You simply are not allowed to speak your peace or offer insight. In vain, you attempt to conjure the right words, but you are cut off or talked over. Sometimes, the other person is just talking a mile per minute. From time to time, you may encounter a belligerent colleague that just will not allow you to get a word in edgewise. You may also encounter a verbose colleague that monopolizes all of the oxygen in the room. The atmosphere may be tense, and they are determined to drive their point. You may feel frustration or exasperation. If you experience either scenario, please feel free to use the following sentences: You have to give me the opportunity to speak. If we are going to have a constructive conversation, and have a meaningful exchange of opinion or ideas, I must have the opportunity to add to the dialogue.
Now, everyone’s situation is going to vary, so I would humbly suggest you take my recommended verbiage and tailor it to fit your own specific circumstances. Your delivery should be calm, reserved, and definitely firm. Your tone should be serious. It should be worth noting that you may need to reiterate your point a few times. Some individuals will attempt to argue you into the ground. You must remain married to your talking points and not stray off course. And if you still cannot get a word in – terminate the conversation. There is no need to talk in meaningless circles. Your parting word should be your last word. And your parting word should look like the following: When you are prepared to have a substantive discussion, and I am an active participant, we can certainly reconvene the conversation. Have a nice day.
When a team meeting begins an unexpected downward spiral into chaos and negativity, as a leader in management, one must never hesitate to utilize one’s authority to shut it down – immediately. And as a leader with direct reports, managing a medley of personalities can be quite challenging. Naturally employees will have team disagreements; that is to be expected as no two individuals are exactly alike. However, when difference of opinion devolves into disruption and disrespect, the resulting disorder can adversely affect team productivity and morale. Being a leader, one must have the foresight to identify potential conflict and strategically diffuse the situation before it escalates. The power of foresight can only be attained through hardened experience; there is no course or training that will prepare you for the variables of human behavior. I have endured through trial and error. I want to share some of my insight with you. Here are a few warning signs that your meeting may fly off the rails.
First of all, well, your silent alarm should be blaring when a colleague starts their sentence with “first of all”. Said colleague is about to launch into a lengthy diatribe complete with examples and key grievances – bullet point by bullet point.
A leader must be cognizant of inflammatory language and trigger expressions. When a colleague starts using accusatory language with a belittling tone, the recipient of the incoming fire will become defensive and will most likely reciprocate the sentiment. You never, you always, you should, or why don’t you are leading subjects generally delivered in a chastising manner. Calling attention to another colleague’s faults and errors, either aggressively or passive aggressively, is extremely toxic to the work environment. When a colleague’s work ethic or performance is being critiqued in full view of the entire team – by a non-leader – it will not be received kindly.
Everyone makes mistakes. Be leery of the colleague that chastises fellow employees while presenting themselves as the paragon of work perfection. And this self-appreciation is usually contrasted with a fellow employee as described in the previous bullet point.
When colleagues constantly interrupt one another and talk over each other, they are effectively ineffective with their listening comprehension.
A leader must also be aware of body language. The folded arms, the scowl, the pursed lips, the heavy sighs, the eye rolls, and I could go on and on.
So, as a combustible cauldron of chaos is being stirred with hostile intent, it is your duty to quell any disorder before it explodes into professional bedlam. What we do not want is a Lord of the Flies scenario in the workplace. So, what do you do? First, you must be calm and measured. You must be the voice of reason and pragmatism. Sensing potential conflict, you must insert yourself between quarreling colleagues to prevent them from launching verbal missiles at each other. Your voice must be the most dominant in the room. And dominant does not mean yelling. It should be firm, resolute, and steady. Table the discussion and direct the team that any unresolved issues will be taken offline. You should assert that bickering does not add value and is not constructive usage of everyone’s time. And when all else fails, remember as a leader in management, you can leverage the power of corrective action. Correction actions can be a pain to implement, but allowing discord to fester can quickly disrupt team dynamics. Shut it down as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
Hit dogs are probably going holler when they read this post. The purpose is not to offend; rather it is to enlighten. Because unfortunately, someone is currenting sabotaging their career right now with negative behavior. I just want to point out possible blind spots. Self-awareness is defined as having an understanding of your own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. For the purpose of this entry, the concentration will be on one’s actions, specifically in the work environment.
As an employee navigates the challenging terrain of the workplace, it is crucial to acknowledge and accept that one’s behavior has a direct influence over one’s career path. Therefore, a lack of self-awareness potentially deprives one of opportunities to identify areas in need of improvement and recognize how people around you react to your work ethic. Sometimes you really need to read the room. Have an honest conversation with yourself, do any of the points below describe how you act in the office? It just may be the reason why your career is stifled. Continue to read.
