Happy Juneteenth
Category Archives: Black Thought
Black Thought
Sometimes the passage is rocky and turbulent. Sometimes we momentarily stray off course. And sometimes the destination is so far that the eye can barely see it. Alas, we dutifully stay the course. However, when we knowingly select a vessel fraught with moral dilapidation, and its integrity is compromised by ethical decay, the depths that we sink will be of our own choosing.
The Standard #61
To be sure, for individuals with a heightened degree of mental acuity, one can risk leaning too heavily into one’s intelligence, much to the detriment of reason and logic. Now, there are particular circumstances that occur in life that elicit such a passionate exercise. And trust, I wholeheartedly understand the passion that can be evoked toward an intimately held belief or idea. For certain, it is passion that propels purpose and progress. Nevertheless, absent restraint, passion can pervert principle. Passion can propagate pain. And passion can prop up perplexing political partitions. Sometimes, if you can humor me, some subject matter need not be overly thought and unnecessarily complicated. Some things are as simple as they present themselves.
However, some people possess an insatiable appetite to expertly weave arguments to either explain the unexplainable or ignore the explainable altogether. So, what you have is an intellectual exhibitionist ready to expose their intelligence for all to see, solely for the purpose of self-gratification and self-affirmation. It’s not that complicated. Sometimes the subject matter boils down to key core values: integrity, honesty, accountability, responsibility, dignity, and character. Because, for all the bluster and grandstanding, a reprobate ideology should not trump morality and ethics. Is this not what we demand of our children? It’s not that complicated. Believe me, I understand the disappointment and despair. However, those feelings can yield discontent and disillusionment. And in turn, we gravitate towards something we know in our soul is wrong.
Now, you may have read the following statement before here on this blog, but I believe it bears repeating, albeit with a remix. We can disagree without being disagreeable, however, common ground should not be so uncommon, as I truly believe it is achievable. Diatribes disguised as smart discourse are disingenuous and should be definitively dispelled. In this shared experience of life, we are called upon to select imperfect vessels to carry our hopes and beliefs to a preferred destination for a greater good. Sometimes the passage is rocky and turbulent. Sometimes we momentarily stray off course. And sometimes the destination is so far that the eye can barely see it. Alas, we dutifully stay the course. However, when we knowingly select a vessel fraught with moral dilapidation, and its integrity is compromised by ethical decay, the depths that we sink will be of our own choosing.
Black Thought
The knee-jerk response of assigning every dissenting view as merely “hate” is just a lazy counter to constructive criticism. It is a dismissive attempt to avoid a meaningful exchange of opinion based on the merits of the subject matter. It is a way to justify the seemingly unjustifiable absent debate. A gentleman should be able to offer an opinion with candor, intelligence, reason, and respect. And conversely, a gentleman should be able to receive said criticism with openness, understanding, reason, and respect. Only through the exchange of well-thought perspectives can enlightenment and learning be achieved.
Monday Morning Musings – Thoughts Weighing on my Heart & Mind 11.13.23
Sometimes, ignorance truly is wonderful bliss. True indeed, life can be can suffocatingly stressful. Nowadays, I draw happiness and joy from the innocence of my children – like seeing them catch snowflakes with their tongues on Halloween.- True enough, happiness won’t always find you, but one can always identify something that fills you with gratitude.
- I purchased a Vasagle coat rack from Amazon last week. A steel frame with four wooden shelves, it adds a touch of charm to my home office. A well-organized, tidy space allows me to think clearly and better.
- While cleaning the office and identifying items for recycling, I came across some magazines that were ten to twenty years old. It is painfully obvious and amazing that the average gentleman is no longer the target demographic. During a time when classic men’s style was championed by popular men’s magazines; that is unfortunately no longer the case. The magazines are either defunct or cater to unreasonable, fashion extremes better suited for the quirks of Hollywood than regular ordinary life.
- I graduated from Cass Technical High School in 1994 where preppy style was immensely popular amongst the student body. Maybe that is why I like that damn Polo Bear so much.
- Bed Bath and Beyond offered a wonderfully scented candle from the Heirloom Home collection. It was called warm flannel. The smell of that candle helped me through some rough days a few years back. The company declared bankruptcy and closed its brick-and-mortar locations. Acquired by Overstock.com, the Bed Bath and Beyond name currently existed online under the operations of a rebranded Overstock. Sadly, the Heirloom Home Warm Flannel candle is not available for purchase. I miss that candle.
