Because, upon discovering himself in the midst of uncertainty and disquiet, the confident gentleman understands that indecision cannot be an absolute decision. This is exactly where I discovered myself, as a supervisor, this month at my place of employment. Over the course of two years, it has been an enlightening, humbling experience wrought with anxiety, stress, and self-doubt. At times, finally feeling a self-assured comfort with my leadership abilities, and other times, arrested by a sense of failure and inadequacy within my profession. However, when confronted with extenuating circumstances on a myriad of fronts, the definitive, resolute decision-making of a leader was required, and I would either excel or succumb to my professional fears. As reason and logic stood in ambiguous contrast with emotion and empathy, only prayer and deep meditation could grant sound thinking and measured action. And in the end, I was the leader that I had difficulty embracing. Sometimes, the Lord allows tribulation to have a season to reveal self-assured abilities, integrity, and character within oneself in the face of debilitating self-doubt. Faith is trusting the Lord even when life’s challenges are perplexing and burdens appear too heavy to bear. You are the leader that you know you are; trust in Him and fortify yourself in His strength.

An honorable gentleman fully comprehends the concept of exhibiting class, sympathy, and compassion. During episodes of great tragedy or human misery, the humane gentleman believes in charity and generosity. It is second nature. The considerate gentleman does not greedily seize upon the opportunity to criticize, politicize, or monetize unfortunate realities. His moral fiber is fortified with virtue and humility. He understands that the weight of life may prove too great for some individuals to bear. Alas, he has been blessed with robust shoulders that can bear life’s burdens, and that fact is not lost on him. He is blessed to be a blessing to those in need. Because, benevolence is a character trait that is not foreign to him, nor is it casually minimized. It is far too easy, agonizingly too simple to take what life has pleasantly afforded us for granted. Sometimes, perspective becomes distorted when the lens has become clouded with prosperity. Allow your wisdom to correct your focus. Your current situation could be dramatically different-and not in a good way. Be thankful. And always remember to assist others who may be in need. It could be you that requires the empathetic generosity of a stranger one day.

The wise gentleman comprehends the strength and value of living a life of integrity. During critical affairs arising from a moral or ethical dilemma, a learned gentleman is wisely deliberate and unequivocal regarding his ideological position. He understands that his words are absent merit or worth if he has to be badgered or shamed into speaking for what is righteous and just. Decency need not be stubbornly coaxed or passionately implored for proper address, nor should truth be shrouded by purposeful ambiguity that benefits self interests. Words and action are delivered with thoughtful reflection and measured balance. Because, during defining moments of uncertainty and unprincipled behavior, the upstanding gentleman is a moral constant, leading a life representative of virtue and rectitude in a world rife with turmoil.

A gentleman understands that position and power should not be prostituted for profit and pleasure. Rather, an honorable gentleman understands his platform is erected upon pillars of purpose and principle. Embracing a mission of justice and service, he understands that power and prosperity can be perverted if treated as a self-serving priority. Therefore, his conduct is grounded in truth, integrity, and righteous action. A gentleman that declares himself a leader will work at the behest and best interests of the people. Superlative servitude within a community is at its best within the sphere of sacrifice. Power should be wielded for the community and never against it.

The distinguished gentleman fully recognizes the weight and gravity of verbal communication. He thoroughly understands that his words should be well-formed and well-thought before delivering them to an audience. Tone is absolutely paramount. Be not mistaken, the incorrect tone may very well increase the probability of his words being dismissed and/or misconstrued. And a harsh, abrasive tone could certainly lead to a combative environment that renders a conversation unproductive and moot. The well-spoken gentleman utilizes the power of eloquence, understanding, and persuasion to communicate effectively with an individual or group of individuals. Productive communication requires both listening and speaking; so devoting the required, concentrated attention to someone’s words is utterly important before forming your own statement. The articulate gentleman abstains from communication steeped in inflammatory rhetoric wrought with condescension and arrogance. It may be easy to deem as insignificant or forget, but trust that words carry deep meaning, and said words have the undeniable power to evoke an emotional response. Because, as words gradually dissipate from memory, what is left is that indelible mark of emotion etched into someone’s feelings, and that could either positive or negative. The choice is your own – choose your words wisely.

Surely, you may be familiar with the expression chivalry is dead, and furthermore, you may be familiar with the alleged reason for its demise – feminism. However, that reasoning is problematic. Quite honestly, I have the belief that this thought process is a falsehood, an excuse born out of a convenient resignation of general good manners and civility. Or perhaps it is a direct result of an unfortunate encounter with a woman that resulted in an erosion in trust and abandonment of goodwill. Nevertheless, a true gentleman recognizes that one needs not adhere to unrealistic, antiquated expectations and traditions. A true gentleman recognizes that the only standard required of a gentleman is courtesy, helpfulness, politeness, and basic human decency. Chivalry is not dead if you reject negative influences that trumpet its passing; its practice is sorely needed to foster kind, supportive engagement for both men and women. It is a practice that should be upheld and acted upon by all.

Humility. The act of possessing a modest opinion of one’s importance, understanding the complex context of life, and respecting the reality that other individuals may be better at some things than you. Gentlemen, please don’t be mislead by the boisterous musings of silly folk; so enamored by their own greatness that they cannot recognize their own shortcomings. Sometimes a man must recognize his faults and limitations. There is no shame in that. One must understand that embracing humility does not make a gentleman weak, actually, humility strengthens you. It keeps you grounded. It keeps you focused – on the important things in life.

It is brazen arrogance that renders a gentleman vulnerable. Trust this: Keep living and life will eventually happen to you. And life can be the greatest administrator of humility. Recognize your position in life, and even if your station ranks well above others, discipline yourself in humility, as the folly of vanity can ultimately become your undoing. You don’t want to discover this bit of wisdom the hard way, but I am sure that you won’t. Maintain the standard my friends; catch you later.

Sometimes success cannot be realized without the presence of adversity and hardship. To summon a gentleman’s absolute best, on occasion, his goals must be subjected to strain and threatened with the possibility of failure. Confronted with the reality of such disappointment, burdened with seemingly perpetual stress, a gentleman must call upon his courage to persevere and transform his aspirations into an actuality. To secure his accomplishments, the successful gentleman is fully cognizant of the sacrifice, discipline, and resilience required to obtain his goals. He understands that setbacks are not to be considered failures, rather they serve as moment of educational reflection to reevaluate his methodology and proceed with meeting his objectives accordingly. On his way to success, undoubtedly there will be struggle, doubt, and fear. However, his will to succeed, to bring about the best he has offer, far outweighs the specter of defeat.