“His road of thought is what makes every man what he is.”

 Zora Neale Hurston

How a gentleman thinks is paramount in shaping and defining his character. Let it be understood, the thought process is unequivocally a crucial process. How one thinks has a direct impact on reality. A consistently melancholy and glum attitude can lead to an existence that is absent fulfillment, cheer, and hope. Recommendation: Think positively. Think happily. Think victoriously. Trust, positive thought is extremely important to an individual’s spiritual, mental, and physical health. Ensure that you demonstrate caution towards people who display a propensity for negative thinking. Thoughts can be tainted, or be allowed to flourish under the right conditions and circumstances. What you require is affirmation, encouragement, and support. Now, is it possible to think positively all of the time? Perhaps not. Nevertheless, if a gentleman cultivates an excellent grade of good mental soil, any nasty weed that sprouts without welcome can be readily purged from his head. But it is necessary that you begin with good fertile ground from which positive ideas, good behavior, and honorable character spring abundantly. It starts with positive thinking. It starts with you. It starts today.

“What any human being can do in life depends upon the foundation laid between birth and age five.”

- James Meredith

We are teachers – in some form or another. Now, perhaps a majority of the reading audience are devoid of the appropriate formal certification, but we are indeed teachers nonetheless. Knowingly or unknowingly instructing through our behavior, language, and actions; we shape and mold young, virginal, and formless minds. That cannot be taken for granted. We are, first and foremost, the foreman of fashioning intellectual promise, building emotional stability, and framing principled character. During those early formative years, our guidance and instruction is needed – no – it is desperately crucial to a child’s development. Their future hinges on what we teach them in the present. And that is where we should be – present; never absent from their growth and maturation. It is time for us to lead by example. We are the models of morality. We are the cultivators of character. We are the installers of integrity. We enable enthusiasm for education, and we advocate the accrual of astounding accomplishments. The foundation is ready to be laid. Let’s not wait any longer.

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

 - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Failure. To be absolutely certain, the possibility of failure sometimes negates the action of risk. But without risk, albeit intelligent and calculated risk, the beauty of success cannot be viewed from above if one willfully settles into deep valley of fear. Now fear, of course, can be a powerful and intense emotion that dictates behavior and conduct. A myriad of promising dreams and aspirations have collapsed under the immense weight of fear. Fortunately, your broad shoulders are blessed with the strength to not only bear the doubt, the trepidation, the uneasiness; they are also strong enough to press its worrisome mass high and toss it aside with relative ease. Why? Well, because friend, your character is constructed with a firm confidence and fortified with unwavering faith. Even when others cannot see the entire picture, your vision is broadened by belief, hope, and trust – in yourself. And you understand that your vision is a vision of success. The path is set, the destination is clear, all you have to do is take the first step. And don’t fear, we’re all walking this road together.

“Anytime you see somebody more successful than you are, they are doing something you aren’t.”

- Malcolm X

The haunting fear of failure can certainly impede any aspiring gentleman from realizing his dreams & goals. Well, success does not arrive without crooks in the road or cracks in the pavement. However, the gentleman should never let such things deter him from accomplishing any rewarding or desired objective. Anyone who has tasted any form of success understands this completely. The successful gentleman welcomes and embodies the meaning of sacrifice. He stretches himself to enormous lengths, such lengths that maybe the next man is not willing to endure. Endless days. Weary eyes. Growing frustration. Certain disappointment. Perseverance and diligence is instrumental. Locate and recognize success. Appreciate it. Study it. Learn from it. Emulate it. Mold your path to success and allow nothing to block your progress.

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard on incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence.”

-Frederick Douglass

At the close of the regular business day, a gentleman is who he has to live with. If he constantly compromises his ideology for the appeasement of others, he is at risk of losing his identity. He is at risk of losing his credibility. Remaining true to your character is what makes you unique. Authenticity is paramount. It is essential, it is vital to a gentleman’s character. While it is often terribly difficult not to follow the crowd, you will receive the respect & admiration from people for standing on your principles. Most important, you will respect yourself. A gentleman should never acquiesce, he should never tacitly sacrifice his core beliefs because he is fearful of public derision. Stand firm. You are a gentleman of strong character and substance. You may incur differing amounts of ridicule, however, rest assured that those individuals admire your strength and resolve. And they should.

It was not that long ago that I would dread accompanying my wife to social gatherings. It was not because I hated her company. It was not because I hated her friends, or because I simply preferred to stay at home. The specific reasoning, rather, was I was disappointed with what I had achieved in life up to that point. The thing about social gatherings, you see, the conversation almost always involves, in one form or the other, this: what you are currently doing in life. Sure, I was soundly employed, but I did not possess a real purpose, a real passion in life. Owning a failed bid at college, I had neatly settled into a regular 9 to 5, but that was about it. And therefore, social gatherings, at least in my mind, transformed into an imaginary trial where I was forced to testify to all my shortcomings and failures. I loathed them; I would retreat to an isolated section of the room with the hopes that conversation would quietly pass me by. And then by accident, I found my purpose.

