“What any human being can do in life depends upon the foundation laid between birth and age five.”

 James Meredith

We are teachers – in some form or another. Now, perhaps a majority of the reading audience are devoid of the appropriate formal certification, but we are indeed teachers nonetheless. Knowingly or unknowingly instructing through our behavior, language, and actions; we shape and mold young, virginal, and formless minds. That cannot be taken for granted. We are, first and foremost, the foreman of fashioning intellectual promise, building emotional stability, and framing principled character. During those early formative years, our guidance and instruction is needed – no – it is desperately crucial to a child’s development. Their future hinges on what we teach them in the present. And that is where we should be – present; never absent from their growth and maturation. It is time for us to lead by example. We are the models of morality. We are the cultivators of character. We are the installers of integrity. We enable enthusiasm for education, and we advocate the accrual of astounding accomplishments. The foundation is ready to be laid. Let’s not wait any longer.

“Let us realize too that even we disenfranchised have our duties.”

-W.E.B. Du Bois

Responsibility. Every gentleman owns a select portion of this in his community. Regardless of his limiting socioeconomic circumstances, a gentleman must deliver the very best of his talents for the improvement of his neighborhood. I definitely understand that this may be difficult for some gentlemen. One may feel that their status in society does not meet acceptable or suitable standards. However, I say to those individuals who may feel as if life has dealt a cruel poker hand; you still have much to offer. Do not sit idle and allow your gifts to waste and rot. Your community patiently awaits your arrival. Waiting for the “right” time when everything is correct in the world is not an option. What if the “right” time never arrives? The only right time is right now. Do not hesitate. Do not second guess. You are stronger, more intelligent, and more talented than you might realize; it is your duty to improve the environment around you. You possess the necessary tools to make a difference. Act now!

Sometimes perception, no matter how ignorantly misguided or foolishly erroneous, can be tragically dangerous. And as an African-American male, I fully comprehend the concept of perception, especially when viewed through the myopic lens that is the American eye. Seriously, don’t fool yourselves. Since the birth of this nation, the identity of the black male has been deftly manufactured and slyly constructed by a white power system that, by any means necessary, hungers to retain power. We are a stereotype that has been permanently branded into the psychology of this nation, leaving behind a charred residue of racial prejudice and bigotry that many people pretend doesn’t exist. And before you claim that I am overreacting, forget that you know Glen Antoine Palmer, the affable gentleman that writes this blog. I am a 6 foot 1, 240 pound black male with a bald head and thick beard. I rarely smile, not because I am in a foul mood, but because I really don’t like my smile all that much. No matter – I have a perpetually angry look all the time. Add in what someone has seen in a few rap videos, the more than occasional homicide in inner city Detroit, and the overall history of the black male being a hyper-sexual, violent savage – and voila – you have your stereotype.

Doesn’t matter that Glen is a devoted husband, a loving son, a mentor, a hard worker, a godfather, a friend, and an overall gentleman (with a nice suit & necktie game); I can be a threat or danger to anyone at any time, if they deem it within their minds. I will never forget, back when I was in college, a woman who lived upstairs in my apartment thought I could be a potential rapist. How did I know? Well, ironically she mentioned the big bald black guy who lived downstairs to my girlfriend, and future wife  – Stephanie, who was in her study group. When Stephanie realized what apartment she stayed in, and the only big bald black guy around was me, she calmly explained to her that I wasn’t that sort of man. Going forward, the lady upstairs was perfectly fine, well, since Stephanie vouched for me. Fact is, I was a stereotype. And it’s frustrating to be a stereotype, especially when you aren’t a stereotype. I don’t think I should be a tragedy waiting to happen based on another person’s misguided prejudice. But that is the sad reality; a reality that has existed since the birth of this nation. And unfortunately, it is a reality I have to live with everyday.

“His road of thought is what makes every man what he is.”

 Zora Neale Hurston

How a gentleman thinks is paramount in shaping and defining his character. Let it be understood, the thought process is unequivocally a crucial process. How one thinks has a direct impact on reality. A consistently melancholy and glum attitude can lead to an existence that is absent fulfillment, cheer, and hope. Recommendation: Think positively. Think happily. Think victoriously. Trust, positive thought is extremely important to an individual’s spiritual, mental, and physical health. Ensure that you demonstrate caution towards people who display a propensity for negative thinking. Thoughts can be tainted, or be allowed to flourish under the right conditions and circumstances. What you require is affirmation, encouragement, and support. Now, is it possible to think positively all of the time? Perhaps not. Nevertheless, if a gentleman cultivates an excellent grade of good mental soil, any nasty weed that sprouts without welcome can be readily purged from his head. But it is necessary that you begin with good fertile ground from which positive ideas, good behavior, and honorable character spring abundantly. It starts with positive thinking. It starts with you. It starts today.

“What any human being can do in life depends upon the foundation laid between birth and age five.”