As an employee, you expend more time and energy attempting to exploit loopholes in company policies or undermine the organization as a whole by questioning every leadership directive out of spite. Being a staunch admirer of your own intelligence and skill; the sole goal is to outsmart the company or voice vigorous dissenting opinions – striving for maximum professional bedlam. Well, congratulations because you have officially branded yourself as either untrustworthy or cantankerous – maybe even both. And while your actions may not rise to the level of immediate termination; don’t expect career advancement any time soon. You are proving you do not align with the organization’s mission and vision. You do not add any value. And worst yet, you are most likely an exhaustive drain on leadership and your peers. And eventually, you just may be shown the door.
Your business is minding the business of your peers. And you never saw a bus too small to throw someone under. Yes, you are that type of employee that everyone despises. You are the type of employee that discloses private business offered to you in confidence. Your favorite hobby is snitching on fellow coworkers because you believe it elevates your status or perhaps you extract jollies from getting others in trouble. Sure, leadership may love gleaning valuable intelligence from their favorite informant, but trust, they will never elevate you above your current station. Your backhanded duplicitous nature does not exactly scream team player or leadership material. You lack respect from leadership and coworkers alike. You’re only useful at being used, and that is not position you should desire.
There is a clear distinction between being a righteous advocate for oneself and being a victim. Now, before everyone jumps all over me, yes, there are valid injustices in the workplace. And those occurrences should be identified and addressed accordingly. However, if you are repeatedly crying wolf absent supporting evidence & documentation to validate your assertions, your claims will lose credibility with each passing allegation. And honestly, the sad part is the aggrieved party knows full well that their grievances are without merit. Attention, good or bad, is still attention. Nevertheless, spoiler alert, no one likes drama. Work is already stressful. No one wants to welcome even more. Perhaps something more nefarious is afoot. Regrettably, perhaps it is just another ploy to work an angle for personal gain and subvert the system. This ties to the first bullet point above; lack of integrity and honesty is a surefire way to stall career advancement.
I understand there may be exceptions to the examples I listed above. However, odds are not in your favor if you embody any of the traits discussed here. Every now and again, one has to look in the mirror and determine if they are the source of their work problems and stagnant career. It may be difficult to confront yourself, but your growth and development will benefit in the long run.
I have been exceedingly blessed with just over twenty-one years of work experience; nineteen years employed by the same company. I am truly thankful and gracious to experience such longevity. I have held a number of roles at various levels within the organization, and I have observed the varying degrees of success and failure of other colleagues. At this point, I am never surprised to see a colleague blame their lack of success on other individuals or the company itself. Now, I am not carelessly blind to the existence of professional barriers based on racial, gender, age, and sexual orientation discrimination. That is a topic for another conversation.
And while the aforementioned offenses could surely send a career down in flames; let us recognize other brazen violations that will not only severely hinder one’s career; it could get you terminated, sued, or perhaps even worse – sent to jail. Offenses such as sexual harassment, physical assault, theft, or NSFW material in the office will surely tank anyone aspiring an ascent up the corporate ladder. Today, however, I want to highlight 5 behaviors that aren’t so blatant. Well, maybe they are blatant. Still, you would be surprised that some individuals don’t connect these toxic traits to a sputtering or unfulfilling career.
5 Office Habits That Are Sabotaging Your Career
Gossiping – The professional environment should remain as such – professional. Yet many individuals behave as if they are still in grade school. To be sure, word does indeed travel fast – as does the identity of the individual spreading said word. Disseminating misinformation and/or disinformation is a good indicator that the person is not particularly trustworthy. Advancing your career could prove to be difficult if you develop a reputation for spreading inaccurate information, blatantly false information, or information that should otherwise be kept confidential. Leadership will be hard pressed to have an individual amongst the ranks that consistently leaks and spreads information to the detriment of the company.
Complaining – Straight up and to the point: No one wants to work with a malcontent. True indeed, misery loves company. However, misery needs to understand that the rest of us can do without your negativity and toxic attitude. Understand that your incessant complaining is draining and exhausting. Offering opposition absent any meaningful propositions is never constructive and adds zero value to the work environment. The malcontent only exceeds at dampening spirits, derailing productivity, and worse yet – spreading their toxicity to other employees. If presented with the opportunity, a company would be most inclined to remove this workplace cancer from the team.
Average at Best – A professional should never be too comfortable with being comfortable. True, one can feel fully satisfied with their current work situation with absolutely no desire for further advancement. And that is fair. However, performing the bare minimum just to skate by could very well jeopardize performance reviews and tag you as exceedingly expendable. I am not advocating that one work themselves into an early grave for an ungrateful employer. However, willful acceptance of mediocrity is not doing your development any favors – professionally or even personally.
The Office Villain – Closely related to the complainer; but instead of consistently sharing their disdain solely towards the company, venom is also unleased upon fellow colleagues. Communication consists of belittling and disparaging others. Work ethic is strictly self-serving without any regard for making the team better. The office villain is obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, and quick to throw anyone under the bus to get ahead or avoid responsibility. This person never crossed a bridge they didn’t like to torch. In the workplace, your reputation is your brand. So, don’t expect anyone to invest in you if the product is unprincipled, cantankerous, and trash.