Speaking to my uncle about possibly becoming a mentor, I decided to attend an event hosted by Michael Baisden for Big Brothers Big Sisters. After listening to Baisden read the other African-American men in attendance the riot act, I was shamefully compelled to sign up. Shortly thereafter, I created this blog. I started volunteering at Rescue My Son. I began volunteering in my children’s ministry at church. I had found a purpose – a purpose that extended beyond mechanically punching a clock day in and day out. And ironically, none of my new ventures placed cash in my pockets, yet they were the most rewarding to my spirit.

Emboldened, my drive for success and helping others increased. I got a promotion at work. My blog procured a larger, wider audience. I was invited to speak at a few workshops. I began to freelance write for a few companies. For the first time in a very long time, accomplishment had made its way back into my life. I felt proud. I felt fulfilled. I felt purposeful. So, on this day, the celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday and the second Presidential Inauguration of President Barack Obama, I want to remind every gentleman and gentlewoman to have a dream. Have aspirations. Have a purpose. And then demonstrate the drive, diligence, and persistence to make your dreams a reality. Stay blessed my friends. Oh, and by the way, social gatherings are no longer intimidating – I actually welcome the verbal intercourse. Much easier when you have something to talk about – right?

“What any human being can do in life depends upon the foundation laid between birth and age five.”

- James Meredith

We are teachers – in some form or another. Now, perhaps a majority of the reading audience are devoid of the appropriate formal certification, but we are indeed teachers nonetheless. Knowingly or unknowingly instructing through our behavior, language, and actions; we shape and mold young, virginal, and formless minds. That cannot be taken for granted. We are, first and foremost, the foreman of fashioning intellectual promise, building emotional stability, and framing principled character. During those early formative years, our guidance and instruction is needed – no – it is desperately crucial to a child’s development. Their future hinges on what we teach them in the present. And that is where we should be – present; never absent from their growth and maturation. It is time for us to lead by example. We are the models of morality. We are the cultivators of character. We are the installers of integrity. We enable enthusiasm for education, and we advocate the accrual of astounding accomplishments. The foundation is ready to be laid. Let’s not wait any longer.

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

-Frederick Douglass

As a parent, it is absolutely paramount that you ensure your child’s maturation is nurtured and cultivated for maximal, positive growth. To be certain, there are a myriad of unfortunate realities that work tirelessly to undermine and hinder your child’s development. Harsh realities such as poverty, crime, low self-esteem, bullying, and poor academic performance can lead to self-destructive behavior that regretfully transitions into adulthood. Moreover, if that adult decides to have children, there is a high risk that self-destructive behavior will be consciously or subconsciously transferred to the subsequent generation. Truth: Some of the biggest bullies, critics, and abusers live right in the household. And that is a reality that we cannot tacitly accept. We have to do better. We must become increasingly more active by protecting and educating our youth, ensuring that they are intelligently prepared for the life that awaits them. We have to encourage. We have to impart meaningful wisdom. We have to enlighten them. We must unconditionally love them. We must fortify the integrity of their spirit and reinforce the foundation of their character. They deserve our parenting best – let’s get to work.

“Having been given, I must give.”

-Paul Robeson

“Have you grown to the point where you can unflinchingly stand up for the right, for that which is honorable, honest, truthful, whether it makes you popular or unpopular? Have you grown to the point where absolutely and unreservedly you make truth and honor your standard of thinking and speaking?”

Booker T. Washington

Sometimes, a gentleman must utilize the power of his voice to tell individuals what they need you hear, and not necessarily what they want to hear. Trust, there exists a sharp contrast between the two. And sometimes, he must make a stand for what he believes is right and true. In some cases, truth brings an unmistakable pain of reality, often a reality that many people resist or ignore. And truth can sometimes be a nasty medicine that is seemingly unbearable to digest. Nevertheless, a gentleman would be doing a terrible disservice by masking truth with pleasant, comfortable falsehoods. A gentleman must be a credible source of wise counsel. He bears the responsibility of imparting wisdom and providing useful knowledge. True, some spoken truths will certainly bring unpopularity. Standing steadfast by one’s moral convictions won’t be deemed as popular either. But this isn’t a popularity contest. This is about delivering a righteous word. This is about standing for substance of a higher standard – no matter what resistance you might encounter. Don’t waver. Stand tall. Stand confident. Speak truth. Make a difference.