– James Meredith

We are teachers – in some form or another. Now, perhaps a majority of the reading audience are devoid of the appropriate formal certification, but we are indeed teachers nonetheless. Knowingly or unknowingly instructing through our behavior, language, and actions; we shape and mold young, virginal, and formless minds. That cannot be taken for granted. We are, first and foremost, the foreman of fashioning intellectual promise, building emotional stability, and framing principled character. During those early formative years, our guidance and instruction is needed – no – it is desperately crucial to a child’s development. Their future hinges on what we teach them in the present. And that is where we should be – present; never absent from their growth and maturation. It is time for us to lead by example. We are the models of morality. We are the cultivators of character. We are the installers of integrity. We enable enthusiasm for education, and we advocate the accrual of astounding accomplishments. The foundation is ready to be laid. Let’s not wait any longer.

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

 – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Failure. To be absolutely certain, the possibility of failure sometimes negates the action of risk. But without risk, albeit intelligent and calculated risk, the beauty of success cannot be viewed from above if one willfully settles into deep valley of fear. Now fear, of course, can be a powerful and intense emotion that dictates behavior and conduct. A myriad of promising dreams and aspirations have collapsed under the immense weight of fear. Fortunately, your broad shoulders are blessed with the strength to not only bear the doubt, the trepidation, the uneasiness; they are also strong enough to press its worrisome mass high and toss it aside with relative ease. Why? Well, because friend, your character is constructed with a firm confidence and fortified with unwavering faith. Even when others cannot see the entire picture, your vision is broadened by belief, hope, and trust – in yourself. And you understand that your vision is a vision of success. The path is set, the destination is clear, all you have to do is take the first step. And don’t fear, we’re all walking this road together.

“Anytime you see somebody more successful than you are, they are doing something you aren’t.”

– Malcolm X

The haunting fear of failure can certainly impede any aspiring gentleman from realizing his dreams & goals. Well, success does not arrive without crooks in the road or cracks in the pavement. However, the gentleman should never let such things deter him from accomplishing any rewarding or desired objective. Anyone who has tasted any form of success understands this completely. The successful gentleman welcomes and embodies the meaning of sacrifice. He stretches himself to enormous lengths, such lengths that maybe the next man is not willing to endure. Endless days. Weary eyes. Growing frustration. Certain disappointment. Perseverance and diligence is instrumental. Locate and recognize success. Appreciate it. Study it. Learn from it. Emulate it. Mold your path to success and allow nothing to block your progress.

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard on incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence.”

-Frederick Douglass

At the close of the regular business day, a gentleman is who he has to live with. If he constantly compromises his ideology for the appeasement of others, he is at risk of losing his identity. He is at risk of losing his credibility. Remaining true to your character is what makes you unique. Authenticity is paramount. It is essential, it is vital to a gentleman’s character. While it is often terribly difficult not to follow the crowd, you will receive the respect & admiration from people for standing on your principles. Most important, you will respect yourself. A gentleman should never acquiesce, he should never tacitly sacrifice his core beliefs because he is fearful of public derision. Stand firm. You are a gentleman of strong character and substance. You may incur differing amounts of ridicule, however, rest assured that those individuals admire your strength and resolve. And they should.

It was not that long ago that I would dread accompanying my wife to social gatherings. It was not because I hated her company. It was not because I hated her friends, or because I simply preferred to stay at home. The specific reasoning, rather, was I was disappointed with what I had achieved in life up to that point. The thing about social gatherings, you see, the conversation almost always involves, in one form or the other, this: what you are currently doing in life. Sure, I was soundly employed, but I did not possess a real purpose, a real passion in life. Owning a failed bid at college, I had neatly settled into a regular 9 to 5, but that was about it. And therefore, social gatherings, at least in my mind, transformed into an imaginary trial where I was forced to testify to all my shortcomings and failures. I loathed them; I would retreat to an isolated section of the room with the hopes that conversation would quietly pass me by. And then by accident, I found my purpose.

Speaking to my uncle about possibly becoming a mentor, I decided to attend an event hosted by Michael Baisden for Big Brothers Big Sisters. After listening to Baisden read the other African-American men in attendance the riot act, I was shamefully compelled to sign up. Shortly thereafter, I created this blog. I started volunteering at Rescue My Son. I began volunteering in my children’s ministry at church. I had found a purpose – a purpose that extended beyond mechanically punching a clock day in and day out. And ironically, none of my new ventures placed cash in my pockets, yet they were the most rewarding to my spirit.

Emboldened, my drive for success and helping others increased. I got a promotion at work. My blog procured a larger, wider audience. I was invited to speak at a few workshops. I began to freelance write for a few companies. For the first time in a very long time, accomplishment had made its way back into my life. I felt proud. I felt fulfilled. I felt purposeful. So, on this day, the celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday and the second Presidential Inauguration of President Barack Obama, I want to remind every gentleman and gentlewoman to have a dream. Have aspirations. Have a purpose. And then demonstrate the drive, diligence, and persistence to make your dreams a reality. Stay blessed my friends. Oh, and by the way, social gatherings are no longer intimidating – I actually welcome the verbal intercourse. Much easier when you have something to talk about – right?