A true gentleman comprehends that his image reaches far beyond his handsome sartorial exterior. Quietly residing underneath that charcoal wool 2-button single-breasted suit, there exists a gentleman who believes manners still matter. Manners are in such short supply nowadays that one cannot help but notice when they are on display. Recently, I decided to grab a post workout meal at a nearby Bob Evans. Upon checking out, I was greeted by a young gentleman who was more than pleased to ring me out. Now understand, I am at Bob Evans and not some expensive 5-star restaurant. However, everything the young man said was, “Yes sir…no sir…please sir…thank you sir…have a great day sir.”

Seriously, how many time have you encountered some young high school kid half asleep at the register as they mumble their words to you, as if you are getting on THEIR nerves? How many adults have behaved this way? No matter how elegant the clothes or what type of job you may possess, exemplary social etiquette never goes out of style. And although this young gentleman was in his Bob Evans gear, I can definitely see him moving up and out in the world. Simply because he understands the magnitude of treating people well. Making them feel appreciated. Making them feel important. Being courteous. Gentlemanly behavior? It goes a long way. Yes, it never goes out of style.


A gentleman must possess a total level of comfort with his individuality. If he is conservative by nature, his dress should reflect his personality. If he embraces a style that is utterly foreign to his demeanor, he will only be successful in looking uneasy in his own skin. Clean and simple does not mean boring. Your wardrobe should be sharply pressed. Fabrics should be of fine quality. Shoes should have a high polish. Your combination of clothes should be simple, yet project class and authority. The dark navy or charcoal suit. The black wingtip. The crisp white or blue dress shirt. Don’t underestimate the sophistication of the understated. Every gentleman should have a simple and tasteful outfit at his disposal. Besides, a gentleman’s occupation or lifestyle may not afford him the luxury of being a fashionable peacock anyway. Realize and dress accordingly.


Firmly standing upright under an unrelenting, blistering storm of vitriolic contempt and caustic distrust, the successful gentleman remains undeterred in his journey towards triumph. Triumph – born of an unwavering resolve and complete assurance in his abilities; this gentleman cannot be denied what he has tirelessly striven for. And despite ardent attempts to trivialize his work, undermine his legitimacy, or boldly question his intellect; ignorance and hatred will be trumped every time. Believe it. No amount of mockery can shake his confidence. He is resolute. He is intelligent. He is courageous. More importantly, he recognizes that there exists individuals consumed with hubris and guided by conceit, which ultimately hastens their downfall. So, he stays in his lane and does what he does best – win. Are you a winner?


The sharply styled, contemporary gentleman is fully cognizant of his immediate surroundings. He surveys the landscape around him and makes intelligent sartorial decisions. Once assigning himself to the notion that people do not notice what you are wearing, this gentleman has experienced a maturation process that speaks quite to the contrary. He is wiser and more seasoned now. He understands that people will take a snap mental inventory of his presentation. One’s appearance can be a subtle indicator of social status and character. Yes, your attire is a non-verbal form of communication; your clothes articulate a message and people readily listen.

Well, who comprises the audience that is so attentive observant? Your current or potential employer certainly notices. Man is not judged by resume alone. No. Sophisticated attire could be that extra 10 percent you require to differentiate yourself from the next applicant. In this economy, you might need it. Your first impression should be a lasting impression.

Speaking of impressions, observe your lovely lady’s eyes widen and the corners of her mouth curl into a sly smile when she sees your effortless elegance. Yes indeed, every woman loves a sharp dressed man; never underestimate that fact. Ponder the impression you leave on the youth and especially your own children when they absorb the gentleman’s confidence and class.

There is power in your presence, wield it wisely. Your peers even record mental notes. Please. Men are all about competition. Females usually take flack for their ritualistic judgment of each other, but do not be fooled; men want to bring sartorial A game to the table too. We are just a little more disguised with our attitude. We attempt to act like we don’t care, but we do. Employer. Spouse. Co-worker. Sibling. Son. Daughter. No matter the person, recognize that they recognize what your style articulates about you. Dignified. Confident. Masculine. Intelligent. Trustworthy. Definite characteristics the contemporary gentleman should exude.


laptop BWA successful gentleman is also a determined and dedicated gentleman. Sure, there are a myriad of factors that will give rise to varying amounts of success. However, determination and dedication are two character traits that should not be ignored, nor should it be taken for granted. I am going to reveal something today that very few people know about The Gentlemen’s Standard. In the four years that I have been blogging and writing, I did so without the assistance of a laptop. That is correct. Only recently I was blessed with a laptop as a gift from my lovely wife. Now, this may not seem like a humongous deal to some, but blogging without the assistance of a laptop is, well, very difficult. Especially when attempting to sustain a pace that drives traffic and attracts a faithful audience.

So, how did I write all this time without one? I guess the old-fashioned way. I guess I am just an old-fashioned guy. I would write notes to myself pertaining to potential topics. I would memorize potential sentences in my head. I would e-mail myself material to use for future posts. I would then race home to my old desktop (roughly 15 years old) and stay up late cranking out material-sometimes to the chagrin of my wife.

So, it was only until last year that I secured a laptop to make my writing easier. Nevertheless, I am definitely proud of my achievements over the past few years, all without the benefits of a mobile computer. All I possessed was my determination and dedication, along with an old trusty desktop (did I mention slow) to help me along the way. Whatever a gentleman dreams he can do, he must summon the strength and will to bring it to fruition. You can do it. Have faith in God and have faith in yourself; you will be just fine. Determination. Dedication. Master both. I have no doubt you will.

