Sometimes, an elite quarterback is able to drop a well-placed, perfectly thrown football into the outstretched hands of a receiver. Certainly, most passes must be delivered with amazing precision to reach its intended target. However, there are moments when the football follows a less than desirable trajectory, and the receiver has no choice but to do one thing-jump up there and take it! The same can be said for opportunity. Sometimes an opportunity will arrive during a less than optimal time. Case in point: that senior specialist position is now open at my job. It is a role that I reasoned I would pursue after a year of working in my new job. New employees have to wait a minimum of six months before applying to a new position. However, due to a lot of internal movement within the department, that rule has been waived because candidates are sorely needed.

Well, there goes my plan of waiting a year. Now, I could adhere to my originally plan and wait until another opening occurs. Or, I could seize the opportunity now and go all in. Well, I am thinking I am going to jump up there and take it! A gentleman should always capitalize on a fortuitous opportunity-even if the conditions are unexpected or unplanned. Trust in yourself and have faith in God. What are you waiting for? Tomorrow morning…I’m jumping…what about you?


During periods of incremental stress and strain that will challenge a gentleman’s resolve, his fortitude will most definitely be questioned and tested. For any gentleman can display courage amongst a congregation of like-minded peers. However, how does the gentleman stand when he has to stand alone? Erect in the solitude of his decision making, he is solely responsible for his actions and thought process. His firmness is punctuated with intelligence, patience, and wisdom. While others succumb to the enormity of life’s certain uncertainties, this gentleman is unwavering. He does not buckle. He will not be defeated. He does not choose to remain static as life continually molds his reality. No, he recognizes a problem (or problems) and immediately seeks meaningful resolution. He does not wait for vain approval, nor does he seek empty accolades. He answers the challenge because that is what a distinguished gentleman does. Resolute. Steady. Dutiful. In trying times of standing alone, he is surely to stand tall.


Men are not born with what one would identify as a “gentleman” gene in their DNA. Sure, some men naturally gravitate towards chivalrous, courteous behavior – but more often than not, such behavior is learned and embedded during various stages of male maturation. Conversely, some adolescents mature without said chivalrous attributes ever being instilled in their life. And that is an unfortunate reality; a reality that is shared by far too many young men growing up today. That must change. Now, as a child I would accompany my grandmother to the market for an afternoon of grocery shopping. My grandmother did not know how to drive, so we would walk to the market and I would help her carry grocery bags home. My brothers and I would actually request to tag along for such shopping excursions.

And now as an adult, I find myself helping elderly women in the market with their groceries, or helping them load bags into their car. Old habits die hard. Unbeknownst to me, the seeds of a future gentleman were being planted when I was but a youth. Furthermore, that benevolent mindset extends to other aspects in my life as well. Whether freeing a woman’s car from a snowbank or carrying a pregnant woman’s work bags to her car, I am driven by gentlemanly instinct. That is an instinct that must be imparted in young men today. It can be taught as an uncle, a mentor, a friend, or simply as a father. Chivalry. Valor. Courtesy. Politeness. Helpfulness. These are commodities that appear to be in scarce supply nowadays. If you are an owner of any or all, your wisdom is in high demand. Go ahead, there is a young man that needs you today.


A successful gentleman understands that he does not approach life insufficiently prepared for what might arise. He has a carefully devised strategy. He has meticulously formulated a plan for his future. The better the preparation, the better the ability to handle adversity. No crisis or dilemma will seem insurmountable. Think about it: A coach does not haphazardly send his players into a game without a game plan. Even football audibles, though deviating from an original set play, have a purpose. Sure, a play may be broken, but an intelligent player makes the necessary adjustments and adaptations. Life will not perfectly proceed as you might imagine. A gentleman will encounter setbacks. A gentleman might face innumerable obstacles. Nevertheless, a smart gentleman has a mission. He has a vision. He has a plan. He even has a contingency plan even when the original plan doesn’t go according to plan. He has strategically placed himself in position for optimal reward. You can do the same-if you have a game plan. So, do you have one?


The following is a gentleman’s public service announcement: An intelligent gentleman understands and appreciates the delicate nature of a recovering job market. Certainly, the employment forecast is becoming brighter, but an astute gentleman demonstrates due diligence during his job search. Never stagnant, he works tirelessly to improve his chances of landing his job of choice. And once the moment arrives when a gentleman is standing before a potential employer, he fully realizes what his primary role is at that time-salesperson. He is a salesperson and the product that he is selling is himself. He soundly demonstrates that his experience and expertise are viable commodities that a future employer wants…no…needs at their company. His career goals are perfectly aligned with the company’s mission and vision. He is supremely confident, yet humble. He superbly demonstrates the ability to work independently, but he is a team player. He clearly shows the drive to continually improve himself and become a valuable asset to the company. By the time his pitch is done, the job is his. No questions about it!

30 responses

  1. Gentlemen Standard is a great site. I have often found this site to be uplifting and informative. I am very impressed with the new look.


