Thankful. That is how I feel today – really thankful. Thankful for my health. Thankful for my family. Thankful for my job. I am even thankful for my 2000 Nissan Altima; which is finally starting to show its age. Those miles are steadily starting to weather my primary mode of transportation. First it was my knock sensor. Then a screw worked its way free from the hinges on my driver’s door, thus preventing it from opening all the way. Then came the entire replacement of my brake system. And now, when I attempt to pump gasoline, the nozzle clicks continuously as if my tank is full (it is not), and oddly there is a little gas spillage underneath the bottom.

So Monday, I sat at my desk in disbelief, it appeared that more repairs were on the way. And for a little bit, I was bummed. But then I heard news of the shooting at the Washington, D.C. Navy Yard. Suddenly, I was snapped back to reality. Seriously, I didn’t have anything to be bummed about. So what, I have an old car that is going to be subject to wear and tear. It’s supposed to happen; it’s an old car. The Washington, D.C. Navy Yard – that’s not supposed to happen. Sandy Hook Elementary School – that’s not supposed to happen. The mass indiscriminate shootings that currently plague cities such as Chicago, Flint, and Detroit – that’s not supposed to happen. And so I sit here today…thankful. Because, a blessed gentleman understands that even if his own reality seems glum, there exists a truly somber, horrid reality that he has not experienced. And for that, he is thankful for the miniscule, insignificant worries that he has of his own.

The responsible gentleman understands the principles of accountability. Ownership. Culpability. Obligation. Any attempt to avoid or avert responsibility is not entertained. If his conduct is unbecoming or offensive, he does not contort his face with surprised expressions of coy denial. No, he exhibits the correct amount of sincere compunction, and he actively searches for a viable resolution to atone for his actions. He is not seeking total absolution, as he understands the act of forgiveness is a process – a sometimes complicated process. His only objective is to acknowledge his guilt, offer an earnest apology, and establish a suitable resolution. That is the standard he abides by, as that is the only standard he knows. Ensure that you know it too.

Men are not born with what one would identify as a “gentleman” gene in their DNA. Sure, some men naturally gravitate towards chivalrous, courteous behavior – but more often than not, such behavior is learned and embedded during various stages of male maturation. Conversely, some adolescents mature without said chivalrous attributes ever being instilled in their life. And that is an unfortunate reality; a reality that is shared by far too many young men growing up today. That must change. Now, as a child I would accompany my grandmother to the market for an afternoon of grocery shopping. My grandmother did not know how to drive, so we would walk to the market and I would help her carry grocery bags home. My brothers and I would actually request to tag along for such shopping excursions.

And now as an adult, I find myself helping elderly women in the market with their groceries, or helping them load bags into their car. Old habits die hard. Unbeknownst to me, the seeds of a future gentleman were being planted when I was but a youth. Furthermore, that benevolent mindset extends to other aspects in my life as well. Whether freeing a woman’s car from a snowbank or carrying a pregnant woman’s work bags to her car, I am driven by gentlemanly instinct. That is an instinct that must be imparted in young men today. It can be taught as an uncle, a mentor, a friend, or simply as a father. Chivalry. Valor. Courtesy. Politeness. Helpfulness. These are commodities that appear to be in scarce supply nowadays. If you are an owner of any or all, your wisdom is in high demand. Go ahead, there is a young man that needs you today.

The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself. He alone determines and dictates the manner in which he is presented to the world. When he gazes into the mirror, the reflection of greatness should readily greet him. It does not begin with the clothing he chooses to attire himself in, nor the vehicle he selects to navigate city streets. Not the place of employment where he makes a living. Not the amount of money presently residing in his bank account. Why? Well, because character starts with his self-worth. His esteem is not erected upon a mountain of biodegradable materialism – subject to decay and waste. No, the gentleman’s image is based on gentlemanly fundamentals that are concrete and certain. Virtue. Honor. Principle. Forthrightness. The Gentlemen’s Standard.

Firmly standing upright under an unrelenting, blistering storm of vitriolic contempt and caustic distrust, the successful gentleman remains undeterred in his journey towards triumph. Triumph – born of an unwavering resolve and complete assurance in his abilities; this gentleman cannot be denied what he has tirelessly striven for. And despite ardent attempts to trivialize his work, undermine his legitimacy, or boldly question his intellect; ignorance and hatred will be trumped every time. Believe it. No amount of mockery can shake his confidence. He is resolute. He is intelligent. He is courageous. More importantly, he recognizes that there exists individuals consumed with hubris and guided by conceit, which ultimately hastens their downfall. So, he stays in his lane and does what he does best – win. Are you a winner?

