Earlier this week, a coworker presented to me an article she read, and contained within this perplexing article, this particular writer unabashedly proclaimed that he hated being a black male. Say what? The writer, Orville Lloyd Douglas, pens an interesting perspective of black self-hatred. He writes, “There is a discourse that black people engender: that black is beautiful. But the truth is, the image of blackness is ugly – at least it’s perceived that way. There is nothing special or wonderful about being a black male – it is a life of misery and shame.” I think it is unfortunate that Mr. Douglas has arrived at this troublesome conclusion. I cannot attest to knowing all the life experiences that Mr. Douglas has been exposed to that aided the shaping of his viewpoint. Nevertheless, can being a black man really be all that bad?

To be clear, I mean this: bad to the point when you hate and loathe your very existence. It is painfully and regretfully apparent that Mr. Douglas is far too preoccupied with how society views him, even though it is counter to his true character and personality. Seriously, Mr. Douglas is an adult, and he still laments the fact that many people won’t sit by him on a bus. What is this – 2nd grade? Adolescence is but a distant memory, and as adults, such occurrences should not elicit such a profound and emotional response.

Obviously, there are some self-esteem issues afoot here. A long time ago, on this very blog, I wrote: The knowledgeable gentleman comprehends that his image does not begin with how society views him. Rather, the gentleman’s image begins with how he sees himself. He alone determines and dictates the manner in which he is presented to the world. Mr. Douglas would be wise to heed those words. One’s confidence should originate and emanate from within. A gentlemen should never discover himself so engrossed over the prejudiced presumption of others; it is not healthy.

Nonetheless, I won’t pretend that there aren’t some “challenges” to being a black male, especially here in America. Still, I won’t let those “challenges” deter me from loving and appreciating who I am. Alas, loving myself isn’t newsworthy, as it is not shocking enough or self-deprecating enough to warrant any type of national attention. Mr. Douglas has a multitude of people now reading his article and he even garnered a segment on CNN with Don Lemon, who by the way has morphed into some kind of racial authority all of a sudden.

I digress, here I present to you why I, Glen Antoine Palmer, love being a black man. The delivery is presented with a mildly amusing tone, but the message is clear nonetheless. I love myself. Perhaps there are few nuggets below that Mr. Douglas can appreciate. Perhaps Mr. Douglas will realize his skin is not a curse, rather, it is his God given image that is a blessing. That being stated, let’s dive into my list.

Why I Love Being a Black Man

5. Black women. Sure, I understand that everyone has the opportunity to court and perhaps even marry a black woman. However, being a black male, I am in a unique position because of my logistical exposure to black women. Growing up in predominantly black Detroit, I was surrounded by lovely women of color. Trust, I don’t care what the mainstream media says implicitly or explicitly, black is beautiful, and I love my black woman, aka…Stephanie Palmer.

Plump lips. Thick hips. And curves that never quit. Yeah, I said it. And the powers that be can call it nappy. Some can call it kinky. I really don’t care. I love it all natural and untamed. Blame it on a childhood crush on Chaka Khan. You can call it what you want, but I love it – my black woman’s hair. I love every facet that is her; perfect or imperfect. Period.

4. Let’s talk about the “intimidation” factor. Granted, being a black male, sometimes the way we are perceived can place us in some uncomfortable, precarious, and dangerous situations based on another individual’s fears. However, let’s talk about the good that arrives with it. Yes – there is some good. The aforementioned empty bus seat that Mr. Douglas wishes someone would sit in beside him? Whatever dude. I’m a robust gentleman, and I welcome the elbow room. Solicitors tend not to approach me. Coworkers too – which is fine with me because I’m not big on heavy conversation anyway. And if ever I find myself in a hostage situation, I’m holding out hope that I’ll be let go, I figure I wouldn’t be a good bargaining chip with the authorities.

3. We’re cool. You read that correctly. Black gentlemen are cool. Everyone knows it. Now, that may sound a little arrogant, maybe even a tad presumptuous. But let’s be honest, there exists a certain confidence and swagger that is distinctly unique to the black male. The talk. The walk. The dress. Even for an introvert like me, sometimes my coolness pops out even takes me by surprise. Often imitated, but never duplicated. There is no way you’re going to adopt my swagger and then make me feel ashamed of who I am. Nope – not going to happen player.