30 responses

  1. Gentlemen Standard is a great site. I have often found this site to be uplifting and informative. I am very impressed with the new look.


  2. I have spent the better part of the day perusing The Gentlemen’s Standard, and I must agree that this is a great site. Very few catch and hold my attention, but this is definitely one that I have passed on to my mentees that try, and do “upgrades” by walking through my closet, and picking out men’s accessories to “borrow”. Definitely keep this going as it is informative as entertaining.


    • Well, thank you very much. I really wanted to create a positive site that everyone could enjoy. And I really enjoy writing it too. I am very pleased with how the WordPress platform is working out. It is better than I had ever hoped.


  3. I like this series of posts. You manage to strike a good balance where you don’t come off too preachy nor wise. As long as I’m reading, keep them coming.


  4. This reminds me of my Pastor, Rev. Dr. Ralph Douglas West in Houston, Texas. What would I love is a general picture of what these men want in their mates, wives attire. I know your book is probably already written but a few hints for their mates or African American women would be nice!


  5. No. Conservative women married to men of distinction, gentlemen and a few hints about how the women should dress. For example many women who marry pastors, today do not know how to dress appropriately except on some not all Sundays. It’s hit or miss for services on weeknights- one day they dress like a teenager and on another day they dress nicely. In other words whereas these men dress on purpose and have a standard their wives often do not— esp. women under 45 or 40 married to leaders, pastors etc… It takes the self examination, vision, and philosophy described on your site for the men to knowingly and unknowingly dress. How do we get the women to do the same? Do you have any hints for them— just a few….


    • Hi Lawrence. I have added 2 follow buttons towards the bottom of the blog page under my picture. If you have a WordPress account, you can just hit the follow button up top in the task bar on the page. Hope that helps and thanks for reading.


  6. Mr. Palmer, this is a great website. If American men, regardless of race would start following this advice our society would be a much more kinder, gentler place to be. The points you make remind me of my grandfather and the simple things about the proper conduct of a man. Things like opening doors for women, honoring your family and responsibilities, saying sir/ma’am, etc. keep up the great work!


  7. Young hispanic man here, I just stumbled across this website and was touched. It’s easy to forget these standards and lose your way. I am very thankful for your writing and will take it to heart.


  8. Just to be clear: this is a great site for a man of ANY color. Blessings to you on this high road and may it always be clear.


  9. Im so glad i found this site. its difficult for young brothers to find good role models. we have to look pretty hard unfortunately, but its up to us to be our best ideal selves whether we have a role model or not


    • Hey, thanks for checking me out. Sorry for the delayed response. I don’t get nearly enough time to blog like I used to. However, my daughter has put together 2 nights in a row of good sleep. Knock on wood! Maybe I will get more time to write again. Thanks again for dropping in.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I simply cannot believe how I did not discover this website earlier! A gentleman who lives what he preaches. As an aspiring gentleman I am delighted to say that your teaching along with that of my father and other males in my life are putting me on a track that leads straight to manhood. As an adolescent I am at a stage where I am malleable like a piece of Alkali metal. Too many males are remaining boys and not enough are becoming men. Even fewer are becoming gentlemen. If I am learning only one thing from your “standard” posts is that I need to teach as much as I am learning. I honestly cannot thank you enough for what you have provided me with.


    • Hi Paul – thank you so much for your testimony. Your words have really touched me. I am glad that you find my site helpful in your maturation. I am sure you have surrounded yourself with great influence and you’ll a gentleman others will look to for inspiration. You appear to certainly on the right track. Thanks again for the kind words. You take care sir.


  11. As a 30 year old black man, I would like to thank you for this blog. This was such a refreshing, corrective and encouraging read. I am a gentleman in most of these points, but sometimes even a gentleman needs his coat tail pulled. This was certainly an encouraging read, due to my ambitions and goals that I though were far fetched. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and pursuing a graduate degree and was unsure about this decision, since the University I was accepted to is 700 miles away from my family. Although I have friends in that state, this will be my first time away from my family and I am proud that I made this decision to go forth. I hope that you continue with these Standard points, as they are very much needed. Best!!!!!!!!


  12. Mr. Palmer,

    I found your blog through a link from Real Men Real Style and I am grateful that I have. I have 2 Son’s whom I would love to gift some of the Gentleman’s Standards to in a Leather Bound Book on their 16th Birthdays. One is 15 and the other is 9. Is there someone I can contact to request permission?


    • Hi John – I a very flattered that you would like to share some of my work. Sure, I don’t have an issue. Thank you for reading, and thank for thinking highly of my work that you would share with your sons.


  13. I am a man of colour (Sri Lankan and Spanish parentage). I have unfortuntely suffered the slings and arrows of systemic racism, but can honestly say that I am inspired by the standards that you have outlined in your blog. You have truly distilled the essence of what it is to be a gentlemen and the magnamity that goes with it. Highlighting generosity and personal responsibility are virtues I try to instill in the young men that I teach, most of whom are of Polynesian extraction. Many feel that football is paramount to being a ‘man’. I have used your words to moor them to the virtues of education, self-discipline and self-respect (exemplified through their appearance). I have used your standards to help develop a sense of espirit de corps among these economically disadvantaged teenagers who will hopefully develop into young men of substance, capable of extending largesse to those who would wrong them.

    Liked by 1 person

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