  2. I have spent the better part of the day perusing The Gentlemen’s Standard, and I must agree that this is a great site. Very few catch and hold my attention, but this is definitely one that I have passed on to my mentees that try, and do “upgrades” by walking through my closet, and picking out men’s accessories to “borrow”. Definitely keep this going as it is informative as entertaining.


    • Well, thank you very much. I really wanted to create a positive site that everyone could enjoy. And I really enjoy writing it too. I am very pleased with how the WordPress platform is working out. It is better than I had ever hoped.


  3. I like this series of posts. You manage to strike a good balance where you don’t come off too preachy nor wise. As long as I’m reading, keep them coming.


  4. This reminds me of my Pastor, Rev. Dr. Ralph Douglas West in Houston, Texas. What would I love is a general picture of what these men want in their mates, wives attire. I know your book is probably already written but a few hints for their mates or African American women would be nice!


  5. No. Conservative women married to men of distinction, gentlemen and a few hints about how the women should dress. For example many women who marry pastors, today do not know how to dress appropriately except on some not all Sundays. It’s hit or miss for services on weeknights- one day they dress like a teenager and on another day they dress nicely. In other words whereas these men dress on purpose and have a standard their wives often do not— esp. women under 45 or 40 married to leaders, pastors etc… It takes the self examination, vision, and philosophy described on your site for the men to knowingly and unknowingly dress. How do we get the women to do the same? Do you have any hints for them— just a few….


    • Hi Lawrence. I have added 2 follow buttons towards the bottom of the blog page under my picture. If you have a WordPress account, you can just hit the follow button up top in the task bar on the page. Hope that helps and thanks for reading.


  6. Mr. Palmer, this is a great website. If American men, regardless of race would start following this advice our society would be a much more kinder, gentler place to be. The points you make remind me of my grandfather and the simple things about the proper conduct of a man. Things like opening doors for women, honoring your family and responsibilities, saying sir/ma’am, etc. keep up the great work!


  7. Young hispanic man here, I just stumbled across this website and was touched. It’s easy to forget these standards and lose your way. I am very thankful for your writing and will take it to heart.


  8. Just to be clear: this is a great site for a man of ANY color. Blessings to you on this high road and may it always be clear.


  9. Im so glad i found this site. its difficult for young brothers to find good role models. we have to look pretty hard unfortunately, but its up to us to be our best ideal selves whether we have a role model or not


    • Hey, thanks for checking me out. Sorry for the delayed response. I don’t get nearly enough time to blog like I used to. However, my daughter has put together 2 nights in a row of good sleep. Knock on wood! Maybe I will get more time to write again. Thanks again for dropping in.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I simply cannot believe how I did not discover this website earlier! A gentleman who lives what he preaches. As an aspiring gentleman I am delighted to say that your teaching along with that of my father and other males in my life are putting me on a track that leads straight to manhood. As an adolescent I am at a stage where I am malleable like a piece of Alkali metal. Too many males are remaining boys and not enough are becoming men. Even fewer are becoming gentlemen. If I am learning only one thing from your “standard” posts is that I need to teach as much as I am learning. I honestly cannot thank you enough for what you have provided me with.


    • Hi Paul – thank you so much for your testimony. Your words have really touched me. I am glad that you find my site helpful in your maturation. I am sure you have surrounded yourself with great influence and you’ll a gentleman others will look to for inspiration. You appear to certainly on the right track. Thanks again for the kind words. You take care sir.


  11. As a 30 year old black man, I would like to thank you for this blog. This was such a refreshing, corrective and encouraging read. I am a gentleman in most of these points, but sometimes even a gentleman needs his coat tail pulled. This was certainly an encouraging read, due to my ambitions and goals that I though were far fetched. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and pursuing a graduate degree and was unsure about this decision, since the University I was accepted to is 700 miles away from my family. Although I have friends in that state, this will be my first time away from my family and I am proud that I made this decision to go forth. I hope that you continue with these Standard points, as they are very much needed. Best!!!!!!!!


  12. Mr. Palmer,

    I found your blog through a link from Real Men Real Style and I am grateful that I have. I have 2 Son’s whom I would love to gift some of the Gentleman’s Standards to in a Leather Bound Book on their 16th Birthdays. One is 15 and the other is 9. Is there someone I can contact to request permission?


    • Hi John – I a very flattered that you would like to share some of my work. Sure, I don’t have an issue. Thank you for reading, and thank for thinking highly of my work that you would share with your sons.


  13. I am a man of colour (Sri Lankan and Spanish parentage). I have unfortuntely suffered the slings and arrows of systemic racism, but can honestly say that I am inspired by the standards that you have outlined in your blog. You have truly distilled the essence of what it is to be a gentlemen and the magnamity that goes with it. Highlighting generosity and personal responsibility are virtues I try to instill in the young men that I teach, most of whom are of Polynesian extraction. Many feel that football is paramount to being a ‘man’. I have used your words to moor them to the virtues of education, self-discipline and self-respect (exemplified through their appearance). I have used your standards to help develop a sense of espirit de corps among these economically disadvantaged teenagers who will hopefully develop into young men of substance, capable of extending largesse to those who would wrong them.


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