becoming men. Even fewer are becoming gentlemen. If I am learning only one thing from your “standard” posts is that I need to teach as much as I am learning. I honestly cannot thank you enough for what you have provided me with.

    • Hi Paul – thank you so much for your testimony. Your words have really touched me. I am glad that you find my site helpful in your maturation. I am sure you have surrounded yourself with great influence and you’ll a gentleman others will look to for inspiration. You appear to certainly on the right track. Thanks again for the kind words. You take care sir.

  12. As a 30 year old black man, I would like to thank you for this blog. This was such a refreshing, corrective and encouraging read. I am a gentleman in most of these points, but sometimes even a gentleman needs his coat tail pulled. This was certainly an encouraging read, due to my ambitions and goals that I though were far fetched. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and pursuing a graduate degree and was unsure about this decision, since the University I was accepted to is 700 miles away from my family. Although I have friends in that state, this will be my first time away from my family and I am proud that I made this decision to go forth. I hope that you continue with these Standard points, as they are very much needed. Best!!!!!!!!

  13. Mr. Palmer,

    I found your blog through a link from Real Men Real Style and I am grateful that I have. I have 2 Son’s whom I would love to gift some of the Gentleman’s Standards to in a Leather Bound Book on their 16th Birthdays. One is 15 and the other is 9. Is there someone I can contact to request permission?

    • Hi John – I a very flattered that you would like to share some of my work. Sure, I don’t have an issue. Thank you for reading, and thank for thinking highly of my work that you would share with your sons.

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