2. Are you familiar with the expression “black goes with everything”? Well, when it comes to attire, that is pretty much true. We can make just about anything look fly. Equipped with the proper accoutrements, a gentleman of color can absolutely wear the -excuse the language- hell out of some clothes. Yes…we…can. Renounce the black male stereotype that was birthed by a system whose objective (not the only objective, but one of many) was to subjugate, denigrate, and make a caricature out of the black male image. And please ignore my skinfolk that perpetuate those negative stereotypes. Please do a search of Brotherly Love right here on this blog. You’ll find a myriad of brothers that eschew the stereotypes you may be accustomed to. And if that doesn’t sway you, check out the author bio in the About section.

1. I understand my ancestral lineage originates from a people who were enslaved, nevertheless, I also understand that I am here because of someone’s perseverance, someone’s strength, someone’s survival. The media may not portray it, but there exists formidable strength in my DNA. I will be damned if someone tells me otherwise. Boom. I’m out.

Are you tired of negative stereotypes and destructive imagery that permeate modern culture, especially regarding people of color? Well, spread some goodness. Spread the word about this blog. Tweet it. Post an article from this blog on your Facebook wall. Do whatever you can. It’s Gent Appreciation Week, let’s spread a little positivity in the world.

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard on incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence.”

-Frederick Douglass

At the close of the regular business day, a gentleman is who he has to live with. If he constantly compromises his ideology for the appeasement of others, he is at risk of losing his identity. He is at risk of losing his credibility. Remaining true to your character is what makes you unique. Authenticity is paramount. It is essential, it is vital to a gentleman’s character. While it is often terribly difficult not to follow the crowd, you will receive the respect & admiration from people for standing on your principles. Most important, you will respect yourself. A gentleman should never acquiesce, he should never tacitly sacrifice his core beliefs because he is fearful of public derision. Stand firm. You are a gentleman of strong character and substance. You may incur differing amounts of ridicule, however, rest assured that those individuals admire your strength and resolve. And they should.

“What any human being can do in life depends upon the foundation laid between birth and age five.”

 James Meredith

We are teachers – in some form or another. Now, perhaps a majority of the reading audience are devoid of the appropriate formal certification, but we are indeed teachers nonetheless. Knowingly or unknowingly instructing through our behavior, language, and actions; we shape and mold young, virginal, and formless minds. That cannot be taken for granted. We are, first and foremost, the foreman of fashioning intellectual promise, building emotional stability, and framing principled character. During those early formative years, our guidance and instruction is needed – no – it is desperately crucial to a child’s development. Their future hinges on what we teach them in the present. And that is where we should be – present; never absent from their growth and maturation. It is time for us to lead by example. We are the models of morality. We are the cultivators of character. We are the installers of integrity. We enable enthusiasm for education, and we advocate the accrual of astounding accomplishments. The foundation is ready to be laid. Let’s not wait any longer.

“Let us realize too that even we disenfranchised have our duties.”

-W.E.B. Du Bois

Responsibility. Every gentleman owns a select portion of this in his community. Regardless of his limiting socioeconomic circumstances, a gentleman must deliver the very best of his talents for the improvement of his neighborhood. I definitely understand that this may be difficult for some gentlemen. One may feel that their status in society does not meet acceptable or suitable standards. However, I say to those individuals who may feel as if life has dealt a cruel poker hand; you still have much to offer. Do not sit idle and allow your gifts to waste and rot. Your community patiently awaits your arrival. Waiting for the “right” time when everything is correct in the world is not an option. What if the “right” time never arrives? The only right time is right now. Do not hesitate. Do not second guess. You are stronger, more intelligent, and more talented than you might realize; it is your duty to improve the environment around you. You possess the necessary tools to make a difference. Act now!

Sometimes perception, no matter how ignorantly misguided or foolishly erroneous, can be tragically dangerous. And as an African-American male, I fully comprehend the concept of perception, especially when viewed through the myopic lens that is the American eye. Seriously, don’t fool yourselves. Since the birth of this nation, the identity of the black male has been deftly manufactured and slyly constructed by a white power system that, by any means necessary, hungers to retain power. We are a stereotype that has been permanently branded into the psychology of this nation, leaving behind a charred residue of racial prejudice and bigotry that many people pretend doesn’t exist. And before you claim that I am overreacting, forget that you know Glen Antoine Palmer, the affable gentleman that writes this blog. I am a 6 foot 1, 240 pound black male with a bald head and thick beard. I rarely smile, not because I am in a foul mood, but because I really don’t like my smile all that much. No matter – I have a perpetually angry look all the time. Add in what someone has seen in a few rap videos, the more than occasional homicide in inner city Detroit, and the overall history of the black male being a hyper-sexual, violent savage – and voila – you have your stereotype.