Bad Work Performance – This example is self-explanatory. Woefully devoid of self-awareness, you are unabashedly terrible in your role. Trust, at any moment, your belongings could be in a cardboard box. Yet, you think your dreadful work performance and poor work ethic should be handsomely rewarded during performance review time. The profound lack of ownership regarding your shortcomings and errors is breathtaking. You display little curiosity in learning and growing within your professional craft. If you are adding little to no value (maybe even adding negative value) to a company; understand that your career stagnation is wholly your own doing.
Note: There are exceptions to every rule, and some individuals you may see succeeding embody the traits above. Nevertheless, that is not an excuse for you to exhibit the same behaviors. Ultimately, the goal is to be the best version of yourself and live your best life.
Well, the NBA season is underway, and it is one of the more anticipated seasons in recent memory. There are a myriad of competitive head-to-head matchups that have fans salivating. This season is also filled with some interesting controversies and headlines that exploded throughout the world of sports before the season even began. One of those controversies involve Ben Simmons and his tumultuous relationship with the Philadelphia 76ers. Following a dreadful playoff performance that witnessed him literally avoid touching the basketball, passing up open shots, and passing immediately to teammates if he did get his fingertips on the ball.
Simmons lost confidence in his shot and was petrified of going to the free throw line. Already a bad free throw shooter at 61%, that average plummeted to a woeful 34% during the playoffs. The Philadelphia fanbase and media were merciless. To be honest, Simmons was shook mentally, and I seriously felt remorse for the guy. I am old enough to remember a similar mental block occur with former NBA star Nick Anderson. However, as bad as the press have been, Simmons has exhibited a glaring lack of accountability and self-awareness. Simmons is fortunate. He is still a superstar with a ton of talent, so he can still be an asset to any team seeking a championship. Nevertheless, the average employee works in the real world absent multimillion dollar contracts, agents, and basketball talent to leverage demands. Exhibiting behavior like Ben Simmons just may get you terminated. Here are some behaviors one should definitely avoid when working in the office.
Bad Work Performance – If you are gainfully employed by a company, there is a logical expectation that you perform your job suitably enough to receive compensation. Now, whether or not those wages are fair & competitive is subject matter for another blog post. Nevertheless, if you are an employee with suspect work ethic and inadequate work performance, a company can reserve the authority to separate you from the business. Unlike Ben Simmons, it is highly doubtful you will be afforded the same opportunity to dial in bad performance after bad performance without meaning repercussions. People also have a self-inflated sense of their worth. Sure, one should always have confidence in oneself. However, you can’t have Craig Ehlo skills with a Michael Jordan attitude.
Lack of Growth & Development – Now, if bad work performance is one issue, lack of self-awareness is certainly another problem. If you are performing poorly at work, management should be providing feedback regarding expectations and suggestions for personal improvement. An ambivalent or otherwise adversarial attitude is not in your best interests. Failing to improve and better yourself will only lead to career stagnation. You don’t want to be viewed as expendable. You must be able to step back and identify your weaknesses if you wan to become a better version of yourself.
No Showing At Work – Unless your company has a union that has strategically planned a walkout or strike, it is in your best interest to show up to work. Failing to show up to work for a certain number of days can be viewed as job abandonment. Unlike Simmons, the average worker cannot skip training camp and the preseason. It is either you show up to work or find other means to make a living.
Alienating Coworkers – It is not unusual for an employee to have some sort of beef with management. However, if you have bad relationships with your coworkers, you could possibly be contributing to a toxic environment. No one wants to work with a malcontent. If you are a disruption to the mission, vision, and team; management will sooner sever all ties with you for the good of the team. This is known as addition by subtraction – removing a cancer from the team in order to move in a positive, constructive direction.
Insubordination and Disrespectful Behavior – To be sure, there is a chain of command in the workplace. And unless you are at the top of that chain, an employee has a leader to whom they report. Noncompliance with a directive from leadership is a surefire way to earn a pink slip. Disrespecting your leadership is a surefire way to earn a pink slip.
I understand that some of these points may not be popular, but this needs to be read by someone. Because, as social media and celebrity figures continue to influence and empower, the every day employee may believe they can operate like said celebrity. That is simply not the case in the real world. And as Dave Chappelle alluded to in his latest Netflix special, but in a different context, Twitter is not a real place. And thinking you can move like the famous or people who are social media famous might get you fired. My suggestion: Go to work and be fully present. Practice some self-reflection and humility as you become the best version of yourself. Ensure that you build meaningful relationships and respect leadership. And if the fit is not right for you; seek other opportunities in a professional manner.