To be sure, a minimalist approach to sophisticated style can yield maximum sartorial benefit. A simple color scheme assisted by a clean pocket square, discreet tie bar, inconspicuous necktie, and understated timepiece is the perfect example of dialed-back elegance. No need for intrusive fashion statements. Why all of the fuss? Really? Weighing down an otherwise immaculate presentation with unnecessary, garish details can be self-defeating. Realize, quiet sartorial charm can often speak the loudest.

An honorable gentleman fully comprehends the concept of exhibiting class, sympathy, and compassion. During episodes of great tragedy or human misery, the humane gentleman believes in charity and generosity. It is second nature. The considerate gentleman does not greedily seize upon the opportunity to criticize, politicize, or monetize unfortunate realities. His moral fiber is fortified with virtue and humility. He understands that the weight of life may prove too great for some individuals to bear. Alas, he has been blessed with robust shoulders that can bear life’s burdens, and that fact is not lost on him. He is blessed to be a blessing to those in need. Because, benevolence is a character trait that is not foreign to him, nor is it casually minimized. It is far too easy, agonizingly too simple to take what life has pleasantly afforded us for granted. Sometimes, perspective becomes distorted when the lens has become clouded with prosperity. Allow your wisdom to correct your focus. Your current situation could be dramatically different-and not in a good way. Be thankful. And always remember to assist others who may be in need. It could be you that requires the empathetic generosity of a stranger one day.

To the audience, and I can’t stress this point quite forcefully enough, regardless of a gentleman’s level of employment, absolute professionalism is a must at all times. Seriously. Because, and this is more times often than not, an individual will start a chosen career at ground level. Nevertheless, it is incumbent that a gentleman take responsibility for his own career growth. Entry level should not be tantamount to the “only” level. Embrace a positive attitude, maintain a diligent work ethic, strive to learn continuously, and exude professionalism. Now, that is the second time I have referenced that word – professionalism. It is important. Really important. It could determine how far you travel down your respected career path. You may possess the intelligence, wit, and drive to get the job accomplished; but being a poor professional at your job can undermine your efforts, especially at entry-level.

First rule: Steer clear of childish office politics, or in other words, avoid office gossip. You are at a place of employment – not high school. A gentleman should never speak ill of his supervisor or even co-workers to other people in the workplace. Why? Because, gossip travels. If you have a critique or issue – say it to the individual’s face. No one likes a person they cannot trust. No one likes a two-faced, sneaky, passive aggressive louse that smiles in your face and stabs you in the back. Don’t be that guy in the office. There are already too many count. Stuck in place. Stuck in a rut. But not you because you are above it all. You arrive at work and perform your duties above and beyond what is required. And you do it with a positive attitude. You gain the respect and trust of your peers. You’re moving up in the world like elevators – like a true professional.

Undeterred by difficult obstacles in his path, the accomplished gentleman understands that he must remain true to his beliefs. Resolute in making decisions regarding his future, he does not let circumstances or individuals negatively influence his actions. Doubt can never become a factor, for doubt is a killer of faith and kidnapper of hope. Nevertheless, this gentleman is acutely focused. All challenges are welcomed. He remains remarkably steady, even in the face of naysayers. And even if success does not arrive expeditiously, he understands patience is an ally of diligence. And together, they will bring forth prosperity. Transforming aspirational dreams into reality, this gentleman never betrays his goals. He never betrays his work. And most important, he never betrays himself. Success feels so much better this way.

The responsible gentleman understands the principles of accountability. Ownership. Culpability. Obligation. Any attempt to avoid or avert responsibility is not entertained. If his conduct is unbecoming or offensive, he does not contort his face with surprised expressions of coy denial. No, he exhibits the correct amount of sincere compunction, and he actively searches for a viable resolution to atone for his actions. He is not seeking total absolution, as he understands the act of forgiveness is a process – a sometimes complicated process. His only objective is to acknowledge his guilt, offer an earnest apology, and establish a suitable resolution. That is the standard he abides by, as that is the only standard he knows. Ensure that you know it too.