- Emotional pain is similar to a back injury. There is a certain degree of healing. However, what was before will never quite be the same. Some days will be better than others, but the pain will always exist in varying intensities. It will all depend upon how you handle it.
- At my moderately advanced age, I cannot allow certain things stress or upset me. And so, watching the Detroit Pistons has been placed on deserved hiatus until the organization gets their act together.
- Through a work benefit, I have a monthly standing appointment with a life coach to discuss my mental health and well-being. We do not talk about the Detroit Pistons.
Black Thought – Happiness
“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”
– Alice Walker
I won’t insult the audience with a platitude that sounds pleasing to the ears, and albeit well-intended, sadly lacks real world practicality. The unfortunate truth is that happiness is not a perpetual guarantee, nor promise for anyone. Your happiness and the pursuit thereof are your sole responsibility. Because, in this mutually shared event called life, we cannot be mere spectators allowing our joy to be dictated by the actions of others. To be clear, you must assume ownership of your own contentment and what affects you. To do otherwise is to unconditionally submit your well-being to uncertainty. Sometimes, you cannot control the environment around you. However, you can control your thoughts and how you react.
Far too often I have foolishly sacrificed my own wellness to please others; grossly mistaking that the gesture would be reciprocated. To enjoy a fulfilling return on your happiness; you must fully invest in yourself. You must allocate the necessary time and resources to fill your spirit with gratification and jubilance. Music is one of my outlets. So, when I cue either Stevie Wonder or Luther Vandross to play on my Google smart display, my spirits are instantly raised. I smile. I dance a little jig. I sing with a joyous heart. In that moment I am happy. If the moment presents itself – take it! And if not – make it!
Black Thought – Purpose
“Real education means to inspire people to live more abundantly, to learn to live with life as they find it and make it better.”
– Carter G. Woodson
To be absolutely sure, a gentleman’s life earns new significance when he not only identifies his purpose, but he also cultivates that purpose into something tangible that benefits other individuals. It is tragically irresponsible when an accomplished gentleman attains a certain degree of success, only to be miserly and penurious with his blessings. For the blessed gentleman that enjoys prosperity and favor, it is critical that he utilizes his influence to encourage, empower, and educate the under-served, often neglected sects of our society.
When benevolence and compassion no longer exist in the hearts and minds of men, the quality of life for both the fortunate and less fortunate gradually diminish. And the best quality of life is something we should all strive to achieve – for everyone. So, operating within your domain of achievement, I urge the gentleman to re-purpose his purpose and seek to promote excellence and success in the lives those who are underprivileged. And going forward, hopefully, they will perform the same charitable act for someone else.
Monday Morning Musings – Thoughts Weighing on my Heart & Mind 10.30.23
- I can’t be more invested in the happiness and stability of another individual’s marriage or relationship more than they are – especially when said individual is a celebrity far removed from my ordinary, simple life.
- Please stop letting social media and celebrities dictate how you view and govern your personal relationships.
- Everything is not for public consumption. Our lives have become a marketable product repurposed to monetized; much to the detriment of our own well-being and the loved ones around us. Some things are best kept private.
- There are just some forms of pain and hurt that time cannot heal. Despite the deep regret and best efforts to make amends, wounds afflicted to the heart and mind can be chronic.
- Never allow an individual to devalue your worth and self-esteem. Take the time to reclaim you.
- If available, please take advantage of mental health services that may be offered by your place of employment. Sometimes these services are totally free or have very low fees. You would be surprised that many people are either ignorant of its existence or just don’t take the steps to access the program.
- Make a list of people you have not connected with in a long time. Call or text them. Let them know you were thinking of them and perhaps have a conversation that was long overdue.
- God blesses us with the gift of a unique talent. It is a sacred resource that demands to be shared and enrich the lives of others.
- Sometimes you need to be the voice and advocate for people absent from the room where decisions are made.
- To be sure, the anointed venue is of importance, but so is enjoying the company of person with you – especially on a first date.