Doesn’t matter that Glen is a devoted husband, a loving son, a mentor, a hard worker, a godfather, a friend, and an overall gentleman (with a nice suit & necktie game); I can be a threat or danger to anyone at any time, if they deem it within their minds. I will never forget, back when I was in college, a woman who lived upstairs in my apartment thought I could be a potential rapist. How did I know? Well, ironically she mentioned the big bald black guy who lived downstairs to my girlfriend, and future wife  – Stephanie, who was in her study group. When Stephanie realized what apartment she stayed in, and the only big bald black guy around was me, she calmly explained to her that I wasn’t that sort of man. Going forward, the lady upstairs was perfectly fine, well, since Stephanie vouched for me. Fact is, I was a stereotype. And it’s frustrating to be a stereotype, especially when you aren’t a stereotype. I don’t think I should be a tragedy waiting to happen based on another person’s misguided prejudice. But that is the sad reality; a reality that has existed since the birth of this nation. And unfortunately, it is a reality I have to live with everyday.

“His road of thought is what makes every man what he is.”

 Zora Neale Hurston

How a gentleman thinks is paramount in shaping and defining his character. Let it be understood, the thought process is unequivocally a crucial process. How one thinks has a direct impact on reality. A consistently melancholy and glum attitude can lead to an existence that is absent fulfillment, cheer, and hope. Recommendation: Think positively. Think happily. Think victoriously. Trust, positive thought is extremely important to an individual’s spiritual, mental, and physical health. Ensure that you demonstrate caution towards people who display a propensity for negative thinking. Thoughts can be tainted, or be allowed to flourish under the right conditions and circumstances. What you require is affirmation, encouragement, and support. Now, is it possible to think positively all of the time? Perhaps not. Nevertheless, if a gentleman cultivates an excellent grade of good mental soil, any nasty weed that sprouts without welcome can be readily purged from his head. But it is necessary that you begin with good fertile ground from which positive ideas, good behavior, and honorable character spring abundantly. It starts with positive thinking. It starts with you. It starts today.

“What any human being can do in life depends upon the foundation laid between birth and age five.”

– James Meredith

We are teachers – in some form or another. Now, perhaps a majority of the reading audience are devoid of the appropriate formal certification, but we are indeed teachers nonetheless. Knowingly or unknowingly instructing through our behavior, language, and actions; we shape and mold young, virginal, and formless minds. That cannot be taken for granted. We are, first and foremost, the foreman of fashioning intellectual promise, building emotional stability, and framing principled character. During those early formative years, our guidance and instruction is needed – no – it is desperately crucial to a child’s development. Their future hinges on what we teach them in the present. And that is where we should be – present; never absent from their growth and maturation. It is time for us to lead by example. We are the models of morality. We are the cultivators of character. We are the installers of integrity. We enable enthusiasm for education, and we advocate the accrual of astounding accomplishments. The foundation is ready to be laid. Let’s not wait any longer.

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

 – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Failure. To be absolutely certain, the possibility of failure sometimes negates the action of risk. But without risk, albeit intelligent and calculated risk, the beauty of success cannot be viewed from above if one willfully settles into deep valley of fear. Now fear, of course, can be a powerful and intense emotion that dictates behavior and conduct. A myriad of promising dreams and aspirations have collapsed under the immense weight of fear. Fortunately, your broad shoulders are blessed with the strength to not only bear the doubt, the trepidation, the uneasiness; they are also strong enough to press its worrisome mass high and toss it aside with relative ease. Why? Well, because friend, your character is constructed with a firm confidence and fortified with unwavering faith. Even when others cannot see the entire picture, your vision is broadened by belief, hope, and trust – in yourself. And you understand that your vision is a vision of success. The path is set, the destination is clear, all you have to do is take the first step. And don’t fear, we’re all walking this road together.

“Anytime you see somebody more successful than you are, they are doing something you aren’t.”

– Malcolm X

The haunting fear of failure can certainly impede any aspiring gentleman from realizing his dreams & goals. Well, success does not arrive without crooks in the road or cracks in the pavement. However, the gentleman should never let such things deter him from accomplishing any rewarding or desired objective. Anyone who has tasted any form of success understands this completely. The successful gentleman welcomes and embodies the meaning of sacrifice. He stretches himself to enormous lengths, such lengths that maybe the next man is not willing to endure. Endless days. Weary eyes. Growing frustration. Certain disappointment. Perseverance and diligence is instrumental. Locate and recognize success. Appreciate it. Study it. Learn from it. Emulate it. Mold your path to success and allow nothing to block your progress.