The intellectual gentleman recognizes the power of education, and he champions its virtue. He fully understands that knowledge is the beginning of intellectual growth & prosperity. He understands that the proper use of his knowledge can transform distant aspirations into touchable reality. His success hinges on steadfast labor and the unequivocal dedication to achieving educational excellence. Each gentleman has this ability – the ability to set meaningful goals and accomplish an array of tasks that he has undertaken. A gentleman’s potential is but a ready seed, thirsting for the water produced from sweat, and sometimes – salty tears. What, you thought it would be easy? Nothing worth the labor expended ever is.

Seriously, educating oneself is paramount, it is key. And through education, one begins to realize that no goal is too precipitous to climb and conquer. And understand, goals do not plateau, for learning does not cease once adulthood is reached. Learning does not abruptly halt once the classroom is a faint memory or college professors stop instructing. Grow your knowledge because knowledge is strength for the body, mind, and spirit.  Read a book. Watch a documentary. Seek out educational courses offered at a local community college or center. Make every attempt to continuously exercise your mind. So gentlemen, grow your minds, pursue your dreams, make them a reality, and once you are there – don’t stop growing.

The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself. He alone determines and dictates the manner in which he is presented to the world. When he gazes into the mirror, the reflection of greatness should readily greet him. It does not begin with the clothing he chooses to attire himself in, nor the vehicle he selects to navigate city streets. Not the place of employment where he makes a living. Not the amount of money presently residing in his bank account. Why? Well, because character starts with his self-worth. His esteem is not erected upon a mountain of biodegradable materialism – subject to decay and waste. No, the gentleman’s image is based on gentlemanly fundamentals that are concrete and certain. Virtue. Honor. Principle. Forthrightness. The Gentlemen’s Standard.

Firmly standing upright under an unrelenting, blistering storm of vitriolic contempt and caustic distrust, the successful gentleman remains undeterred in his journey towards triumph. Triumph – born of an unwavering resolve and complete assurance in his abilities; this gentleman cannot be denied what he has tirelessly striven for. And despite ardent attempts to trivialize his work, undermine his legitimacy, or boldly question his intellect; ignorance and hatred will be trumped every time. Believe it. No amount of mockery can shake his confidence. He is resolute. He is intelligent. He is courageous. More importantly, he recognizes that there exists individuals consumed with hubris and guided by conceit, which ultimately hastens their downfall. So, he stays in his lane and does what he does best – win. Are you a winner?

True story: So, after a strenuous morning of doing battle with some heavy dumbbells, I am retrieving my belongings in the gentleman’s locker room when another gentleman enters and discreetly disappears around a corner. Now, what followed next was not so discreet. Bellowing around the corner, I was audibly assaulted by loud moans and groans emanating from the urinal area. Seriously dude – what the hell? I could not discern whether he was emptying his bladder or performing a four-finger shuffle with his manhood. Now, it is utterly ridiculous that I have to write an entry like this, but it would appear that some gentlemen require the proper instruction regarding urinal etiquette. Here are five edicts that every gentleman should commit to memory before stepping foot in a public restroom.

• Sure, that Pepsi has been resting in your bladder for the duration of that 2 hour meeting, but that is no excuse to get all X-rated at the urinal with moans of eye-fluttering ecstasy. Relieve yourself as quietly as possible.

• And speaking of quiet, you can wait to discuss why that 2 hour meeting was pointless to begin with in the first place. But, if you feel the burning need ( no, hopefully not that burning need ) to discuss your supervisor’s leadership, or lack thereof, please do so in brief.

• Now, if you have made the decision to partake in some urinal chit-chat, remember that if your head swivels to the left or right, the other one below the belt should remain fixed in one direction: straight ahead. Because, when stepping up to plate, no gentleman likes to step in puddles of pee, or the dried, sticky variety for that matter – it’s urinal area, not a fly trap. Bonus edict: Flatulence can be a pain, but releasing a sonic boom around your fellow gents is crass, and it just makes your urinal mate feel uncomfortable.

• The following is a personal plea: drink more water gentlemen! Forgive me, I’m not trying to get all up in your personal business, I’m just tired of being greeted by the aroma of ammonia and stale syrup when I enter a public restroom. Bonus edict: Flush the toilet my friend. Looking into a bowl with what appears to be Samuel Adams pooled in the bottom is just unsightly.

• Lastly, wash your damn hands! Pardon the language, but that is just nasty. No one wants to shake your filthy paws. Note: Washing one’s hands is not constituted by a quick splash of water on the mittens, followed by a hasty shake to dry them off. I’m going to need you to use some soap and water while humming the alphabet song in your head – you need to make it to at least the letter O.