- Parfums de Marly Althair was just released for fall. I had extremely high hopes. Upon sampling the fragrance, I was angry I wasted gas to drive to mall to put my nose on the hype. I smelled it both on a paper test strip and skin. Trapped in my car with the scent as I drove home, I could not wait to vigorously scrub my arm to rid myself of the smell. At $250.00 for 75ml or $350.00 for 125ml; this is definitely not blind-buy worthy. Try before you buy!
- The new rose bush I planted in the backyard had one more bloom left. Despite progressively cooler weather and cloudy skies, this little rose found a way to bloom. In our lives, times may not be conducive for growth. However, no matter what season of life you are experiencing, understand that you have the strength to flourish in environment.
Black Thought – Authenticity
“Authenticity is my rebellion.” – Viola Davis
Trust and be assured, you possess an extraordinary power when you hold fast to your authentic self. Emboldened with unwavering confidence and a stubborn commitment to one’s core values; you will not acquiesce or conform to either popular trends or a status quo that stand in sharp contrast to your own principles. And while being exposed to a variety of opposing, external influences; you remain unbothered and unaffected because you are rooted unmistakably in your truth. Sometimes, you boldly swim against a powerful current of popular opinion. Now, such rebellion could be met with certain labels. And that is okay. It is what defines our uniqueness. The definition of self must be written by its author. And you are the author of your own book – ghost writers need not apply. To be your true self is what grants you strength, courage, and drive. Absent hesitation, regret, or embarrassment; your rebellion is your originality. Trust and be assured, your authenticity is unapologetically you and only you.
Black Thought
“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts.”
Nikki Giovanni
Unfortunate and poor behavior notwithstanding, I vehemently reject the tired narrative that the actions of one individual is an overreaching indictment and reflection of an entire race. The practice of projecting either pronounced or passive prejudices on a people is profoundly problematic. And the recital of said narrative offers suspect validity to an aging stereotype with tacit approval. Racism does not require reason nor request. To be sure, an individual must be held accountable for egregious actions and conduct. However, such accountability should be administered with wisdom and love. Certainly, there must be a level of contrition and willingness to properly rectify the situation by the offending party. Nevertheless, it is never wise to stand in self-righteous judgment and indignation with unsteady footing. Because, if changed behavior is the expectation, constructive counsel is more valuable than destructive opinion.
Living Your Best Life – Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not necessarily intended for the individual that inflicted pain upon you. Rather, forgiveness is freeing oneself from the bondage of grief, hate, and vengeance. Forgiveness is an arduous exercise of affording deserved peace and order to one’s spirit. Forgiveness is moving forward untethered to suffering and pain.
Living Your Best Life – Success
As I have grown older, I realize that success should not be a measurement based on the accumulation of material objects or a particular station in the world of business. Rather, my success is determined by the value I add to the lives of family & friends, the servant-leadership I provide to the community, and the quality of life I help provide for my family.
Black Thought
“We cannot have perfection. We have few saints. But we must have honest men or we die. We must have unselfish, far-seeing leadership or we fail.”
– W.E.B. DuBois
These words were spoken so many decades ago. Nevertheless, these wise words ring with an unmistakable truth and resounding clarity today. Because, unfortunately in these turbulent times, the scarcity of leadership is at once hopelessly disappointing and terribly frightening. At its core, leadership demands honest, decisive action in the service and best interests of a people. The naked, bombastic machismo we witness today – delivered with unflinching dishonest selfishness – fosters a maddening, toxic environment with aimless direction. Today, we stand shakily on the precipice of outright moral anarchy. To be sure, the fallibility of man is an unavoidable consequence of being human. No one can escape being marked with some form of moral blemish. Nevertheless, conscientious ignorance emboldened with manipulative deceit is an enthusiastic embrace of corruption. Leadership begs transparent forthrightness based upon principles and honesty. A leader comprehends and differentiates between right and wrong. His actions are guided by truth, justice, integrity, empathy, and humility. A leader empowers others. A leader communicates clearly and directly. A leader practices gratitude. Certainly we need more leaders today. Time to step up.
Living Your Best Life – Blackness
My fellow black Americans, please stop grading blackness as if it is a badge of honor to determine whose ancestral lineage experienced the most inhumane suffering. To be sure, trust, there aren’t any trophies for whose black pain is the greatest and most traumatic.
Living Your Best Life – Justice
The choice should not be between principled enforcement of law & order and the righteous outcry for social justice. In a rational, civil society; both can be achieved concurrently.